How can I stop obsessing so much over my looks and the importance of looks? Will I eventually find happyness?

[WyoNewk]

I knew you were young by reading your opening post. (I'm old.)

My younger brother was like you were growing up. Pudgy. Round face. Smart. Un-athletic. My older brother and I were the opposite -- high school jocks, slender (older brother) and muscular build (me), handsome ladies' men. As we aged it was the younger brother who kept it all together. Today, at 61, he's much as he was in college -- slender, in shape and looking good. He rides his bike 100+ miles most weekends. He could easily pass for 40. It didn't take all these years for him to become the good-looking one in the family either. In any room, he's the one that gets the looks, and it's been that way for years now. He has a powerful charisma. I think he got that from being the ugly duckling in his early years. He doesn't just get attention from his looks, he takes command with his charm. He's been that way since his 20s.

You were blessed with many attributes. I'd concentrate on them. THEY are what will make you attractive, and they'll keep you attractive into old age. Good looks is very fleeting. Don't bother chasing it; make up for it with your strengths.

If you can't see this as being true, I agree with those who suggest you see a therapist. Good luck.

[n2da2nd]

Originally Posted by Libertine The Great

I am a fairly miserable guy. On one hand I want to be good looking and feel that I have the potential in me to be a good looking guy. On the other hand I know that genetics gave me a really bad hand (round face, big nose, and almond eyes).

People have described me as intelligent, charming, cool guy, and I have had a lot of good things said about me.

Yet, I want to be known by society for my looks. Like when people describe me, I want handsome, good looking, and attractive to be one of the qualities they list. I have definitely considered plastic surgery and do plan on looking more into it and finding the money to get it. Like I don't even want to be good looking just to attract women, because I know money, confidence, and a lot of other things can do that. I want to be good looking to be good looking alone, so I can be labeled as handsome and often be known for my looks.

Problem is somewhere in my mind, I have a hard time stopping this obsession. I think it has to do with me being bullied or joked about for my looks while growing up (I was fat and geeky but I lost a lot of weight now).

How do I handle this problem?

You don't have to be "handsome" to get accepted by the society, heck you already have most of the positive characteristics that not everybody has. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholders, don't let any negative things hold you back, man. Go to the gym and exercise, buy clothes that complement your body, keep your personal hygiene in check, and you're good to go
Have you ever heard of song called "Just the Way You Are," by a guy name Bruno Mars? Go listen to it.
P.S: DON'T EVER THINK OF PLASTIC SURGERY AGAIN!!!