Trying to live as a woman, Help needed please ? (dying, cut, Walmart)

[lostbutterfly]

Hi G-fused, yes i am attracted to men, i was always a straight man but a year ago i started to feel some sexual attraction to men, it was hard to accept but i have now but i have never been with a man.

Hi Tracysam thanks for your reply and concern, i do have regular counciling with a specialist and have had for the past 2 and a half years. This is not a decision i have taken lightly or rushed in anyway, yes i would say it was forced upon me, i never had any feelings as a man that i wanted to be a woman, none a tall so this is something that has occurred over time. I cannot pass as a male, when i do dress as a man i look like a woman trying to be a man, physically anyway. But as a woman i look ok body wise but my face is still masculine, yes it has softened and become rounder but its still a mans face, thats why i need help i guess.

The trans community have trouble relating to me, i have joined sites before to gain advice but i was ignored in some respect, i sensed that some of the community where a little angry with me because i had what many of them want and i did not have to take anything and i did not even want it, so it was not for me so here i am. Thanks again xx

[lostbutterfly]

Hi G-fused, many do not get it, i cannot take hormones to help me because i cannot absorb male hormones, i have had male HRT treatment and other methods of stopping my hormone production and so on and so on, they have tried everything treatment wise. Yes my so called friends reacted badly, Most said yes they understand and they where find for a while then gradually they would ring me less, ignore my txts and phonecalls and just blank me out there life, my dad wanted nothing to do with me and i have not seen my mum since i was 16 so to be honest i have hardly any family anyway. I understand your caution and i would be the same, its a hard situation to understand. Thanks anyway xx

[Tracysherm]

I would also reject any treatment provider who tells me this is "untreatable."

Why not write to hormone imbalance experts, people who are considered experts at the national or international level?

Men who have excess estrogen and with low testosterone can have severe medical and psychological effects as a result--heart disease, prostate disease, prostate cancer, major depression, obesity and obesity-related illnesses, just to name a few. And those are men who presumably still have some testosterone. You could be in even more danger.

Have you been tested for a possible pituitary tumor?

I just don't think you should give up so soon, throw up your hands and say "I might as well just be a woman."

Are you planning full gender-reassignment surgery?

Why did your family abandon you just because you have a physical illness?

I'm just thinking here are much more important issues here than how to style your hair or what lipstick to use.

[Tracysherm]

Most of the info I can find on androgen insensitivity says that it's usually a genetic problem first noticed in infancy. I did find "Acquired androgen insensitivity" and it seems to be not a disease on its own, but an effect of some other disease. Just in skimming, I see it being related to epilepsy, liver diseases, even with severe alcoholism (with related liver disease). I even saw mentions of excess copper and insufficient zinc.

[Montguy]

If you lived as a heterosexual, socialized male prior to your hormone malfunction, I'm kind of at a loss to understand why physical embodiment of a woman is so truly necessary. Has your body's inability to absorb testosterone altered your mental/psychological gender identification? Aren't you at all bothered when you don't see an obvious male appearance when you look in the mirror as I assume you had for roughly the first three decades of your life?

I ask these questions only because you didn't describe your gender identity as being transgendered/gender dysphoric prior to your medical issues surfacing (and I sincerely hope that I'm not being too intrusive).

On a final note, if one of your concerns is adapting to new clothing requirements (you've chosen the fashion forum, after all), well, if you're still at all comfortable with an outwardly male appearance, why not continue to wear male clothing?

[Montguy]

Wow, I should have looked at page 2 before posting...sorry, guys.

[DR2012]

Originally Posted by lostbutterfly

Thank you yes the world is full of people who judge and lash out at anything they do not understand, its sad but reality well i guess i need so much help i dont know what to start with lol.

Make-up i guess is so hard for me, i struggle with colour matching and so on, i am fair skinned and blue eyed, i have tried to pick up hints and so on from you tube but my internet is rubbish so i cannot really get much, so i want to know what colours would suite me and what make-up i actually need i.e foundation eyeliner and so on, its actually really complicated.

Again a big thank you and a hug is well received xx

Yeah I am a woman and I am terrible with make-up anyway so that is why I couldn't offer more help. I just sort of gave-up there on myself. But don't give you. There should be some google resources that might help too.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

Since you asked in the fashion forum, I'm guessing you're not looking for advice about your condition, but rather about female fashion.

A lot of women don't wear makeup either, or don't wear it all the time. It can be inconvenient if you're going to be sweating a lot.

If you have thick eyebrows, grooming and shaping them will help soften the look of your face. The first time you have them done, go to a salon so you can have them shaped by a professional. After that, you can maintain them at home with a pair of tweezers, just plucking any stray hairs that start to grow back once a week or so.

Foundation---you don't necessarily need foundation, but if you do, there are different kinds depending on how much coverage you need, whether you have wrinkles, oily skin, dry skin, etc. A mineral foundation (powder that you apply with a brush) is fairly easy to apply. Most women will buy a few different foundation makeups before they find one that works really well for them, so don't feel bad if you have to try a few. You might try a BB cream if you don't need a lot of coverage.

Eyeliner comes in liquid, pencil and gel forms. The pencil is the easiest to use, especially the kind that don't have to be sharpened. You can also get a small brush with a straight tip and use dark eyeshadow for eyeliner (you can dip the brush in a bit of water to make the powder look darker and more intense). Liquid eyeliner will be a more dramatic look, and maybe not a daytime look. During the day, use a neutral shade like brown and just use it on your upper eyelids.

Eyeshadow---get a compact that has three or four shades of the same color. The medium shade will go on your eyelids below the crease, the darker shade can be applied lightly to the crease, and the lightest shade goes just below your eyebrows. Blend the eyeshadow so you can't see lines between the shades. Using shades of cream and brown is probably the easiest. Don't try colors like blue or green until you're more used to using makeup.

Mascara---there are all different kinds, depending on what you want it to do...lengthen, curl, etc. The ones that have a rubbery brush that looks like a caterpillar are the easiest to apply, at least in my opinion.

Lip liner---this helps keep the lipstick from spreading past your lips. You can match it to the lipstick or use a neutral shade. You can also fill your lips in with lip liner and then just use gloss on top, instead of using lipstick.

Generally speaking, if you're going to use really vivid or dark eye makeup, use a lighter lipstick, about the same shade as your natural lip color.

You can find books about makeup too...your local library should have some.

One other thing, it's better not to paint your fingernails than it is to go around with chipped polish...but it always looks better to paint your toenails than to leave them plain.

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

If you are serious, go to any large department store and ask at a cosmetic counter of some medium-priced brand for advice. They have "events" where they do your makeup and try to sell you stuff. But any of them will offer advice about colors and products that will work on you.

[weezycom]

get two pieces of fabric, one in true orange and one in true magenta. These two colors will help you differentiate if you look better in warm tones or cool tones. With no make-up on at all, in natural sunlight, one at a time wrap each piece of fabric to frame your face. One will make your features pop and one will make you look drab. Then it's much easier -- with magenta, you'll look best in silver/white gold, blue-toned colors, black and navy, but will have a difficult time wearing most greens, yellows and oranges. You'll need cherry reds rather than tomato reds. Think Reese Witherspoon and Drew Barrymore. With orange, you'll look better in yellow gold, yellow-toned colors, brown and olive, and will have a difficult time wearing most petal pinks, purples and intense blues. Think Cameron Diaz and Heidi Klum.

As far as finding friends, try to find a real world LGBT group; figure you'll have to show up 3-4 times before folks really start to open up to you. And if there's a drag show in your area, get in touch and leave a message to see if one of the performers will give you a makeup lesson or two for a fee. They well may overdo the makeup -- after all, they're accustomed to doing their face for a stage show -- but you'll learn a lot of techniques that you can then do with a lighter hand up to get a more daily wear appearance. If that's not an option in your area, go to a big department store and scout the makeup counters for male personnel (often, the MAC counters). They will likely be more accustomed to doing a male-to-female face.