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The truth is that in some ways, women can't win...look too youthful, and you are "not respected," because you appear to lack experience. But when you hit the turning point and look "matronly," you are not taken seriously because you do not look youthful enough, the assumption is that your thoughts and ideas are outmoded, etc. There's a narrow window.
It's not about hair length. Midback length hair can be styled into corporate-friendly chignons, buns, twists, a French braid with the end pinned under...there are many ways to style longer hair conservatively, more so than with relatively non-versatile shorter cuts, really. Groom longer hair appropriately for the setting,and boom, voila, appropriate, polished demeanor.
But odds are, people like a supervisor who tells you you'd be taken more seriously if you cut your hair will just move on to other things to nitpick about. It's a culture thing.
I agree. He'll find something else. It's not the hair.
Would it help if the OP was open to new styling options? Perhaps it would with her colleagues. The boss? It's a wash.
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...in which case, something as simple as different grooming/styling would fit the bill...wearing the hair in a shorter cut is not necessary to create a more professional demeanor. Yet, the OP was told to cut her hair.
The part about being told to cut it struck me as odd. Suggesting she try a new style would sound like better advice.
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The part about being told to cut it struck me as odd. Suggesting she try a new style would sound like better advice.
Honestly, I can't help but question the veracity of the OP's original post. Stranger things happen, but I do have trouble comprehending how someone with a career in HR and who is now a HR manager would let a comment like that slide by. It's just not professional or appropriate unless there is a specific provision in the company dress code that addresses hair styling.
If it did indeed happen as stated, and it wasn't addressed then and there, then I am inclined to wonder if that doesn't speak more of the problem at hand than long hair that needs cutting.
This just isn't true. While there are definitely cultural issues at the root of the hair issue - long, free hair is definitely associated with youth and sexiness, and therefore not with professionalism and intelligence - that's not really the issue here. There is a standard of professional appearance that means looking polished and sleek and not sloppy. That applies to men as well as women, although there is certainly more leeway for men than women. But sloppy is sloppy, and the OP is not styling her hair in a shiny chignon - I'm guessing it's dry and frayed or limp and scraggly and in an outdated style, and so long that it just looks strange on anyone over 10.
I was going to respond to the various uses of the word "sexist" in this thread, but that line "there is certainly more leeway for men than women" really struck me as totally outrageous! In a business setting, it's men and not women who have to present a near-uniform appearance--this topic would hardly get any discussion if it were a man with "long hair" being told to wear it shorter. And it wouldn't have to be hanging down his back to be called "too long" either. It seems to me that subjects like this tend to relate to women's appearance because men have very little freedom, and there's so little chafing against the restrictions that it simply isn't an issue we're used to hearing about.
As I said in the "man bun" thread, I wonder if we have a fear that male energy needs to be constrained by making men wear dull confining clothing and short hair, as a promise that these men are going to be part of the team and not running around looting and pillaging and generally interfering with business. But let a woman be told that there's a limit to her freedom, and we sure hear about "sexism"!
My wife has been an executive for decades, and as long as I have known her she has been mentoring female co-workers and employees on how to present a professional appearance. She even takes them shopping for business clothes. If the woman is a poor entry level worker, she will take her to thrift stores. One of her pet peeves is women who come to work "looking like an unmade bed."
Hair length is not a problem. Just wear it up. However, you need to present a professional image if you want to be taken seriously. For a woman, that's the whole package - clothes, makeup, jewelry, hair and aroma. That last is important too. If you are a smoker, don't be one of those women nobody wants to get into an elevator with.
Forget the arrogant twits who think your manager was out of line. His comment is a clue that you should evaluate your whole professional image. Expecting to be judged on the beauty of your inner self is infantile.
I was going to respond to the various uses of the word "sexist" in this thread, but that line "there is certainly more leeway for men than women" really struck me as totally outrageous! In a business setting, it's men and not women who have to present a near-uniform appearance--this topic would hardly get any discussion if it were a man with "long hair" being told to wear it shorter. And it wouldn't have to be hanging down his back to be called "too long" either. It seems to me that subjects like this tend to relate to women's appearance because men have very little freedom, and there's so little chafing against the restrictions that it simply isn't an issue we're used to hearing about.
As I said in the "man bun" thread, I wonder if we have a fear that male energy needs to be constrained by making men wear dull confining clothing and short hair, as a promise that these men are going to be part of the team and not running around looting and pillaging and generally interfering with business. But let a woman be told that there's a limit to her freedom, and we sure hear about "sexism"!
I envy men the ability to have a 'uniform' for work with dress shirts and pants. As a woman in a professional environment (I'm out of it now and don't miss it at all), it's utterly tiresome to have to deal with the expectation of wearing seasonal and 'in style' and also appropriate for the workplace clothing, and even when you mix and match outfits, to not be wearing the same outfit all the time.
Men can rotate the same dress pants and shirts and no one notices or cares, but people notice what women wear and women are, for lack of a better word, trained to expect that people will notice what they wear and how they look. A man can look smart and wear 10 different dress shirts and 5 different pairs of pants over the course of two weeks, but someone (and honestly, it's usually other women) will notice when a woman wore the same skirt on Friday that she's now wearing the next Tuesday.
Forget the arrogant twits who think your manager was out of line. His comment is a clue that you should evaluate your whole professional image. Expecting to be judged on the beauty of your inner self is infantile.
Being judged on the quality of your work vs. the length of your hair, though, should be a given.
The manager, as far as we know, did not comment on her hair being unkempt, dirty, poorly groomed, messy, or anything else. The comment was regarding the length alone.
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