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Old 03-29-2014, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
6,808 posts, read 6,911,868 times
Reputation: 20954

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
Well normal changes with time and place. One day, believe it or not, these norms which seem so set in stone will change. Men wore makeup in Egypt for centuries, I don't think a century or so of convention is really much when you think of it. I'm trying to broaden people's minds and dispel their assumptions/associations. Of course some people are too narrow-minded or ignorant to realise this, acting as if these conventions are as set in stone as the law of gravity.
I don't consider myself narrow minded or ignorant, but I would never be attracted to a man who wears makeup, flowery clothes and conducts himself in a feminine way. It would be a huge turn-off. If you want to feminize yourself, go for it, but I would think your dating pool will be a lot smaller.
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Old 03-29-2014, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,572 posts, read 20,713,088 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath View Post
I don't consider myself narrow minded or ignorant, but I would never be attracted to a man who wears makeup, flowery clothes and conducts himself in a feminine way. It would be a huge turn-off. If you want to feminize yourself, go for it, but I would think your dating pool will be a lot smaller.
I personally don't have a desire too, but what's wrong with a man wanting to be lusted after in the same way a woman does?
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Old 03-29-2014, 07:42 AM
 
105 posts, read 84,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
For instance if there's a thread about men removing body hair, wearing makeup, caring about fashion, about their body in general, many women seem disdainful and judgemental about it.
Yet if a man were disdainful and judgmental about women who take on male characteristics he would likely be considered a misogynist or attempting to hold women back somehow.

I really don't care either way. To each his own. We just should have equal treatment. If we accept and encourage women for taking on male fashion and characteristics, we should accept and encourage men who take on female fashion and characteristics. If we judge and disdain men for it, we should judge and disdain women as well!

Last time I checked, gender equality included men also.
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Old 03-29-2014, 08:19 AM
 
1,458 posts, read 2,650,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
I personally don't have a desire too, but what's wrong with a man wanting to be lusted after in the same way a woman does?
I do lust after men. Frequently and repeatedly.

That lust exists because those men are masculine. I'm wired that way. I was panting after 5 o'clock shadows, wide shoulders and assertiveness when I was 15 and it has only gotten stronger from there.
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Old 03-29-2014, 09:26 AM
 
993 posts, read 1,555,504 times
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I don't mind somewhat feminine faces on a man. That's why I love male models like Robbie Wadge, Jeremy Young, Jamie Lee Conday, Mathias Bergh...to name a few.

And paying too much attention to your appearance doesn't always equate to coming off feminine. Look at a lot of famous basketball players, football players, and rappers. They put a ton of emphasis on their appearance, and no one questions their masculinity.

I think if you're a below-average man, people will search for any reason to make an excuse for labeling you as such. So, they'll use terms like "too feminine", "low self-esteem", etc to justify their feelings, even though it's a combination of factors that make you unappealing.
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Old 03-29-2014, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Temporarily, in Limerick
2,898 posts, read 6,330,289 times
Reputation: 3424
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
For instance if there's a thread about men removing body hair, wearing makeup, caring about fashion, about their body in general, many women seem disdainful and judgemental about it.

I mean ask yourself, who made these things 'feminine' to begin with? Human society did, there's nothing innately feminine about that. In some cultures it is actually men who wear makeup, and in the animal world it's usually males who are the more eye-catching, colourful, 'pretty' gender (think peacocks.etc).
Hiya PM... If one solicits opinions, varying ones aren't necessarily judgmental... they're personal preferences & many will vary. Sometimes people express them harshly, which is not to my liking either, but, one must expect/tolerate this on a public forum. If overly sensitive, the best tactic to take is not to ask & leave oneself vulnerable. It boils down to people being different... always have been, always will be. And, let's not forget... such posts are soliciting the views of strangers.

I'm wondering in which type of community you live, which type of family you were raised or in which circle of friends you revolve, as you read as if you've a good deal of confusion on where you fit. Each person has his/her own idea of femininity/masculinity. Stand 10 men in front of 10 women or vice versa & each will disagree on who is the most desirable. We all have preferences. I've been stunned with co-workers who've told me how gorgeous their new girlfriends were, & they told everyone so at every opportunity, only to finally meet them or see pics of a super incredibly plain Jane girl. To those men, their gf's were gorgeous, which is all that matters. I've had friends with boyfriends & couldn't see how or why they'd ever be attracted to them & have been told a time or 2 in my life that my bf at the time wouldn't be a friend's choice. I've also known what I would consider, very manly women who talked about how feminine they were... I tied not to do this because to me, they were the furthest from femininity I could imagine.

Some of the fashion or grooming choices you listed above are generation, regional and/or based on customs in varying countries. Pretty boy Jared Leto can wear long, highlighted hair, eye liner/shadow, mascara & nail polish in America (I've seen such pics)... in Saudi Arabia, he'd best curtail those fashion choices for his own safety.

Using a peacock as an example of femininity or prettiness is you placing your own judgments on another species. In other words, how do you know why the male peacock struts & prances with vibrant colors? Maybe male peacocks are considered plain in that species & are viewed as carrying on like fools to the females. Let's face it, they're not having long courtships & sticking together in the nest for life. As with many animals, the faster males 'get' the females & can mate. It's not often a long term commitment, amongst many animals, including humans.

Quote:
I think there are too many men who buy into the idea that fashion and appearances and looking beautiful is a female domain. This restricted 1950s view of the world will change one day, everything changes. I guess I feel women here at least seem very conservative in terms of their idea of male beauty. Basically men should be 'men' with the very narrow man-made definition.
The same could be said for men liking the overly-enhanced stripper type girls or Kardashian types with giant back ends as the most desirable, but women don't post those complaint threads here, that I've seen. But, one can't deny that magazines, fashions, TV, movies, news articles cater to such types & many wo/men follow suit in being trained to like such... not all, but many. Others reject such determinations on what they should be, if a woman, or what they should want, if a man. What you've read here about the female ideal of men is a drop in the bucket to our entire western society being lambasted with daily images of what all women should be to suit men. There seems to be more posted on C-D about how women can/should/could look, cutting them down (imo) to determine how thin/fat/curvy/shapely she should be, hiding age by any means necessary & haircolor & makeup do's & don'ts. It's a daily message which permeates society. Women are harshly judged & either given the thumbs up or dismissed by even the most undesirable, unattractive, unpleasant men, everywhere they go, including work.

If being dictated to upsets, confuses, angers or bothers you in any way, opt out. Many of us have. I haven't seen a TV program (save for the times when it's been on at a friend's home or at an airport/bank line) in 25-yrs & haven't read a fashion magazine even longer. I don't live by what mainstream society thinks & never have. My life's goal isn't to be accepted by the majority. Perhaps you need to tune out what others want/expect of you & express/present yourself in whichever way you find true to you. As an example, I've had to dress in what I'd call sophisticated conservative for work. On my time off, I dress in a way I like. I've passed co-workers on weekends, who never recognized me, even though we had eye contact. I'm far more punky/funky than they'd expect in my suit & heels at work.

So, if you need a job in mainstream America as a man, leave your makeup & red flaired trousers at home & dress the part. On your own time, with your own friends & gf/bf, do what makes you happy because those are the types you'd like to attract as friends or dates. Some women like hairy chests on men... I prefer trimmed way down or none. Some women like men in eyeliner & nail polish... I don't. I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm attracted to pretty boy men with a great head of hair, who cares about his appearance in that he's groomed, dressed nicely (even in jeans... basically just not sloppy, baggy sweatpants & floppy tees) & smells great. I like men who take care of their skin... it shows he wants to look attractive for me. If his suit happens to be hipster plaid with a green tie, well, imo, some men can pull that off & look great. Hair products are great... so many men look beautiful with hair wax/mud in their hair. I find a man who likes himself & knows how to look his best to be very attractive & masculine. Skincare, yes... just no eye shadow... please. But, that's just me.

Learn to be comfortable in your own skin & forget what the rugby lads or your tough-guy friends tell you about being a man... I've been hard pressed to find an unattractive bloke in GQ (although I don't see it often enough... the magazine, that is). I love a cleaned up, stylish, great smelling, well groomed lad.

Good luck!
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Old 03-29-2014, 09:34 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,699,940 times
Reputation: 6606
As a man, it creeps me out when another guy is feminine and that is just my opinion. When one sex tries to mimic another it often has some weird intentions behind it. Sure, there are heterosexual metrosexuals, but it still weirds me out, and I think I'm entitled to feel this way.
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Old 03-29-2014, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Utica, NY
1,911 posts, read 3,016,979 times
Reputation: 3241
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7 View Post
As a man, it creeps me out when another guy is feminine and that is just my opinion. When one sex tries to mimic another it often has some weird intentions behind it. Sure, there are heterosexual metrosexuals, but it still weirds me out, and I think I'm entitled to feel this way.
Unless you're taking about crossdresserrs who do it for a fetish (this even creeps me out) then you have to accept that there are no intentions; it's simply hardwired into people
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Old 03-29-2014, 10:43 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,699,940 times
Reputation: 6606
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy1190 View Post
Unless you're taking about crossdresserrs who do it for a fetish (this even creeps me out) then you have to accept that there are no intentions; it's simply hardwired into people
Urban Dictionary: metrosexual
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Old 03-29-2014, 10:55 AM
 
4,475 posts, read 6,665,222 times
Reputation: 6635
Okay so theres all these assumptions about feminine men, wearing flowery dresses, pancaking makeup on like Tammy Faye Baker, and trolling the bars looking for a date. Everyone here is saying ewwww. But what if it wasnt as youre assuming it to be. What if the guy had on a completely neutral outfit consisting of jeans, light color shirt, hair styled nicely, a unisex cologne/perfume/scent, and manicured nails with maybe a neutral color? What if he also acted like a completely normal guy? No flamboyant behavior, no lisp, no hands on the hips type body language...would that still freak you out? I dont know about you guys but if i saw a guy like that id be like damn dude you look pretty snazzy...and im straight. What if the guy youre thinking of wasnt looking for a date? What if you werent looking for a date? What if he was a fellow employee having a drink at the local whatever place having a bite to eat with the gang after work? Would you all be so hung up on how he's dressed?

As far as feminine guys making others uncomfortable heck obese women make me uncomfortable but that doesnt mean im rude to em or anything. I just dont feel attracted to them. Im completely nice to them and everyone else because theyre people just like me. I get the feeling that a lot of people here are still in the dating pool. So nice to be out of that thing.

So its pretty much the group attitude that youd never date a feminine or gender neutral guy, but could you ever just be friends with one?
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