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Old 11-22-2013, 11:39 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 6,356,735 times
Reputation: 3846

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tagus Crows View Post
You wish. It's spread around.
Agree. This type of culture is hardly limited to the US now but ...in all fairness, it DID start here. :-)
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:40 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 6,356,735 times
Reputation: 3846
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
But as for average men, average men will struggle just as much or even more than fat or unattractive women.
Average in what? Looks?
Not true.
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Queens, NY
842 posts, read 945,754 times
Reputation: 1012
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Even though you are going to hate me for what I am saying now - but if I would be an employer (and I am not) and I get applicants, I would rather hire a thin person as an obese person. I would think that if a person doesn't have discipline/willpower with him/herself, he/she probably doesn't have discipline at work or any other aspects in his/her life either. Plus he/she is probably moving slower = less work gets done.
Wow. I can't believe I just read this.

So tell us, what about the lazy bum who smokes cigarettes and has a high metabolic rate? Since you don't know anything about him, you'd probably hire him because he's thin?

A post like this is sort of proving the OP's point.
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:49 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 6,356,735 times
Reputation: 3846
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Huh??? Are you drunk? You want an Asian gold digger who wants you for your money and not for you?
It's a bit more complicated than this.

Often times, such "goodies" that seem external to the individual (Master's Degree, Mercedes, etc) are taken as an indicator of who that person actually is (intelligent, able, ambitious, interesting, etc); so the "Asian gold-digger" makes those connections in her head and yes, she wants that person for "him" - with everything that "him" brings.

That being said - a Mercedes can be very misleading because it is hardly a good indicator of intelligence. In fact, it is often the opposite.

It is sad that young people need to use such superficial maps nowadays just to figure out what partner is worth having.

People no longer recognize signs of virtue in others so they have to check all sorts of pathetic traits off of a list such as:
- Mercedes
- Hot
- PhD degree
- An attitude

etc.

I am not in the dating market myself but I shudder at the thought of my children getting into this kind of market some day. If only we could do it the Indian way - all arranged. ...
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:50 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 6,356,735 times
Reputation: 3846
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs4 fan View Post
Wow. I can't believe I just read this.

So tell us, what about the lazy bum who smokes cigarettes and has a high metabolic rate? Since you don't know anything about him, you'd probably hire him because he's thin?

A post like this is sort of proving the OP's point.

On Thanksgiving, let's all be grateful that oh-eve is not an employer.
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Old 11-22-2013, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Queens, NY
842 posts, read 945,754 times
Reputation: 1012
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
It's a bit more complicated than this.

Often times, such "goodies" that seem external to the individual (Master's Degree, Mercedes, etc) are taken as an indicator of who that person actually is (intelligent, able, ambitious, interesting, etc); so the "Asian gold-digger" makes those connections in her head and yes, she wants that person for "him" - with everything that "him" brings.

That being said - a Mercedes can be very misleading because it is hardly a good indicator of intelligence. In fact, it is often the opposite.

It is sad that young people need to use such superficial maps nowadays just to figure out what partner is worth having.

People no longer recognize signs of virtue in others so they have to check all sorts of pathetic traits off of a list such as:
- Mercedes
- Hot
- PhD degree
- An attitude

etc.

I am not in the dating market myself but I shudder at the thought of my children getting into this kind of market some day. If only we could do it the Indian way - all arranged. ...

Living in NYC and meeting a lot of women like this has taken me out of the dating market by choice.
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:18 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 6,356,735 times
Reputation: 3846
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs4 fan View Post
Living in NYC and meeting a lot of women like this has taken me out of the dating market by choice.
You mean, you gave up dating because women are superficial and they just expect you to make lots of money?

I can understand your frustration, I would be too - especially if I were a man with little earnings; but if you understand the fact that women's preferences are a reaction to the kind of world we live in today and which MEN have largely created, not women (wildly competitive, wildly unequal, "free" market capitalism - that is more like corporatism), then perhaps it would seem less harsh.
It is a vicious cycle though.

If I were you, I wouldn't give it up altogether. It is true NY has a lot of materialistic people in it (both men and women), but it is still NY that also has lots of intelligent people; and among all these smarties, it is impossible not to eventually find a woman of some character, who understands that SOME money is necessary today even to the most ardent hippy; but who wouldn't treat you strictly as a gateway to shopping for luxurious frivolities for the rest of her life.

After all, think about how materialistic MEN themselves have become when it comes to dating.
It is shocking to see how many guys demand "she should have a career of her own/she should be independent!!" - which is code for "bring money to the table". I know it from female relatives currently on the dating market.

Never mind that as soon as that egg becomes fertilized, a woman becomes anything BUT "independent".
The thing is most men can no longer be adequate providers by themselves so now they too have become materialistic.

Maybe that should allow them to sympathize with women and understand why they have traditionally expected decent providing abilities from a guy. Maybe because they were never able to provide much on their own, definitely not with toddlers wrapped around their ankles...?...
Now that guys are beaten hard by the current economy and most can no longer be good earners by themselves - maybe they will start questioning why they want women with "careers" and why they suddenly became "gold-diggers" too.

It's all about nuance - don't given up.
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:29 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,925 posts, read 13,632,910 times
Reputation: 33527
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
It's a bit more complicated than this.

Often times, such "goodies" that seem external to the individual (Master's Degree, Mercedes, etc) are taken as an indicator of who that person actually is (intelligent, able, ambitious, interesting, etc); so the "Asian gold-digger" makes those connections in her head and yes, she wants that person for "him" - with everything that "him" brings.

That being said - a Mercedes can be very misleading because it is hardly a good indicator of intelligence. In fact, it is often the opposite.

It is sad that young people need to use such superficial maps nowadays just to figure out what partner is worth having.

People no longer recognize signs of virtue in others so they have to check all sorts of pathetic traits off of a list such as:
- Mercedes
- Hot
- PhD degree
- An attitude

etc.

I am not in the dating market myself but I shudder at the thought of my children getting into this kind of market some day. If only we could do it the Indian way - all arranged. ...
If I would open a thread stating I only want to date a guy who drives a Mercedes and has money, you guys would destroy me in no time. But here it is suddenly okay to be a gold digger. Plus the stereotyping of Asians. Maaan, this double standard here is really something else.
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
842 posts, read 945,754 times
Reputation: 1012
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
You mean, you gave up dating because women are superficial and they just expect you to make lots of money?

I can understand your frustration, I would be too - especially if I were a man with little earnings; but if you understand the fact that women's preferences are a reaction to the kind of world we live in today and which MEN have largely created, not women (wildly competitive, wildly unequal, "free" market capitalism - that is more like corporatism), then perhaps it would seem less harsh.
It is a vicious cycle though.

If I were you, I wouldn't give it up altogether. It is true NY has a lot of materialistic people in it (both men and women), but it is still NY that also has lots of intelligent people; and among all these smarties, it is impossible not to eventually find a woman of some character, who understands that SOME money is necessary today even to the most ardent hippy; but who wouldn't treat you strictly as a gateway to shopping for luxurious frivolities for the rest of her life.

After all, think about how materialistic MEN themselves have become when it comes to dating.
It is shocking to see how many guys demand "she should have a career of her own/she should be independent!!" - which is code for "bring money to the table". I know it from female relatives currently on the dating market.

Never mind that as soon as that egg becomes fertilized, a woman becomes anything BUT "independent".
The thing is most men can no longer be adequate providers by themselves so now they too have become materialistic.

Maybe that should allow them to sympathize with women and understand why they have traditionally expected decent providing abilities from a guy. Maybe because they were never able to provide much on their own, definitely not with toddlers wrapped around their ankles...?...
Now that guys are beaten hard by the current economy and most can no longer be good earners by themselves - maybe they will start questioning why they want women with "careers" and why they suddenly became "gold-diggers" too.

It's all about nuance - don't given up.
I gave up because, for me, it's a waste of time. Tired of the headaches and money wasted for dates. I've been on more dates (meeting through online) where women gave me disapproving looks (you know, that 'Ewww' kind of look) upon meeting rather than a successful one. It's not easy meeting anyone offline either. I'm short, black (race is an important factor in NYC) and am a blue-collar worker. That's 3 strikes in the dating world around here.
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:41 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,925 posts, read 13,632,910 times
Reputation: 33527
Quote:
Originally Posted by rs4 fan View Post
I gave up because, for me, it's a waste of time. Tired of the headaches and money wasted for dates. I've been on more dates (meeting through online) where women gave me disapproving looks (you know, that 'Ewww' kind of look) upon meeting rather than a successful one. It's not easy meeting anyone offline either. I'm short, black (race is an important factor in NYC) and am a blue-collar worker. That's 3 strikes in the dating world around here.

I only go for coffee on first dates - you can get away quicker if you have to and he doesn't think he wasted alot of money.

Second - if you put recent pics of yourself online, there shouldn't be any "Ewwws". Same with height - be honest, lying doesn't get you anywhere.
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