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Most people in this society are under the idea or misconception that personality will always be greater than appearance, we human beings have the ability to judge someone else based on their personality rather than on their appearance, and the fact of the matter is that in an ideal society that would be true, but we are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world, so is not true. We are not that ideal society, where personality is greater than appearance.
It is frustrating because we always want to lie to ourselves, no appearances don't matter, personality is what matters. I think we as humans KNOW that appearances matter, we know it as a general fact, that looks matter but we try to sort of blind ourselves to that truth, because that truth would make humans seem less perfect than they really are, so what we try to do is brush that to the side, because the truth would be more painful. We try to make ourselves seem better and more good-hearted than we actually are for our own sake.
Most humans innately prefer to have hope than be cognizant of an unpleasant truth that negates that hope even if positive results of that hope NEVER materialize
For example, if a girl is good looking, she has more reasons to lie, because her beauty puts her in a place where people may assume she is vain, superficial, stuck-up etc, so she feels more pressure to claim that looks don't matter, even though she knows by experience that they do (which would include her own looks, which everyone can see) thus automatically coming off as humble, more human, the perfect combo in society's eyes, beauty and humbleness packed together.
Every guy in videos or real life, who claims that looks don't matter, doesn't have looks themselves and if they do, they are just being hypocrites, lying so they are perceived as humble. Same thing happens with money, only people without money say that it don't matter, a rich person would never say it unless he wants society approval. He doesn't really care about people without money.
I have noticed women who are more likely to straight up give you an honest answer that looks matter while you were expecting the opposite answer, happen to be below average girls, maybe because they live through it every day, so they more than anyone else know the importance of looks.
I don't think there are rampant claims that "looks don't matter."
What I see and hear far more of is people acknowledging that attraction is subjective, and one person's "unattractive" is easily another person's "attractive." If you get "looks don't matter" out of that, fair enough. I suppose looks don't matter in the sense that taste is subjective, and it doesn't matter at all if, say, my looks don't appeal to 99.9999% of the population, so long as they DO appeal to the person to whom I want them to appeal, and whose looks appeal to me.
Many people say looks aren't the only thing (which is true) but I'm not sure many people say looks don't matter at all.
It depends upon the context - for example, in relationships, looks will matter more or less from person to person. Attraction DOES need to be there and sometimes that means very much the visual, and sometimes it means less the visual and more personality. And so on.
In the business world, yes, more physically attractive people seem to have an advantage when you crunch the numbers but few people are SO amazing to simply sit there and look at that they can literally become company V.P.s and stay there without performing, for example. Likewise, a person who is "gifted" genetically in the looks department will often get "little treats"...get out of a traffic ticket by blinking mascara'd eyes and wearing cleavage, the waitress brings you a free dessert because you're soooooo handsome...etc. No, not every single thing in life is "fair"...and again, I doubt many people pretend life IS fair...in any regard, including this one. It is what it is.
With that said, things DO even out at least somewhat, in all arenas, when you get to know a person. Sure, that hot guy got a free cinnamon roll but he may have just gotten dumped by a wonderful girl who would have given him something lasting because he was a ******* who treated her badly. Or that average-looking guy with a sexy attitude may have just landed a great job with his charm once he got into the interviewing office door.
However, yes, to an extent (and again, this absolutely varies from person to person), looks matter...not just genetic "good looks" but the way one chooses to present him/herself. A person who doesn't bother grooming says something about him/herself. A person stuck in a time warp (without specifically trying to be "retro") says something about him/herself. A person with an average at best face who keeps in shape, smiles and laughs frequently says something about herself. A person who glares all around the room like a serial killer says something about him/herself. Etc.
Looks matter to a degree, as does personality, honestly many things matter, depending on where you lay your chips. As far as looks, one could have a busted face, and banging body, which is all some people care about, and if they click mentally- yay. As far as personality, for some; you might not be all that hot as per gen-pubs opinion, but there's something there, and a decent personality makes one, oh so hotter, for others, you could be sexy as hell, but that nasty attitude makes you as ugly as the wicked witch. It's more of the degree in which looks matter, much like penis size- a guys head game can be strong, but at some point he has to bring it on home.
I just hate the degree in which some people put in looks, if you aren't pleasurable to look at, damn your personality, they don't even want to venture that far. To me, that's a real problem. What somebody looks like is the first thing you see, sometimes that's just as far as it goes. Looks aren't the main objective for me, I've been with people some may over look, but they were nice, and sexy in their own way. My fiancee looks like she'd be a bulldyke, but to me, shes chunky, busty, funny, sweet, and even though I hate short hair, she looks good with it. Aside from the short hair, she's damn near everything I was looking for.
A beautiful face and a vacuous mind make for an uninteresting person, whether they be male or female. But people are total packages. Some of us have more beauty and some of us don't. But those of us, like me, who aren't beautiful somehow continue to live and love and feel happiness.
A guy can fall in love with a beautiful woman, and then later discover that she is not smart, good or interesting. Maybe that is OK with him or maybe it isn't. A guy can learn to love a less lovely woman and by seeing her with different eyes. Honestly, many women do this instinctively with less than great looking guys.
I also want to mention that a guy with "issues" and/or low motivation might have trouble attracting a beautiful woman, because he has nothing to offer except his infatuation. A handsome face and dull mind make for an uninteresting person.
So many times, what is attractive is the thing that makes a person uniquely something: kind, fun, humorous, empathetic, competent, etc.
Looks matter to me, but looks/attraction are also subjective, and there can be a wide range of what an individual considers attractive.
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Looking good doesn't hurt!
