Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 04-26-2014, 08:33 AM
PJA
 
2,460 posts, read 3,153,755 times
Reputation: 1218

Advertisements

And just remember you can't spell sexy without spelling sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-26-2014, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Earth
4,505 posts, read 6,454,285 times
Reputation: 4962
Quote:
whichever age you feel comfortable with your daughter having sex......or a baby.

+1

...That's all that needs be said about tha-at!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 08:54 AM
 
Location: My House
34,935 posts, read 36,062,311 times
Reputation: 26535
Quote:
Originally Posted by pythonis View Post
Well, i dont have kids of my own but i have dealt with kids. The one thing i do know that talking to your kids is completely one sided. You can talk to your kids but kids generally dont want to talk to their parents. Parents dont know anything; theyre old; the advice they give was only useful back in the "old days" not the present. Parents dont understand so why bother telling them or asking them anything?


Also, what if your daughter buys or wants something that she thinks is cute but you see it as sexy? Do you force her to change how she sees things from cute to sexual? Are you in turn ending her innocent/forcing her to grow up?
Mine actually seek me out to have conversations with me.

I listen as well as I talk. I have spent their whole lives working on having good relationships with all three of them. They are 23, 16, and 13. Two sons and a daughter.

My daughter and I already discussed this thread. She was pretty talkative. She's the 13yo. We shop for clothes together, and we tend to agree on what is manufactured to be sexy, and what is cute/pretty. Sure, some guy who sees it may find it sexy. Some guys are really into cotton underwear. But, why would a 13yo need a lacy, string bikini?

I don't want her to be completely innocent anymore. She's growing up. Sometimes her brothers will tell her something looks iffy before she even picks it up. She values their opinions. It's not like we veto everything she likes. We generally agree on clothing. I'm pretty laid back. Sooo. My kid colors her hair blue and pink at 13, and she could pierce her ears again if she wanted (she's fine with one hole in each for now). I let her start wearing makeup slowly over the past couple of years and she knows how to apply it very well. I even let her tweeze her eyebrows. She found a good YouTube video and it turns out she's got a knack for shaping her brows.

She has told me she'd rather not appear to be seeking sex at 13 and she worries over her friends who are so fascinated by it.

Thing about my daughter is that she's exotic looking, and she has a perfect figure, from most young male perspectives. Mine was exactly the same at her age. Everything she wears winds up looking like it might be sexy. I think it helps that I've been in the same boat, so she seeks out and values my thoughts. I listen to her and value her input.

This is what I meant by talking to your kids.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 10:30 AM
 
1,030 posts, read 1,568,774 times
Reputation: 2416
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Mine actually seek me out to have conversations with me.

I listen as well as I talk. I have spent their whole lives working on having good relationships with all three of them. They are 23, 16, and 13. Two sons and a daughter.

My daughter and I already discussed this thread. She was pretty talkative. She's the 13yo. We shop for clothes together, and we tend to agree on what is manufactured to be sexy, and what is cute/pretty. Sure, some guy who sees it may find it sexy. Some guys are really into cotton underwear. But, why would a 13yo need a lacy, string bikini?

I don't want her to be completely innocent anymore. She's growing up. Sometimes her brothers will tell her something looks iffy before she even picks it up. She values their opinions. It's not like we veto everything she likes. We generally agree on clothing. I'm pretty laid back. Sooo. My kid colors her hair blue and pink at 13, and she could pierce her ears again if she wanted (she's fine with one hole in each for now). I let her start wearing makeup slowly over the past couple of years and she knows how to apply it very well. I even let her tweeze her eyebrows. She found a good YouTube video and it turns out she's got a knack for shaping her brows.

She has told me she'd rather not appear to be seeking sex at 13 and she worries over her friends who are so fascinated by it.

Thing about my daughter is that she's exotic looking, and she has a perfect figure, from most young male perspectives. Mine was exactly the same at her age. Everything she wears winds up looking like it might be sexy. I think it helps that I've been in the same boat, so she seeks out and values my thoughts. I listen to her and value her input.

This is what I meant by talking to your kids.
You sound like a great mother How would you feel if she wanted a nose/naval/tongue piercing? As well as those gauge earrings?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 10:43 AM
 
4,475 posts, read 6,653,698 times
Reputation: 6635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin View Post
Mine actually seek me out to have conversations with me.

I listen as well as I talk. I have spent their whole lives working on having good relationships with all three of them. They are 23, 16, and 13. Two sons and a daughter.

My daughter and I already discussed this thread. She was pretty talkative. She's the 13yo. We shop for clothes together, and we tend to agree on what is manufactured to be sexy, and what is cute/pretty. Sure, some guy who sees it may find it sexy. Some guys are really into cotton underwear. But, why would a 13yo need a lacy, string bikini?

I don't want her to be completely innocent anymore. She's growing up. Sometimes her brothers will tell her something looks iffy before she even picks it up. She values their opinions. It's not like we veto everything she likes. We generally agree on clothing. I'm pretty laid back. Sooo. My kid colors her hair blue and pink at 13, and she could pierce her ears again if she wanted (she's fine with one hole in each for now). I let her start wearing makeup slowly over the past couple of years and she knows how to apply it very well. I even let her tweeze her eyebrows. She found a good YouTube video and it turns out she's got a knack for shaping her brows.

She has told me she'd rather not appear to be seeking sex at 13 and she worries over her friends who are so fascinated by it.

Thing about my daughter is that she's exotic looking, and she has a perfect figure, from most young male perspectives. Mine was exactly the same at her age. Everything she wears winds up looking like it might be sexy. I think it helps that I've been in the same boat, so she seeks out and values my thoughts. I listen to her and value her input.

This is what I meant by talking to your kids.
Well youre one of the lucky ones. The kids ive seen just keep to themselves, wont listen, take advice, or anything. They just shrug and say, "ehh whatever" or some such. As my Grams would say "youre just talking to hear your head rattle".

So i totally get what you mean by talking to kids. Just saying not every parent/child has that "bond" like you all do. Not all kids will open up no matter how hard you push or how many times you say "you can talk to me/us about anything".

Now to the question of this thread "when is it appropriate" well i dont know that its ever "appropriate". Perhaps a better question would be "at what age would it not bother you as much?" Also the question of "just how sexy is it" comes to mind. Would it bother me if my kid had a pair of cute lace trim cheekster panties? Probably not. Would it bother me if they owned a bustier with g-string panties, fishnet stockings, and matching garter belt? Uhh yeah.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Encino, CA
686 posts, read 1,225,113 times
Reputation: 990
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeaceAndLove42 View Post
At what age is it appropriate to let girls start wearing "sexy" things?.
Who defines sexy? What is sexy to one person may not be sexy at all to another. Some may find high school cheerleader outfits to be "sexy" so is it appropriate for a 15-16 year old to wear this? Some may think yoga pants are "sexy" because they are form fitting but yet most girls wear these even as young as 12-13 years old.

I would drop my kid off at high school and see girls dresses in "sexy" attire - tight yoga type pants, short shorts, midriff revealing tops, etc. and these are 15 to 17 year olds. Are you talking about things that are meant to be sexy and marketing as sexy items? Or, are you just referring to things that can be viewed by some as being sexy?

As parents, we all will make decisions based on what WE think is right for OUR kids. What other parents do (or choose NOT to do) doesn't concern me. If girls want to wear sexy clothes to high school, and it doesn't violate school dress codes, and their parents are okay with it, I say FINE, its appropriate. MY kid is a different story though.

Once she reaches 18 years old, she is not a "girl" anymore and can make her own decisions as to what clothes she wants to wear. Parent really has no say-so when they reach this age. Though parents may WANT say-so, they shouldn't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 02:13 PM
 
Location: My House
34,935 posts, read 36,062,311 times
Reputation: 26535
Quote:
Originally Posted by pythonis View Post
Well youre one of the lucky ones. The kids ive seen just keep to themselves, wont listen, take advice, or anything. They just shrug and say, "ehh whatever" or some such. As my Grams would say "youre just talking to hear your head rattle".

So i totally get what you mean by talking to kids. Just saying not every parent/child has that "bond" like you all do. Not all kids will open up no matter how hard you push or how many times you say "you can talk to me/us about anything".

Now to the question of this thread "when is it appropriate" well i dont know that its ever "appropriate". Perhaps a better question would be "at what age would it not bother you as much?" Also the question of "just how sexy is it" comes to mind. Would it bother me if my kid had a pair of cute lace trim cheekster panties? Probably not. Would it bother me if they owned a bustier with g-string panties, fishnet stockings, and matching garter belt? Uhh yeah.
Totally in agreement with all you said here.

I have worked harder on my relationships with my kids than any other relationships I've ever had.

It's important. Parenting isn't about playing taxi to run kids from one planned activity or playdate to the next. It's about being present.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 04:55 PM
 
2,183 posts, read 2,624,358 times
Reputation: 3159
For those who think that 12-18 year olds are innocent little children, read through this thread.

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post34540224
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-26-2014, 05:48 PM
 
Location: My House
34,935 posts, read 36,062,311 times
Reputation: 26535
Quote:
Originally Posted by tofur View Post
For those who think that 12-18 year olds are innocent little children, read through this thread.

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post34540224
I don't think anyone in this thread thinks that 12-18yo humans are totally innocent children. I mean, we were all that age at some point.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-13-2014, 08:41 PM
 
919 posts, read 1,681,468 times
Reputation: 665
I didn't go through everything on this thread, but just tp go to OP, Victorias secret does not always mean sexy and that in it of itself is a problem. I am pretty big chested, and have been my entire life, finding good bras at target and walmart was hard for me, so when VS had their semi annual sale I happened to be in the mall with my mom. We went in, I got measured and came out with a full coverage pink bra and a white one with black heart (big mistakes btw, you can see them through everything!), this , in my eyes was not sexy because well, I knew no one was going to see it.

My sister recently started needing bras and she'll pick some with a lace around the edge bc they're cute, not from VS but cute. I think a lot of people don't realize that things are only "sexy" because you are adults. A 12 y.o may see a lace bra that's sheer and think its cute, versus what someone whose older and sexually active might see it as. As far as thongs go, as soon as my kid is old enough to go to the store alone and has their own money I don't care. I remember being 14 and walking to kmart, I would tell my mom I needed money for underwear and she would give it to me, I hated underwear shopping with my mom. At 14 I didn't buy a thong but I did buy, what I thought was cute underwear. At 16 when I started driving, and really working I did buy a thong, but for no reason other than a panty line.

I'm in college now and obviously my intentions when I get dressed in the morning may be a bit different than they were a few years ago, but if and when I buy "sexy" underwear it's like grown up sexy... not lace trim "sexy" as a lot of people think of 12 y.o
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top