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Wow . Well that is not what I would consider high maintenance, that is what I would consider useless and rotten, no wonder he is an ex.
Yes, everyday was like that. Him sleeping in because he went to the casino til 4AM or was just plain drinking. Me, getting up at 7 AM and making DD breakfast, getting her changed,etc. him finally getting up around 10-11 and then smoking, BSing, etc. When I asked for a minute to sit and eat he would say 1 min and then hop in the bathroom and "poop", which was always for an hour +. That meant sit in the bathroom talking and playing games on his phone. Finally when he said he would hang out with her it was time for her nap (go figure...). Then when she woke I would feed her lunch, play with her, while he showered and smoked more. Then I would ask for him to watch her so I could wash my face at least. I would be in the bathroom tops for five min before I heard the door, he was outside smoking and drinking again. She was pawned off to his parents. they would not really watch her and I would find her doing something she wasn't supposed to with no one around and they were too "busy" on the computer. The second they saw her run to me they would shut the door to the computer room and lock it so she couldn't get back in. Then I'm trying to do my makeup as she gets into everything and he's yelling that I am " taking too long".
Mind you I bought a house, but he delayed moving in bc why be on you're own when you can get you're parents to do everything for free. Then he would take out $500 a few times a week and say he "gave it to his parents"... Right. Mind you its all my money I saved, he didn't put a dime towards anything or even work. Then I would always have to go out with him and her because "family time" meant going to the park, store, etc where he drank out of the trunk, smoked, and talked on the phone while I played with her. Then we would come home, I'd feed her again, bathe her, and put her to sleep. Whenever I confronted him he would say "you're her mother that's your job!" No diapers, no baths, etc. but if I forgot to change a diaper and asked him to do anything really it was a huge fight with him screaming I'm a lazy ***** who never does anything and useless. The second she was asleep he'd get angry I wouldn't have sex and call me boring and a loser and go out to the casino, his cousins to smoke weed and drink, or anything else.
If I asked to take a nap, or relax and watch a tv show I was told how I was a horrible mother who my as well leave because he did all the work and adults don't nap in the afternoon. Even if she was up all night and I got no sleep. Same thing. While he would get angry I came downstairs and woke him to get her food because he was sleeping.
I could go on and on. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and he choked me one night and his brother pointed a gun at my daughter telling me to shut up. I left with the clothes on my back, pressed charges and have a PFA. My daughter still gets upset at times and will kiss and hug me saying she "doesn't wanna leave mama bc papa mean and choke her" and then " uncle point gun at my head, shoot in face, no good". She will hug me and say how she will protect me. Since I filed criminal charges he has filed for custody. Saying he was the "primary caretaker" HA. I wanna bang my head against the wall. Literally.
Sorry for hijacking the thread, this is just high maintenance in my experience. It's nice to be able to take a shower by myself and for as long as I want now (even though I have mastered the 3 min shower).
Yes, everyday was like that. Him sleeping in because he went to the casino til 4AM or was just plain drinking. Me, getting up at 7 AM and making DD breakfast, getting her changed,etc. him finally getting up around 10-11 and then smoking, BSing, etc. When I asked for a minute to sit and eat he would say 1 min and then hop in the bathroom and "poop", which was always for an hour +. That meant sit in the bathroom talking and playing games on his phone. Finally when he said he would hang out with her it was time for her nap (go figure...). Then when she woke I would feed her lunch, play with her, while he showered and smoked more. Then I would ask for him to watch her so I could wash my face at least. I would be in the bathroom tops for five min before I heard the door, he was outside smoking and drinking again. She was pawned off to his parents. they would not really watch her and I would find her doing something she wasn't supposed to with no one around and they were too "busy" on the computer. The second they saw her run to me they would shut the door to the computer room and lock it so she couldn't get back in. Then I'm trying to do my makeup as she gets into everything and he's yelling that I am " taking too long".
Mind you I bought a house, but he delayed moving in bc why be on you're own when you can get you're parents to do everything for free. Then he would take out $500 a few times a week and say he "gave it to his parents"... Right. Mind you its all my money I saved, he didn't put a dime towards anything or even work. Then I would always have to go out with him and her because "family time" meant going to the park, store, etc where he drank out of the trunk, smoked, and talked on the phone while I played with her. Then we would come home, I'd feed her again, bathe her, and put her to sleep. Whenever I confronted him he would say "you're her mother that's your job!" No diapers, no baths, etc. but if I forgot to change a diaper and asked him to do anything really it was a huge fight with him screaming I'm a lazy ***** who never does anything and useless. The second she was asleep he'd get angry I wouldn't have sex and call me boring and a loser and go out to the casino, his cousins to smoke weed and drink, or anything else.
If I asked to take a nap, or relax and watch a tv show I was told how I was a horrible mother who my as well leave because he did all the work and adults don't nap in the afternoon. Even if she was up all night and I got no sleep. Same thing. While he would get angry I came downstairs and woke him to get her food because he was sleeping.
I could go on and on. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and he choked me one night and his brother pointed a gun at my daughter telling me to shut up. I left with the clothes on my back, pressed charges and have a PFA. My daughter still gets upset at times and will kiss and hug me saying she "doesn't wanna leave mama bc papa mean and choke her" and then " uncle point gun at my head, shoot in face, no good". She will hug me and say how she will protect me. Since I filed criminal charges he has filed for custody. Saying he was the "primary caretaker" HA. I wanna bang my head against the wall. Literally.
Sorry for hijacking the thread, this is just high maintenance in my experience. It's nice to be able to take a shower by myself and for as long as I want now (even though I have mastered the 3 min shower).
I didn't mind you telling your story, I will admit it is not what I was looking for in the label of high maintenance but I certainly respect your view completely. I hate to see women get hooked up with men like that and I don't understand how or why it happens but it is a good thing that it is over.
Folks what is your definition of a high maintenance person. I say person because believe it or not women are not the only ones who can be high maintenance. Men can be the same way. Personally I don't think being high maintenance is necessarily a bad thing but I want to hear your opinions. I want to contribute along the way but I am famous for long posts and I don't want this one to be one of them.
My other half is high maintenance. A tiny hair in the back of his head can be out of place but only visible to him and he will agonize for hours.
Spends more on hair products in one month than I do all year.
His outward appearance has to be impeccable, but sadly, he is a slob - lol.
We are opposites. I like my surroundings to be neat and orderly. Myself, as long as I am clean, clothes are clean and not old and grungy and my toenails are done, lipstick, mascara - I am good to go.
If the person looks like a homeless shelter dropout before starting the maintenance procedures, and can go to pagan contest after finishing, then it's high maintenance!
I promised I would contribute along the way. As I said in the op, I don't necessarily see being high maintenance as being a bad thing, I think it is how a person goes about doing it. To me a person can be high maintenance and it is ok as long as he or she can afford it and nobody is getting hurt in the process. A woman who makes the extra effort to look good and dress well is a woman who I find interesting. I saw a young woman today at the bank who was obviously European, she had a nice italian purse with matching sunglasses and a nice outfit. I would say that she is probably at least somewhat high maintenance but she looked amazing, as a man I would be proud to be seen in public with her. Of course as I said earlier it is about how to go about it. I see no problem with a woman getting her hair and nails done regularly and buying nice clothes
and accesories and going to spas and doing all those things. As long as it is not interfering with her life and affecting those around her I see nothing wrong. The same goes for men.
If you called someone high maintenance to their face many would not see that as a positive comment.
To me there is a difference in a person taking care of themselves and putting effort into their appearance and being high maintenance.
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they would not really watch her and I would find her doing something she wasn't supposed to with no one around and they were too "busy" on the computer. The second they saw her run to me they would shut the door to the computer room and lock it so she couldn't get back in. Then I'm trying to do my makeup as she gets into everything and he's yelling that I am " taking too long".
