Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Where in the world did you ever get the idea you look "fat"? If somebody told you that you look fat, they told you wrong. You don't look fat, not in the least little bit. You don't even look chubby, or plump, or even slightly over weight. You look height/weight proportionate, the way you are suppose to look.
I guarantee you right now, when a stranger sees you walking down the street, that stranger is not thinking to his or her self, "boy, that man sure is fat".
Where in the world did you ever get the idea you look "fat"? If somebody told you that you look fat, they told you wrong. You don't look fat, not in the least little bit. You don't even look chubby, or plump, or even slightly over weight. You look height/weight proportionate, the way you are suppose to look.
I guarantee you right now, when a stranger sees you walking down the street, that stranger is not thinking to his or her self, "boy, that man sure is fat".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kay Effzee
Fat is of major concern to the OP as has been evidenced in many other threads. You looked great Adi, what's next for you?
=) He wanted to show off what a great job he has done with his weight loss!
Fat is of major concern to the OP as has been evidenced in many other threads. You looked great Adi, what's next for you?
Grad school, which I am preparing for now. So much stuff to keep track of, but I am in hope it will help brighten my future job prospects. I wasn't able to secure a job with an undergraduate degree in Engineering , and so decided to take my talents into R & D at grad school.
My hearts hope is to work for an aerospace company (Lockheed, Boeing, P&W, Sikorsky, and many more) in a few years. Really hoping it happens one day. I loved airplanes from the time I was a little child and was always really interested in their design.
I want your honest opinion on this one. Do these clothes make me look fat. I wore this ensemble for my graduation ceremony, and really hope I did not look silly in the School of Engineering yearbook of high achievers. FYI, I smiled in the Yearbook photo.
Adi, WHY in the world do you worry so much about physical appearance that you are constantly posting threads about physical appearance on City-Data? This is not the first time I've seen a picture of you in a thread here, for the purpose of getting critiques from strangers!
You are 21 years old and I'm sure that you weren't raised for those 21 years in a bubble, a hole, or a cave. Thus, you have probably seen A LOT of people. You live in New Jersey, for goodness sakes. Surely you've been to the shore... where you will see A LOT of people of all different shapes and sizes wearing next to nothing.
Have you not determined by now that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and being society's idea of beautiful is not in any way a deterministic factor for your lifelong happiness in love?
My wife is so many standard deviations away from society's definition of beautiful that she gets comments from strangers almost everywhere she goes, and in her younger years when she did actually score dates off of the Internet, more than once she was ditched immediately upon the first meet-up when the guy was like "no freaking way!!".
Yet she got married, to a guy who thinks she's the most beautiful woman alive.
Shall I keep going? I don't know many happy couples but one that does stick out in my mind is a couple where the guy is a relatively clean-cut 33-year-old who looks "normal" except for missing many of his teeth due to what he said was an infection he contracted as a teenager. His wife is 37 years old and she is: VERY fat, significantly taller than he is (when she's not in her wheelchair), mostly wheelchair-bound for some reason that I don't know right now, and presently being oxygenated through a tracheostomy device. She's a resident at one of the nursing homes where my wife and I entertain, and he works there. I don't know what her health problems are but you'd look at her, by herself, and think "that poor lady doesn't have a chance at love". Yet, to see her with her husband (of almost 5 years), they're extremely cute together. They request to have us play songs that are significant to their relationship and marriage, they're always holding hands, they make jokes with each other constantly as we do our funnier songs, etc.
What in the heck does it matter if those clothes make you look fat? Not every girl wants a thin guy. You won't accomplish anything by obsessing about your weight and appearance other than raising your stress level. I haven't read the posts on this thread but I guarantee you that some people will say that the clothes don't make you look fat, some people will say you should lose a few pounds, and you might get the occasional person who says the extremes - either that you look awesome in that outfit or you look terrible in that outfit. There is not going to be a consensus of opinion that carries any useful meaning for you.
To illustrate, let's say that someone arranged to get 100 single women together. Each of them is an excellent personality match for you and each is of an appearance type such that you would find her to be stunningly gorgeous. Of those 100 women, 99 think you're ugly and one thinks you're gorgeous (and naturally wants to date you, because, you know, single, and a great personality match for you). So would it matter that the other 99 thought you were ugly? You got ONE who'd blow up your picture and sticky-tack it to the wall in her bedroom. One is all you need. Thus, the consensus of opinion, the 99%, doesn't matter at all.
I have a set of suggestions for you. Implement every one of them completely and entirely, regardless of how much effort it takes you in the beginning, and then get back to me in a month to tell me how you're feeling.
1. View yourself as being as attractive as anyone else out there, such that no other man is more attractive than you. (This is logical because to some woman, you're the best-looking dude in existence... whether she has seen you yet or not.)
2. View other men as being as empirically handsome as anyone else out there, regardless of your personal feeling about their appearances. (This is logical because to some woman, each of them is the best-looking dude in existence... and you don't have any reason to be attracted to those dudes.)
3. View all women as being as empirically beautiful as any other woman, regardless of your personal feeling about their appearances. The 350-pound girl in a two-piece at Belmar beach? Beautiful to someone, even if not you. The 4'6" girl you see around town occasionally? Beautiful to someone, even if not you. The cashier at Wal-Mart who looks as average as can be? Beautiful to someone, even if not you.
4. The most important one - LOOK THE WAY YOU WANT TO LOOK, regardless of what you think anyone else will say about it. (When I first met she who became my wife, I was ~20 pounds overweight, all messy from having cleaned and done work all day, wearing a ratty T-shirt and jeans, with hair down to my shoulders and a couple days' growth of beard. I was COMFORTABLE. The way I saw it was that that's how I look when I'm comfortable and if a woman can't like me that way, I won't want to spend the rest of my days with her. I'm sure as heck not shaving every day, cutting my hair short, dressing fancy, and eschewing all forms of dirt just to appease my wife.)
Adi, WHY in the world do you worry so much about physical appearance that you are constantly posting threads about physical appearance on City-Data? This is not the first time I've seen a picture of you in a thread here, for the purpose of getting critiques from strangers!
You are 21 years old and I'm sure that you weren't raised for those 21 years in a bubble, a hole, or a cave. Thus, you have probably seen A LOT of people. You live in New Jersey, for goodness sakes. Surely you've been to the shore... where you will see A LOT of people of all different shapes and sizes wearing next to nothing.
Have you not determined by now that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and being society's idea of beautiful is not in any way a deterministic factor for your lifelong happiness in love?
My wife is so many standard deviations away from society's definition of beautiful that she gets comments from strangers almost everywhere she goes, and in her younger years when she did actually score dates off of the Internet, more than once she was ditched immediately upon the first meet-up when the guy was like "no freaking way!!".
Yet she got married, to a guy who thinks she's the most beautiful woman alive.
Shall I keep going?
No, this is enough to power your message through.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RomaniGypsy
I don't know many happy couples but one that does stick out in my mind is a couple where the guy is a relatively clean-cut 33-year-old who looks "normal" except for missing many of his teeth due to what he said was an infection he contracted as a teenager. His wife is 37 years old and she is: VERY fat, significantly taller than he is (when she's not in her wheelchair), mostly wheelchair-bound for some reason that I don't know right now, and presently being oxygenated through a tracheostomy device. She's a resident at one of the nursing homes where my wife and I entertain, and he works there. I don't know what her health problems are but you'd look at her, by herself, and think "that poor lady doesn't have a chance at love". Yet, to see her with her husband (of almost 5 years), they're extremely cute together. They request to have us play songs that are significant to their relationship and marriage, they're always holding hands, they make jokes with each other constantly as we do our funnier songs, etc.
What in the heck does it matter if those clothes make you look fat? Not every girl wants a thin guy. You won't accomplish anything by obsessing about your weight and appearance other than raising your stress level. I haven't read the posts on this thread but I guarantee you that some people will say that the clothes don't make you look fat, some people will say you should lose a few pounds, and you might get the occasional person who says the extremes - either that you look awesome in that outfit or you look terrible in that outfit. There is not going to be a consensus of opinion that carries any useful meaning for you.
To illustrate, let's say that someone arranged to get 100 single women together. Each of them is an excellent personality match for you and each is of an appearance type such that you would find her to be stunningly gorgeous. Of those 100 women, 99 think you're ugly and one thinks you're gorgeous (and naturally wants to date you, because, you know, single, and a great personality match for you). So would it matter that the other 99 thought you were ugly? You got ONE who'd blow up your picture and sticky-tack it to the wall in her bedroom. One is all you need. Thus, the consensus of opinion, the 99%, doesn't matter at all.
I have a set of suggestions for you. Implement every one of them completely and entirely, regardless of how much effort it takes you in the beginning, and then get back to me in a month to tell me how you're feeling.
1. View yourself as being as attractive as anyone else out there, such that no other man is more attractive than you. (This is logical because to some woman, you're the best-looking dude in existence... whether she has seen you yet or not.)
2. View other men as being as empirically handsome as anyone else out there, regardless of your personal feeling about their appearances. (This is logical because to some woman, each of them is the best-looking dude in existence... and you don't have any reason to be attracted to those dudes.)
3. View all women as being as empirically beautiful as any other woman, regardless of your personal feeling about their appearances. The 350-pound girl in a two-piece at Belmar beach? Beautiful to someone, even if not you. The 4'6" girl you see around town occasionally? Beautiful to someone, even if not you. The cashier at Wal-Mart who looks as average as can be? Beautiful to someone, even if not you.
4. The most important one - LOOK THE WAY YOU WANT TO LOOK, regardless of what you think anyone else will say about it. (When I first met she who became my wife, I was ~20 pounds overweight, all messy from having cleaned and done work all day, wearing a ratty T-shirt and jeans, with hair down to my shoulders and a couple days' growth of beard. I was COMFORTABLE. The way I saw it was that that's how I look when I'm comfortable and if a woman can't like me that way, I won't want to spend the rest of my days with her. I'm sure as heck not shaving every day, cutting my hair short, dressing fancy, and eschewing all forms of dirt just to appease my wife.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, and so decided to take my talents into R & D at grad school.
