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Old 12-30-2014, 01:10 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
There is a double standard for women as far as what the world demands. On the one hand, no one takes a pretty woman seriously. Beautiful women tend to be dehumanized, objectified, and thought of as stupid. Just look at all the jokes about models and their lack of intelligence, the blond ditz stereotype, etc.

On the other hand, an ugly woman, while she is more likely to be taken seriously and thought of as smart, .
You've got this backwards. Attractive women (attractive people in general) are assumed to be intelligent. The more beautiful the woman , the more men hang on her words as if they were pearls of wisdom. Plain women (plain people in general) are taken to be not very intelligent. This has been demonstrated in studies. The exception to some degree is blondes, where the "dumb blonde" stereotype may come into play, though not always. Women who are plain, or "cute" with a child-like face, have a difficult time in a business context, and are not taken seriously, or assumed to be air-headed.
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Old 12-30-2014, 08:25 PM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,219,271 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
You've got this backwards. Attractive women (attractive people in general) are assumed to be intelligent. The more beautiful the woman , the more men hang on her words as if they were pearls of wisdom. Plain women (plain people in general) are taken to be not very intelligent. This has been demonstrated in studies. The exception to some degree is blondes, where the "dumb blonde" stereotype may come into play, though not always. Women who are plain, or "cute" with a child-like face, have a difficult time in a business context, and are not taken seriously, or assumed to be air-headed.
Actually both can happen, because for most normal intelligent people, the judgements are not made based on the woman's physical attractiveness alone, as in her god-given features. It's really about the image you present, which is what I'm trying to argue here. An attractive woman that is put together, looks neat and polished, dresses appropriately and not overly sexy or revealing, uses makeup etc appropriately without overdoing it, and most importantly sounds intelligent, has educated speech, a friendly professional demeanor and pleasant attitude will have most people form positive opinions about her. All the same applies to a woman who may be naturally unattractive, overweight, whatever, but who still takes care to put some effort into her appearance and project the same put-together professional image.

On the other hand, a gorgeous woman who dresses like an oversexed barbie at work, acts like a ditz, giggles stupidly and says 'um yea like' as her every second word, will certainly have people think of her as a bimbo. I know a girl that's far from stupid, she's got a nursing degree but hasn't been able to find work for a long time. She is cute and blonde but she dresses and does her makeup and hair like she's going out clubbing every single day - I'm talking tons of cleavage, full-on war paint, thick fake eyelashes, glitter, big teased hair, the works. I can completely see how that's a turn off for the nursing profession. Now, if she toned it down, a lot, to an appropriate level, I'm sure she'd have no issue getting a job.
At the same time a plain, unattractive, overweight woman who comes in wearing drab shapeless clothes, with messy limp hair, bad skin with no makeup looking like she just rolled out of bed will likely be considered unprofessional and slovenly. The unconscious thought process is, if she doesn't bother with something as basic as taking care of herself, how good at her job will she be?
All sorts of types in between these extremes will mostly depend on factors others than appearance, like actual professionalism, attitude, way of speaking, intelligent speech, sense of humor, etc etc. But yes, some extremes in appearance will play a role in people's initial opinion of you, this is just basic human nature that you can't change.
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Old 12-31-2014, 04:33 AM
 
95 posts, read 101,410 times
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I always thought that its what is on the inside that counts. your morals and values. do you kick the cat when you walk by or pet the cat.

I notice that 10s go with 10s 5s go with 5s and 1s go with 1s again its not what someone looks like. a beautiful or handsome person can have the worst morals and values and the average looking person can have great personalities and morals and values.

if we were all blind how then would you rate ones looks? you wouldn't!
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Old 12-31-2014, 05:26 AM
 
4,030 posts, read 2,109,114 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sutton08865 View Post
I always thought that its what is on the inside that counts. your morals and values. do you kick the cat when you walk by or pet the cat.

I notice that 10s go with 10s 5s go with 5s and 1s go with 1s again its not what someone looks like. a beautiful or handsome person can have the worst morals and values and the average looking person can have great personalities and morals and values.

if we were all blind how then would you rate ones looks? you wouldn't!
Actually, it does seem that even blind people want to be with attractive people! For example, Ray Charles wanted to be with beautiful women, even though he couldn't see them---guess he liked the prestige factor of knowing he was with a 10!
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Old 12-31-2014, 12:26 PM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,219,271 times
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By the way, there's no less expectation for men to look put together too, if they want to make a good impression in the workplace and attract women. In fact it may be even harder in some ways because they don't have nearly as many tools available to them as women for concealing bad skin, hair etc. If you have two job interview candidates, one shows up looking like he just crawled out of the basement in stretched out sweats, scraggly beard, acne and greasy hair, and another comes in looking sharp, clean-shaven and well-dressed, who do you think will get the job even if the basement guy is brilliant? It's just basic human nature, as much as we may want to be judged solely for our insides and nothing else, it's not going to happen.

Appearances are important, they're the first thing people see before they've had the chance to speak to you or know you and the brilliant wonderful person you are. And very often, they do prove to be true. If you have a person looking and talking like trailer trash or like they stepped off the pages of the People of Walmart or the cast of Jersey Shore, they're not likely to turn out to be Nobel Prize winners from a family of academics. Likewise if you look at your typical well-dressed, polished, well-spoken person, they're not likely to hail from the dukes of hazzard family - and I'm not talking about people like Kardashians, there's trash at every income level. Most of us will say that Audrey Hepburn or Kate Middleton are intrinsically different from a Kardashian or a Hilton sister - even though we don't 'personally' know either of them on any personal or professional level, all we judge on is the image they present.
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Old 01-01-2015, 10:21 AM
 
3,549 posts, read 5,364,619 times
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In some industries women must be beautiful, not too differently from men.

Business? Sports? Looks don't matter like stats do.

Sales, promotional? Helps to be attractive. Heck, often it doesn't even have to be "hot" just well kept and in shape would be enough for many women (and men) yet that's often too much to ask.

Just looking well kept and presentable would really be enough for most women. Some women can't do that, and then complain why they think it works against them for whatever reason.
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Old 01-01-2015, 11:26 AM
 
4,366 posts, read 4,565,059 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
In some industries women must be beautiful, not too differently from men.

Business? Sports? Looks don't matter like stats do.

Sales, promotional? Helps to be attractive. Heck, often it doesn't even have to be "hot" just well kept and in shape would be enough for many women (and men) yet that's often too much to ask.

Just looking well kept and presentable would really be enough for most women. Some women can't do that, and then complain why they think it works against them for whatever reason.
I fall into this category; I just don't have a good concept of what looks presentable and what is expected. Now, I don't go to work in pajamas or anything, but I feel like the overall image I present kind of makes it not matter if I did, and this happens regardless of what I try. The only exception is if I just spend hours on my appearance and justify any negative feelings I have afterwards by reminding myself how much time and effort I put into it. To me, though, I don't look a lot different than when I started, sometimes.

People think of me as highly intelligent and very quirky, but sometimes they expect more than I can deliver...

Last edited by krmb; 01-01-2015 at 11:36 AM..
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Old 01-01-2015, 11:50 AM
 
18,345 posts, read 18,963,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmb501 View Post
I fall into this category; I just don't have a good concept of what looks presentable and what is expected. Now, I don't go to work in pajamas or anything, but I feel like the overall image I present kind of makes it not matter if I did, and this happens regardless of what I try. The only exception is if I just spend hours on my appearance and justify any negative feelings I have afterwards by reminding myself how much time and effort I put into it. To me, though, I don't look a lot different than when I started, sometimes.

People think of me as highly intelligent and very quirky, but sometimes they expect more than I can deliver...

don't have a good concept of what looks good. all you have to do is watch a few episodes of "what not to wear" figure out what your body type is and what looks best on it. go to a make up professional and learn how to put on a bit of make up. it doesn't have to be a huge amount and should take less than 5 mins. or so. a great hair cut that suits your hair type and face shape. also an easy fix
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Old 01-01-2015, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,784,942 times
Reputation: 28561
^^^ The advice above is good.

I do not wear much makeup, mostly on special occasions. I find, that it is better to focus on skin care. It is probably by circumstance, as makeup in my skin tone is pretty limited anyway. You might find it sufficient to stick with one or two things. For me, that means gloss, occasional mascara and a highlighter blended with my moisturizer for a little boost.

Wear stuff that fits and compliments your shape. Pay attention to the details, and usually that is enough.

* The details? Iron when needed and do not wear ratty shoes with a nice outfit.
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Old 01-01-2015, 12:32 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 7,224,411 times
Reputation: 11987
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mojave82 View Post
Oprah and Venus are ugly. Hillary was far from a bombshell in college, she is/was ugly. Adele is far from ugly.

But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
'
Hilary was CUTE as a button, but her Incredible Intellect won Bill Clinton over every other dolly bird.

I wouldn't have minded catching a Young Bill Clinton, myself. Or indeed an Old Bill Clinton.

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

I see many individuals allegedly "beautiful" who I think are totally unattractive due to what occurs when they open their mouths.

Pretty on the OUTSIDE.
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