Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Strange title which I am known for. LOL. I have a 19 year old daughter who is in college. I gave her the clothes, told her how to wear them BUT she has her own style she says. I am all for creativity, artsy but she doesn't know how to put things together to make a complete outfit and she won't listen to me in general and gets mad at me for trying to help her. I understand her frustration too, she has grown into a lovely young woman, she though wants that independence and wants to try herself BUT as her mom I see the things she is trying to do and it just isn't working for her.
I found a picture of her at her sorority christmas party and she is wearing a huge rhinestone silver necklace with a pair of mismatched bronzed earrings, in a dress that she did not pair her shoes or jacket ( she has a beautiful wool dress coat and wore a suede jacket for jeans) well with. She comes home in black knit pants with a shirt that comes down to her waist and her booty is showing, legwarmers, tennis shoes and a mismatched teal cowboy handkerchief on her forehead. When we went to a football game, we were all in the school colors ready, she came down in colors that are not game colors. She didn't understand that you should wear the colors to support your team. It took me to tell her after about half the games had been played. Then she started wearing the team colors. .... so here I am.. asking.. what would be a great gift to a college girl away from home? What type of class she can go too or a consultant that sits and helps people know how to work their wardrobe? Something that can show her how to match and color contrast. I think it would be non threatening, her getting knowledge and fun to go to a class like that. She is all for learning and if it involves fashion, yes she would like it.
Ions ago I remember BeautiControl doing personal profiles but I bet they don't anymore.
Frustrated Mom
Last edited by Vintage Life; 12-10-2014 at 11:27 AM..
Your daughter may just be developing her own sense of style that's different from yours. It sounds like you made lots of clothing choices for her when she was growing up and she may not have ever really had to choose her own outfits until she went away to school.
Let her use this time to figure out her style on her own. Don't undermine her by saying she needs a class. When she graduates, if she's still having trouble finding her style, then taking some sort of class on style before she enters the workforce might be useful.
Your daughter sounds like she has an awesome sense of style and fashion. At her age, and even now, I loved to mix and match colors that my mom often thought looked crazy. It was fun. Let her have fun. Let her do her own thing and shape her own style. Stop trying to put her in a box.
I would not classify this as a undermining when she loves diy and how to videos on many things, including making her own makeup( love it) . She is always looking at tutorials on makeup and how to braid hair. I would not give her a gift that would hurt her, only something that she would have fun doing, leaving her feel confident.
Infact the last paragraph you wrote is exactly why I want her to take some sort of course. It would help her with interviews, job related and special occasions. I want her to have her own style, no my style at all.
I was like that too and my mom got me a personal image profile from Beauticontrol and it helped me. I started putting things together, it showed what my fashion personality was and my body type. My mom's gift gave me some valuable tools, to help me and I in turn want to do the same. I know that the company out there doesn't do that anymore, that is why I came on here, to see if there is something similar.
Your daughter may just be developing her own sense of style that's different from yours. It sounds like you made lots of clothing choices for her when she was growing up and she may not have ever really had to choose her own outfits until she went away to school.
Let her use this time to figure out her style on her own. Don't undermine her by saying she needs a class. When she graduates, if she's still having trouble finding her style, then taking some sort of class on style before she enters the workforce might be useful.
Strange title which I am known for. LOL. I have a 19 year old daughter who is in college. I gave her the clothes, told her how to wear them BUT she has her own style she says. I am all for creativity, artsy but she doesn't know how to put things together to make a complete outfit and she won't listen to me in general and gets mad at me for trying to help her. I understand her frustration too, she has grown into a lovely young woman, she though wants that independence and wants to try herself BUT as her mom I see the things she is trying to do and it just isn't working for her.
I found a picture of her at her sorority christmas party and she is wearing a huge rhinestone silver necklace with a pair of mismatched bronzed earrings, in a dress that she did not pair her shoes or jacket ( she has a beautiful wool dress coat and wore a suede jacket for jeans) well with. She comes home in black knit pants with a shirt that comes down to her waist and her booty is showing, legwarmers, tennis shoes and a mismatched teal cowboy handkerchief on her forehead. When we went to a football game, we were all in the school colors ready, she came down in colors that are not game colors. She didn't understand that you should wear the colors to support your team. It took me to tell her after about half the games had been played. Then she started wearing the team colors. .... so here I am.. asking.. what would be a great gift to a college girl away from home? What type of class she can go too or a consultant that sits and helps people know how to work their wardrobe? Something that can show her how to match and color contrast. I think it would be non threatening, her getting knowledge and fun to go to a class like that. She is all for learning and if it involves fashion, yes she would like it.
Ions ago I remember BeautiControl doing personal profiles but I bet they don't anymore.
Frustrated Mom
Are you serious?
I'm a 37 year old fashionable woman and I have to say I am disappointed to read such a post.
Your daughter is a developing human being. She is learning her way in this world. It sounds like instead of "fashion classes" you need an attitude adjustment. I'm not meaning to be rude but it is disappointing to learn that a mother literally doesn't accept her daughter. If you did, this wouldn't be an issue.
Look, life will show her. It will. Let a gf tell her. Or a boyfriend. Or let her not get a job because of how she is dressed. I find it really unfair that you are trying to "gift" her the skill of style. It is something you are born with - it cannot be bought.
But since you asked...
The most I would do is purchase a substantial gift card from a store in which you feel has acceptable clothing and gift that to her. Or I would offer to take her shopping. At that point...back off.
I am so embarrassed right now,red faced. I am so sorry that I even wrote that. You can not see me or my face, nor how I express things when I say them. My world are my children. I am nearly 50 years old and have been married for 25 years and think this is a good age gap, don't you remember the Color Me Beautiful and Beauticontrol drapings? Or the fashion profiles, my mom and I both got one. It was all the rage in the 80's and fun to do. They told you what your style was and how to accessorize, even what body type you were and what were the right fits for clothes. I wanted to do something together or do a personal profile. If you read my post you will see my own mother did the same thing with me 25 years ago and it was fun. It is frustrating as a mom to see her baby go off and you don't say a word because you don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't say a thing. She actually has had bad criticism in the past and told that she was not good enough and it took everything for me to build her up. She never went to a public school so t shirts were ok around the house. No she doesn't have a boyfriend nor interested right now. Very proud of her, I am just hurt that no one can read and get what I am saying. I don't come on here often, I thought this was a good place to ask. It is fashion and beauty. There is no venom in my words to each of you. I forgive you. If you knew me, you would know I have fought, loved and let her be who she is. No boxes. Again I am sorry.
Last edited by Vintage Life; 12-10-2014 at 06:17 PM..
Sure, I understand. I just don't think it's the time. She's only 19; let her have fun. Maybe when she's a senior you can find some sort of 'dressing for success' program.
A lot of people have mismatched "style" nowadays. Some may improve on age, and some don't. If you daughter doesn't, well, that's just what you'll have to live with. You and her are different people. It's just an individual development.
My mom and I have completely different styles. She's into what's modern/current but I have classic aesthetics. She tells me I dress like I'm too mature and wonders why I don't wear rhinestones and costume jewelry. She likes costumes and loud colors. I like tailored, well-fitted clothing. I hate cheap stuff. I hate slinkly stuff. I don't do costumey things. I wear classic prints and I love plaids and collared blouses. I'm obsessed with pencil skirts and stockings since I was very little. She use to sew and she taught me, however she stopped sewing 2 decades ago, and I still continue sew (for a living even)...of which, my specialty is tailoring. Who knows why she dresses like a 20-something, but no one knows where or why my style is so retro. Just is. Always has been like that. Probably always will be. It's just part of who we are as separate entities.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
