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I feel that I look much better at 51 than I did at 35. I like my face a lot better, because it FINALLY has some definition. I have a naturally "baby faced" look with round cheeks and soft features, so finally around 45 or so my cheekbones showed up - and I love them!
Baby-faced women tend not to age, which isn't always a good thing. If they're mistaken for college students in professional contexts or socially, that's not helpful. I know a woman who's been practicing law for 15 years, and she said she's gotten comments that when she dresses in her "power suit" for the courtroom, she looks like she's wearing her mother's clothes. It's worse for those who are short--then they do tend to look like kids, even in middle age. Women who don't have kids and who exercise stay young-looking and energetic well into their 50's. There's no norm as to when women or men start losing their looks.
And a similar question: at which age do they start to look older, but in a bad way?
depends...do they smoke? drink? do drugs? Bake themselves in the sun/tanning bed?
People, not just women, who do these things age faster than those of us who don't. I'm 44 and look 28..get asked if my 26 yr old daughter is my sister all the time.
Its not just lifestyle, genetics plays a primary role in how people age. You can avoid the sun, never smoke or drink, eat right and life a healthy lifestyle but, if you have a genetic predisposition, you will look older sooner than others. Its the role of the dice. Of course a healthy lifestyle is also a big factor but I've known men and women who were attractive in their 20s, lived healthy lifestyles and were unrecognizable by their 40s. Just the way it goes. We all age differently but if we live long enough, we eventually all begin to look the same!
I feel that I look much better at 51 than I did at 35. I like my face a lot better, because it FINALLY has some definition. I have a naturally "baby faced" look with round cheeks and soft features, so finally around 45 or so my cheekbones showed up - and I love them!
My hair is better now than it was when I was younger as well. My hair used to be really curly and thick. Now that I'm older, it's thinned somewhat - which is a good thing. It's also tamer. So now I have a head full of more manageable hair, and I like that as well.
I'm a natural brunette with dark eyes and hair, and a touch of olive to my skin tone, so I don't have to deal with wrinkles yet. I have always had a touch of oil to my skin so it's not dry now, which helps.
So many of the things I hated about myself when I was younger - wild, crazy hair, round baby face, combination skin with occasional breakouts - all ended up being pluses as I aged!
I've maintained a healthy weight and I am active, so though my figure isn't perfect (after all, I am fifty one and I've had four kids!), I'm tall and my clothes look decent on me. I guess you could say that I'm confident in my looks and in my abilities, and I've embraced middle age with great passion. These are some of the very best years in my life!
I think all this joy, confidence, and enthusiasm shows in my face and in the way I carry myself. I am more confident now than I have ever been in my life.
And that confidence hinges less on "how I look" than ever before - which is ironic.
I have never been a conventional beauty and have never "counted on" my looks or sex appeal to get ahead in life. But over the past decade or so, it's slowly dawned on me that in spite of my unglamourous start in life, even thru my twenties and thirties when we SHOULD be in "our prime," that unexpectedly in my forties and beyond, my looks have actually improved.
That was a benefit that I never, never expected as I aged.
Its not just lifestyle, genetics plays a primary role in how people age. You can avoid the sun, never smoke or drink, eat right and life a healthy lifestyle but, if you have a genetic predisposition, you will look older sooner than others. Its the role of the dice. Of course a healthy lifestyle is also a big factor but I've known men and women who were attractive in their 20s, lived healthy lifestyles and were unrecognizable by their 40s. Just the way it goes. We all age differently but if we live long enough, we eventually all begin to look the same!
Yes this is true. My mother, who did smoke up until four years ago, is now 72 and looks only a few years older than me. She doesn't look like what you might think the typical 72 year old woman should. My grandmother, who smoked up until her death at 80 or 81, never looked older than 50 or 55 in her older years. She started looking maybe 60 right before she died of colon cancer though, but I think that was from the pain and dramatic loss of weight at the time. In fact, she was still dying her hair to her previously natural red color and it didn't look ridiculous. You know how some, (men and women both,) try to keep their previous natural color with dyes and yet it looks odd because their face doesn't match the youth of their hair color? Well my grandmother had so few wrinkles, barely any actually, it still appeared natural on her.
So yes, genetics can play a huge role in how you are going to age. However all that said, beauty is still in the eyes of the beholder and most likely the men you'll date or the man you're married to at the age is not going to look any different than you, unless he's much younger or a lot older. Furthermore, once you are older you'll most likely not want to date younger men because your body will have made some drastic and usually quite embarrassing changes.
Here's a list of what I have noticed and what I've been told by older women will happen as you age:
late 40's - a bizarre gut begins to develop that goes from the bottom of your breasts down to your abdomen. It looks very similar to a beer belly on a man. This is from the loss of estrogen in your body, which will also lead to facial hair - yes facial hair even on light haired women. I'm not talking just a mustache either - chin hair!!!! That's why it's called the change of life, you'll go from looking mostly like a woman to closer to looking like a man in just a short period of time.
The late 40's you will also begin to loose some control over your bladder so watch funny movies in the privacy of your own home so you don't have to walk out of the theater with pee pee pants.
In your 50's this bladder control will worsen. Long trips will have to be done via RV - and that's why you see so many older couples with motor homes - they have toilets. Either that or you'll have to teach your husband to actually stop when you say, "Darn it Herb, I said stop the car right now!" This can occur anywhere along the road or busy highway too. Don't worry though, the cars passing by will only think it's a teenager mooning them and not a 50 some year old women peeing on the side of the road, which you will have to do because you won't be able to hold it in to make it to the woods or any other cover nearby.
Then the 60's - according to my mother and others, will be bringing something to your life even more embarrassing then peeing on yourself in public. This is when the flatulence starts but again, don't worry you can blame the sound or smell or both on your husband if you're in a public place and he won't care because he will not be able to hear what you told them anyway.
Last edited by GINGERSNAP1963; 03-22-2013 at 06:34 AM..
Great posts overall, Gingersnap. I would only add that the gut thing really depends on the individual. I've known women who have gone through menopause and still have very young-looking bodies. Other women seem to balloon overnight. And still others experience a more gradual change. It's so different for everyone! Some women experience severe insomnia when their hormones crash at menopause (which can occur anytime between 40 (though usually later) and 60). Others barely notice any change at all at menopause, no change in appearance, not much change in energy. Everyone says they have to be a lot more careful of what they eat, though, because weight gain becomes easier after the hormonal balance changes, and weight loss becomes more difficult.
Great posts overall, Gingersnap. I would only add that the gut thing really depends on the individual. I've known women who have gone through menopause and still have very young-looking bodies. Other women seem to balloon overnight. And still others experience a more gradual change. It's so different for everyone! Some women experience severe insomnia when their hormones crash at menopause (which can occur anytime between 40 (though usually later) and 60). Others barely notice any change at all at menopause, no change in appearance, not much change in energy. Everyone says they have to be a lot more careful of what they eat, though, because weight gain becomes easier after the hormonal balance changes, and weight loss becomes more difficult.
Yes Ruth that is so true too! Some women are very blessed to forgo the gut until much later.
Plus I am one of those women who suffer from insomnia and I have been taking over the counter sleeping pills for quite a few years now. I cannot not sleep at all without them and I still wake up around 3 or 4 in the morning. This is when I pluck my chin hairs, then go back to bed so I'll be free of chin hair when my husband wakes up. He has no idea I grow a short red beard each day and I'd like to keep it that way.
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Furthermore, once you are older you'll most likely not want to date younger men because your body will have made some drastic and usually quite embarrassing changes. 
