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Old 12-17-2013, 11:51 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
81,090 posts, read 74,265,346 times
Reputation: 80835

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie View Post
what I do about the black men in real life who are out with their lightskinned S/Os? it triggers sadness, anger and depression. I feel rejected
You're allowing yourself to feel rejected. That is a choice. You're stuck in habitual thought patterns. Try looking for people who don't fit the pattern you're fixated on. Are there other dark-skinned women where you live? What are they doing? Who are they with? How do they look, dress, behave? Do they look angry/depressed, or do they smile or look pleasant?

 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:57 PM
 
101 posts, read 88,446 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
You're allowing yourself to feel rejected. That is a choice. You're stuck in habitual thought patterns. Try looking for people who don't fit the pattern you're fixated on. Are there other dark-skinned women where you live? What are they doing? Who are they with? How do they look, dress, behave? Do they look angry/depressed, or do they smile or look pleasant?
the ones I know don't have great lives, some are unhappy with being dark, others are in denial about colorism and ignore the abuse they endure. A lot of them are ignored. Like at work, no one really pays them any mind unless they do something out there and wear a light colored wig or something. Usually its the light complected people who are validated or acknowledged. Everyone knows who they are. I. know I get confused with other dark women a lot which makes me feel like I'm not important or very pretty
 
Old 12-17-2013, 11:57 PM
 
1,426 posts, read 1,974,262 times
Reputation: 1960
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie View Post
As long as the media pushes images of women who are lightskinned, white or mixed down my throat. I will never ever be happy. I'll always feel unhappy and incomplete. I always dream of a day that I can wake up and see nothing but positive images of women who are darkskinned and fully black like me. Or hear men say they prefer a darkskinned blk woman. I'd be so happy and wouldn't have all this anger inside. But that will never happen
Don't be so angry about something you can't control. Such a complete waste of time. Sad.
 
Old 12-18-2013, 12:09 AM
 
706 posts, read 975,877 times
Reputation: 1470
This is very sad if it's true.

Did your parents ever tell you you were beautiful as a child? Have you always felt like this or just when you started dating/reached adulthood. I have to say I don't feel the same way you do about being a darker skinned black woman. I honestly wouldn't want to be anything BUT black. Obviously you and I as well as several other black women have had very different life experiences. I'd seriously consider moving if I were you.
 
Old 12-18-2013, 12:26 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
81,090 posts, read 74,265,346 times
Reputation: 80835
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
This is very sad if it's true.

Did your parents ever tell you you were beautiful as a child? Have you always felt like this or just when you started dating/reached adulthood. I have to say I don't feel the same way you do about being a darker skinned black woman. I honestly wouldn't want to be anything BUT black. Obviously you and I as well as several other black women have had very different life experiences. I'd seriously consider moving if I were you.
Good post. The OP hasn't told us yet where she lives. I'm curious to know. Locale can really make a difference for dating success.
 
Old 12-18-2013, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn, NY
368 posts, read 496,942 times
Reputation: 413
The media shouldn't affect your life this much lol.
 
Old 12-18-2013, 12:59 AM
 
35,107 posts, read 41,729,202 times
Reputation: 62167
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie View Post
so because your white brother was with a very darkskinned black woman, that means the standard of beauty has changed, and that you'll see dark women praised as the standard of beauty in society? will we see women like her on the cover of every magazine? or see black men like kanye west and jay z dating women like her?
The standard of beauty for my brother has always been dark skinned women and as far as kanye west and jay z I have no clue, don't know them, don't want to know them, don't know what they think of dark skinned women.

Not that it will do any good however, all women no matter what color of skin are the standard of beauty for someone.

Get your head out of the reality television programs, rag sheets and other gossip and take a giant step into the real world of men, women and beauty.

YOU are YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY and no one but you can change that except you don't want to change that because you enjoy your self loathing pity party so........

carry on and enjoy and I do wish you everything you deserve in your lifetime.

PS ~~ Please seek serious therapy with a professional very soon or at the very least find a new topic to wallow in the pity pool about.
 
Old 12-18-2013, 02:56 AM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
18,041 posts, read 19,593,342 times
Reputation: 19460
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie View Post
As long as the media pushes images of women who are lightskinned, white or mixed down my throat. I will never ever be happy. I'll always feel unhappy and incomplete. I always dream of a day that I can wake up and see nothing but positive images of women who are darkskinned and fully black like me. Or hear men say they prefer a darkskinned blk woman. I'd be so happy and wouldn't have all this anger inside. But that will never happen
Well hello there, Nyanna.
 
Old 12-18-2013, 05:10 AM
 
1,756 posts, read 876,486 times
Reputation: 1606
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
Well hello there, Nyanna.

Thank you for confirming my suspicions! I just didn't feel like doing the legwork, lol
 
Old 12-18-2013, 05:37 AM
 
101 posts, read 88,446 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitten01 View Post
This is very sad if it's true.

Did your parents ever tell you you were beautiful as a child? Have you always felt like this or just when you started dating/reached adulthood. I have to say I don't feel the same way you do about being a darker skinned black woman. I honestly wouldn't want to be anything BUT black. Obviously you and I as well as several other black women have had very different life experiences. I'd seriously consider moving if I were you.
I've felt like this since I started noticing in middle school that most boys preferred lighter complected girls. I've also been ridiculed for my complexion by black men in my adulthood, some black man in a convenience store told me that I was dark and not as beautiful as his lightskinned girlfriend. Of course when I told people what happened, I was told I had 'victim energy' and that is why he insulted me. No matter what, black men are always protected.
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