U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:04 PM
 
Location: My House
34,769 posts, read 30,041,037 times
Reputation: 25811

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by treasurefinder View Post
lol I tried not to post again, buuuut, it is clear this user name only has a few posts, so anyone who continues on like the OP obviously had prior user names. I guess you are going to keep trying until someone sides with you.

Also, no wonder you feel like @#$%, everyone you have mentioned is a celeb, why dont you stop watching videos, basketball wives, and real houswives of "fill in the blank", and stop reading us weekly. There have been numerous black women on here, who are dark skinned, with great relationships, but I see you dont believe in evidence, so please spare us and go wallow in your misery elsewhere, no one here to console you. You have self loathing and its sad. You already stated in another thread you live by the weave, that in and of itself says a lot. There is nothing wrong with changing it up, but to think you have to have long straight hair is ridiculous. I have so many dark skinned friends in long term marriages that I lost count. You are stuck on stupid.
That's pretty much my take on it.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ

 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:05 PM
 
101 posts, read 88,523 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever View Post
That's pretty much my take on it.
what I do about the black men in real life who are out with their lightskinned S/Os? it triggers sadness, anger and depression. I feel rejected
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:16 PM
 
706 posts, read 976,447 times
Reputation: 1470
Why are you making a lifetime of happiness dependent on finding a man anyway? Don't you have other things going on in your life that don't include being noticed and found attractive by a man? Concentrate on those other things that make you happy and who knows..,when you least expect it maybe Mr. right will come along. Men are generally attracted to women who are going about their merry way being content and confident with their own company. You can't be happy with someone else until you can learn to be happy/content with and by yourself first. That means loving you regardless of who does or does not find you attractive.
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:25 PM
 
101 posts, read 88,523 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
Why are you making a lifetime of happiness dependent on finding a man anyway? Don't you have other things going on in your life that don't include being noticed and found attractive by a man?
It's only part of it. still there's nothing wrong with wanting to be seen as attractive by men and wanting their validation.
Quote:
Concentrate on those other things that make you happy and who knows..,when you least expect it maybe Mr. right will come along. Men are generally attracted to women who are going about their merry way being content and confident with their own company. You can't be happy with someone else until you can learn to be happy/content with and by yourself first. That means loving you regardless of who does or does not find you attractive.
It's hard for me concentrate on things that make me happy when I'm distracted by so many external forces. Like when I walk out the door and see black men with lighter complected women, or walk past magazines in the grocery or department store and see images of white and mixed race women. I become sad, and very angry. I lose all motivation to accomplish any goals. No matter what I do, I'll still be an average, darkskinned black woman that most men do not desire, and I have a look that most girls don't aspire to be. Right now, there are black men who procreate with races of other women so their children wont look like me; that's just how undesirable I am. Nothing will ever make me happy as long as I live on earth. I'll always be angry and sad unless things change...which will not happen in my lifetime. I'll always be marginalized and my existence will always have less value simply because of dark skin tone. I'll never be as important or worthy as a biracial or white woman. This is just the reality. I don't even know why I'm still breathing
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:41 PM
 
47 posts, read 58,215 times
Reputation: 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie View Post
It's only part of it. still there's nothing wrong with wanting to be seen as attractive by men and wanting their validation.
No, of course there's nothing wrong with wanting that. But you're in pain because you want something that probably isn't going to happen for you.
Quote:
It's hard for me concentrate on things that make me happy when I'm distracted by so many external forces. Like when I walk out the door and see black men with lighter complected women, or walk past magazines in the grocery or department store and see images of white and mixed race women. I become sad, and very angry. I lose all motivation to accomplish any goals. No matter what I do, I'll still be an average, darkskinned black woman that most men do not desire, and I have a look that most girls don't aspire to be. Right now, there are black men who procreate with races of other women so their children wont look like me; that's just how undesirable I am. Nothing will ever make me happy as long as I live on earth. I'll always be angry and sad unless things change...which will not happen in my lifetime. I'll always be marginalized and my existence will always have less value simply because of dark skin tone. I'll never be as important or worthy as a biracial or white woman. This is just the reality. I don't even know why I'm still breathing
Try looking at it this way. There are people who go blind, or end up without legs. A lot of them just get frustrated because the people around them are sighted, or can walk. They're always thinking about all the things sighted people can do, or all the things you can do with legs. It's obvious that society is setup for people without disabilities, and those who do have them suffer.

Your handicap is being a black woman, and you clearly, justifiably feel much the same way. There are a lot of things you miss out on because of that, things you don't feel it's fair you'll be denied.

But, there are some traditions where people believe in reincarnation and karma. So, consider this. What if in a past life, you were a white woman who flaunted her beauty a lot, and went out of her way to make non-white women feel jealous and aware of their place? Then, your current situation would be the result of karma. And there would be the possibility that in your next life, once you paid the karmic price, you might get to be white again. In other words, this might not be all there is. Take comfort in that concept.
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:43 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,232 posts, read 43,588,368 times
Reputation: 51960
You're seriously going to feed into this? An ethnic background is not a disability.
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:45 PM
 
706 posts, read 976,447 times
Reputation: 1470
There is something very wrong with wanting anyone's validation if you allow it to determine your self worth and overall happiness.. Nobody's validation of you should be that important. If you truly only see black men pursuing only white or light skinned women, I suggest you consider a change of scenery. I assure you it's not like that everywhere.
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:47 PM
 
101 posts, read 88,523 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
You're seriously going to feed into this? An ethnic background is not a disability.
Yes, it is. There are many many disadvantages to being a black woman. It's almost a chore for me to muster up enough energy to go out in public because typically I see BM with BW (who are light) or non black women. Day in and day out, I feel rejected, ugly, and inadequate. Then I have to deal with the negative comments I get from black men in real life, music, movies, youtube, blogs. Then the attacks on my hair. It's a terrible lot to be in. If there is an afterlife, I hope that I'll be reincarnated into a race that is the majority with less stereotypes. I'm miserable in this one
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:48 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
81,198 posts, read 74,353,005 times
Reputation: 80969
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie View Post
so because your white brother was with a very darkskinned black woman, that means the standard of beauty has changed, and that you'll see dark women praised as the standard of beauty in society? will we see women like her on the cover of every magazine? or see black men like kanye west and jay z dating women like her?
Nobody said the standard of beauty has changed. (Stop putting words in people's mouths!) The point is that humanity is diverse, and people's tastes are diverse. There may be certain standards of beauty, but there will ALWAYS be people who buck the trends and follow their own heart. But you'll never find one of those people with your defeatist attitude.
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:51 PM
 
101 posts, read 88,523 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeremy1988 View Post
No, of course there's nothing wrong with wanting that. But you're in pain because you want something that probably isn't going to happen for you.


Try looking at it this way. There are people who go blind, or end up without legs. A lot of them just get frustrated because the people around them are sighted, or can walk. They're always thinking about all the things sighted people can do, or all the things you can do with legs. It's obvious that society is setup for people without disabilities, and those who do have them suffer.

Your handicap is being a black woman, and you clearly, justifiably feel much the same way. There are a lot of things you miss out on because of that, things you don't feel it's fair you'll be denied.

But, there are some traditions where people believe in reincarnation and karma. So, consider this. What if in a past life, you were a white woman who flaunted her beauty a lot, and went out of her way to make non-white women feel jealous and aware of their place? Then, your current situation would be the result of karma. And there would be the possibility that in your next life, once you paid the karmic price, you might get to be white again. In other words, this might not be all there is. Take comfort in that concept.
Okay, that gives me some comfort, knowing that I may be reincarnated in another life as a different race, maybe biracial or white. I certainly feel like I am suffering in this one as a black woman, with all of the negative stereotypes, and lack of acceptance. I would love to be able to break free from this.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top