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Look around you! If it were easy to be slender, wouldn't most of us be slender? This isn't pretense, it is reality. Losing weight and maintaining it are hard. I don't know how else to explain it. Being on an eating plan consumes you. You have to think about following it every second of every minute of every day. Even when you have mastered the plan, it is still hard. You have to monitor every mouthful, every food label, every menu item. And boring? Imagine eating out twice a week and only eating salad each time for weeks on end. Or maybe a dried out grilled chicken breast and a salad.
I have not convinced myself of anything. I have dieted so many times in my life I cannot count them. I mean serious dieting. I have lived this. I haven't had to convince myself of how hard it is. It is hard. I know this because I have lived it. This is not a mental obstacle. It is my (and many others) reality.
It sounds to me as if you have convinced yourself things that are not true.
I cosign this entire post.
Even when it becomes second nature, it's not second nature (I know, that made no sense). You still have to watch yourself. You have to deal with the resentment that acookieisn'tjustacookieandwhycan'tIeatjustonewhat' swrongwithme. On top of that, you are afraid to skip a workout, because normally that means skipping two, then, three. And then.... wellsinceIhaven'tworkedoutinaweekscrewitI'lljustea ttheentireboxofcookiesbecauseI'veblownitanyway.
Losing/maintaining weight is not 90%diet and 10%exercise. It is 100% mental, 365/24/7. And it becomes exhausting.
One thing I do disagree with, is that healthy food can taste wonderful, if you know how to cook them. But sometimes....you want pizza. A whole one. *Sigh*
Losing/maintaining weight is not 90%diet and 10%exercise. It is 100% mental, 365/24/7. And it becomes exhausting.
Well said. It'll probably be lost on those who claim it's "easy." You'll be dismissed by those who have never experienced what you are as "pretending it's hard." But it will make a lot of sense to those who are struggling with weight loss and know what it's like to have zero margin for error with their diet and exercise.
Someone who is overweight can be very attractive. Someone who is obese is not attractive to me. I am very active, and I want someone who can keep up with me. Also, I do not want to spend my older years caring for someone who did not take care of themselves. The health problems connected to obesity make it hard to get past it. For me, I would not want someone who smoked, drank to excess, or did anything that hurt their health by choice. Yes, I get that people get cancer, MS, ALS, and many other diseases through no fault of their own; but people who choose to live in ways that are detrimental to their health are not for me.
Well said. It'll probably be lost on those who claim it's "easy." You'll be dismissed by those who have never experienced what you are as "pretending it's hard." But it will make a lot of sense to those who are struggling with weight loss and know what it's like to have zero margin for error with their diet and exercise.
Yeah, you really can't let such people get under your skin, it's par for the course, as long as you know you are doing what you can to get and maintain a healthy life style over all, pay the nay sayers no mind, their minds are set and it's not worth trying to change it. My goal for opening up isn't to seek acceptance, but to offer a look for those interested in hearing about it to those that are genuinely interested in listening with an open mind and some support to others who are struggling with their self esteem issues when it comes to not being that perfect size, whatever that is.
I don't think it's ok to accept being being at a weight or condition that for your body you and your doctor determine is unhealthy for you. At the same time, hating on yourself isn't an answer, expecting others to have love for you isn't either, that love has to come from within. One should always be working toward improvement in whatever way they can. If the numbers on the scale don't budge, doesn't mean give up, still seek a solution to better your health, which is my main concern. Even if I complain, I still do what I need to do for me.
Just don't beat up on yourselves, there will be enough angry people doing that for you, they are not without their own issues, you are just one that they can take their frustrations out on till the next irritant passes their path. Don't worry about everyone's acceptance, it's not going to happen, don't ask for it, really there's nothing worse than begging, but do expect to be treated with human decency from those you interact with and to be love and respected by yourself and those whom have relevance in your life. But over all, if you don't accept you for the person you are, (I don't mean be ok with sitting back accepting sloth or gluttony,) why the heck would anyone else? Do what you can, do the best you are capable of always whether others see that effort or not. As long as you know, that's what counts.
Even when it becomes second nature, it's not second nature (I know, that made no sense). You still have to watch yourself. You have to deal with the resentment that acookieisn'tjustacookieandwhycan'tIeatjustonewhat' swrongwithme. On top of that, you are afraid to skip a workout, because normally that means skipping two, then, three. And then.... wellsinceIhaven'tworkedoutinaweekscrewitI'lljustea ttheentireboxofcookiesbecauseI'veblownitanyway.
Losing/maintaining weight is not 90%diet and 10%exercise. It is 100% mental, 365/24/7. And it becomes exhausting.
One thing I do disagree with, is that healthy food can taste wonderful, if you know how to cook them. But sometimes....you want pizza. A whole one. *Sigh*
So true. I have a extremely slow metabolism. I do tons of exercise and limit myself to 2 meals per day. Thankfully, my weight is down 24 lb from Last June as of today after taking 12 readings on my weight scale and averaging them. Fighting against the need to eat more in winter is the hardest part. Coming from the tropics winter in NJ is cold and miserable thereby forcing me to stay indoors more, but still eat the same amounts. Once spring & summer arrive, my weight drops down naturally because I engage in more outdoor activities like trail runs and hiking. This time however, I spent lots of time in the gym, and fought my desire to eat thereby leading to a drop in weight. Combine Gym work with my usual increase in physical activities when its Hot & Humid outside, and my weight would drop rapidly over the summer leading to the perfectly fit body for a handsome look wearing my fall apparel (Season for mens fashion ). I cant eat a whole pizza BTW. Right now, my stomach chokes to eat more than 4 slices of pizza. As always, soda (Pepsi, coke, fanta, sprite, ect....) makes me vomit (I HATE THE TASTE), Alcohol, Eggs, mushrooms, and meat is prohibited for consumption by religion, and I avoid eating Cheese as much as possible.
But trust me on this one. After seeing your skinny self, one is motivated to maintain such physique.Its by no means easy, and takes a lot of patience. The most important thing here is to advise others its not easy, but well worth the results.
Last edited by Adi from the Brunswicks; 02-14-2014 at 08:23 AM..
I gave no advice, go back and read what I wrote. I'm an addict. I've overcome (for now) addiction. I own it and make no excuses and never have. Don't you dare lecture me, honey.
I sincerely don't understand why so many people appear to be addicted to food and unwilling to exercise and at the same time whine and come up with endless excuses about why they cannot lose weight.
I would think that as an addict, that kind of thinking would make sense to you. Someone in another thread mentioned that, in regards to alcohol, someone without a drinking problem can buy a bottle of vodka and keep it in the freezer for a drink every so often. Someone with an alcohol addiction wonders how they can not just drink the whole bottle. What's the point of having it, then? It's the same sort of thinking with food. Someone without food issues can have a bar of dark chocolate in the pantry and eat one square at a time and be completely satisfied with that, whereas someone struggling with food issues will be compelled to eat the whole bar. People are just wired differently, and it's difficult to get on top of the compulsive thoughts.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 02-14-2014 at 09:01 AM..
Even when it becomes second nature, it's not second nature (I know, that made no sense). You still have to watch yourself. You have to deal with the resentment that acookieisn'tjustacookieandwhycan'tIeatjustonewhat' swrongwithme. On top of that, you are afraid to skip a workout, because normally that means skipping two, then, three. And then.... wellsinceIhaven'tworkedoutinaweekscrewitI'lljustea ttheentireboxofcookiesbecauseI'veblownitanyway.
Losing/maintaining weight is not 90%diet and 10%exercise. It is 100% mental, 365/24/7. And it becomes exhausting.
One thing I do disagree with, is that healthy food can taste wonderful, if you know how to cook them. But sometimes....you want pizza. A whole one. *Sigh*
It's mentally exhausting when you make large groups of food permanently off-limits. It's all about moderation, and being mentally flexible enough to avoid the yo-yo affect that you mentioned. If you want a cookie, then eat a cookie. It's not going to make you blow up like a balloon, it doesn't have enough energy in it to do that. But not allowing yourself to eat it and thereby creating a yo-yo affect wherein you eat an entire box, well that's a different story. Also, when your more mentally flexible you will have more available willpower/control when the truly intense cravings show up (aka, you find yourself on dominos.com about to order a large pizza, a 2 liter, and those delicious little lava cakes).
Our bodies burn a certain amount of energy every day just staying alive, as long as you keep tabs on your overall energy intake vs. what you personally expend/use every day, then spending 200 calories of your daily energy on a couple cookies isn't that big a deal, you just have to keep it in mind. It's all about balance, and it isn't mentally exhausting as long as you don't set it up to be.
Another thing that makes it exhausting is treating weight loss like a race. It's not a race, it's actually better to lose weight over a longer period of time anyway. It's mentally healthier and makes your odds of keeping the weight off go way up.
Someone who is overweight can be very attractive. Someone who is obese is not attractive to me. I am very active, and I want someone who can keep up with me. Also, I do not want to spend my older years caring for someone who did not take care of themselves. The health problems connected to obesity make it hard to get past it. For me, I would not want someone who smoked, drank to excess, or did anything that hurt their health by choice. Yes, I get that people get cancer, MS, ALS, and many other diseases through no fault of their own; but people who choose to live in ways that are detrimental to their health are not for me.
This is an important point, which somehow got lost in the discussion. It is indeed difficult to maintain an "ideal" weight, especially as one ages. But we should distinguish between the struggle to forestall gaining 5 pounds every couple of years, and shooting up to 40-50 or more on the BMI scale. As a man in early-middle-age looking to date women, and who personally attempts to stay physically active, I would be a fool to dismiss women who by some modest amount exceed the culturally-enthroned ideal. But this does not imply that I should "accept" everyone, regardless of the parameters of their appearance.
Well, anyone over a size 16 is unhealthy. You can't convince me. Technically (in some stores), a 12 is plus size; which to me isn't true. We shouldn't accept plus sizes (even though I am one) because it promotes that it's okay to be fat, which is not true.
I know enough size 16 and plus women - athletic women - to know that you haven't a clue about what you're talking about.
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And being morbidly obese is a whole other story. I think once one person reaches class II obesity, then that's where the line should be drawn.
That's where the line should be drawn? What do you mean? What are you gonna do? Kill 'em?
Well it's easy to judge sizes but in reality we should look at BMI. That's a topic that most people are uncomfortable with sharing. For example my BMI is 25% and I thought I was getting fat but the doctor said it's too hard to get to 20% or less unless you want to be an athlete.
Then there are skinny people that are just grease + skin + bones and no muscle mass at all that aren't healthy either.
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). I cant eat a whole pizza BTW. Right now, my stomach chokes to eat more than 4 slices of pizza. As always, soda (Pepsi, coke, fanta, sprite, ect....) makes me vomit (I HATE THE TASTE), Alcohol, Eggs, mushrooms, and meat is prohibited for consumption by religion, and I avoid eating Cheese as much as possible.
