Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lastly, like KathryAragon, I ask "so what if we women look our age?" I am proud of being 67 and being as fit and healthy as I am. I never try to "fool" anyone regarding my age - that is stupid. No one escapes getting older and that is if you are lucky! I have always been about being the best you can be at whatever age you are. And if any guys out there (or on this forum) want to nitpick any of us vintage ladies' looks, you better take a good look in the mirror and pass muster yourselves first! lol
Yep, I agree with this. As I always tell my hubby, it's better to grow old than die young, at least for most people. For men, sometimes the baggy shirts are for concealed carry
I assume this is a response to mr bolo, whose comment in the other thread (started by a woman) was really the only one as ugly as yours.
Ugly? How 'bout painfully honest. I mean, it goes two ways. I didn't slam mr bolo (I'll take your word for it about it being his post you're referring to) because apparently he's very observant, like many people - men and women - on this forum and apparently in real life.
But my point is this:
1) Men age too and their bodies definitely show it, and
2) Women notice details about aging just as men do.
So if we're going to be blunt and very open about the signs of aging in women, let's be blunt and very open about the signs of aging in men as well.
Yep, I agree with this. As I always tell my hubby, it's better to grow old than die young, at least for most people. For men, sometimes the baggy shirts are for concealed carry
For women too, for that matter.
But we also have cute purse options available for concealed carry.
Men aren't the only ones with a license to carry and they're not the only ones packing. (Not that you're saying that, but I just wanted to clarify that point!)
Did you tell mr bolo you thought his response was ugly?
I ignored the thread because I thought it was a crappy idea. When I saw one on men, I wondered if that thread was indeed as crappy as I suspected. I scanned it quickly and the post that jumped out was Mr Bolo's. Otherwise on a quick scan it looked pretty tame. The tone here is a bit more intensely hateful.
Feel free to check my posting history. I consistently point out when men behave in ugly ways toward women, especially regarding their appearance. I've offered my opinion on a woman's appearance or women's appearances in general perhaps one time in the 3 + years I've posted here, and that was to say that short hair can be very attractive on a woman in a thread where a woman poster talked about cutting her hair quite short and had then received a lot of negative feedback.
In some ways, that's one of the things I find disturbing about all the "women's looks/aging" threads around here, is the matter-of-fact tone like it's completely natural and expected to be constantly dissecting and critiquing women's appearances and efforts (or lack thereof, and results deemed unsuccessful) to look younger.
In some ways, that's one of the things I find disturbing about all the "women's looks/aging" threads around here, is the matter-of-fact tone like it's completely natural and expected to be constantly dissecting and critiquing women's appearances and efforts (or lack thereof, and results deemed unsuccessful) to look younger.
I agree, which is why I offered the "condensed book version" of the male side of the equation in this thread. For years, I've read thread after thread on this forum, where people (men and women) focus on aging in WOMEN and seem to disregard the fact that men age very obviously as well, and that women notice it.
It's been unsettling to me that people seem so comfortable with critiquing - often in a negative tone - women's looks down to the most minute details, page after page, and yet when someone posts about men balding (just one of the many signs of aging in men) that people are quick to assure men that women don't necessarily find that unattractive, that we care more about character than the coverage on the top of their heads, etc. etc. I mean, that may be true, but that's not all of the story.
The REST of the story is not as pretty, but for whatever reason, women don't tend to lambast men on their aging bodies like men (and unfortunately some women) are quick to lambast women on our aging bodies.
It's a double standard that I think is uglier than pointing out the obvious signs of aging in both men and women.
How many times have I read about "crepey necks," "aging hands," "sagging skin," "sunken cheeks," "loose yellowing teeth," "uneven skin tone," "loss of muscle mass and tone," "fuddy duddy gray hair styles," "pudgy midsections," and "varicose veins" when it comes to descriptions of aging women? Guess what guys, the same things happen to you - INCLUDING sagging breasts (yep, we notice when men get man boobs as they age). And women notice these. And they're not attracted by them. But I would bet that the ratio of posts about women's aging looks vs men's aging looks is probably 20 to 1 - at least.
So I'm just stating the obvious - that most women for whatever reason usually keep to themselves. Well, let me correct that - we do sometimes talk about it and laugh about it, but usually just among other women.
I think it's unrealistic to expect women to maintain their looks like Helen Mirren or Jennifer Anniston - and I think it's unrealistic to expect men to maintain their looks like Richard Gere or George Clooney.
The simple truth is that most people - male and female - over the age of 45 look - well, over the age of 45. And why should there be any shame to that?
Just keep those ear hairs under control, guys! In other words, pay as much attention to your own personal grooming as you expect women to pay attention to theirs. And remember - when you're 45 years old and thinking to yourself, "Hmmm, she looked young and fresh till I got up closer to her," she's probably thinking the same thing about you.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 09-23-2016 at 09:40 AM..
As a man entering (or having well entered) middle age, I clicked on this thread to get a perspective on what I should be looking out for in the coming years so I can remain presentable.
And good grief, Kathryn, you make older men sound absolutely disgusting! Thanks for the heads-up!
In some ways, that's one of the things I find disturbing about all the "women's looks/aging" threads around here, is the matter-of-fact tone like it's completely natural and expected to be constantly dissecting and critiquing women's appearances and efforts (or lack thereof, and results deemed unsuccessful) to look younger.
As a man entering (or having well entered) middle age, I clicked on this thread to get a perspective on what I should be looking out for in the coming years so I can remain presentable.
And good grief, Kathryn, you make older men sound absolutely disgusting! Thanks for the heads-up!
Sorry. NO. UNKEMPT older men are generally disgusting. Older men who don't pay close attention to their personal hygiene can be disgusting.
Wrinkles, sagging skin, gray hair, love handles around the midsection - those are natural occurrences in most people, men and women, over the years. None of those are disgusting to me.
What IS disgusting to me is the common practice - among men but also among women apparently - of being very critical of the natural aging process in women, but not applying the same level of scrutiny to the aging process of men.
I just wanted men to know that yes - women notice aging and personal hygiene (or the lack thereof) in men, at least as much as men notice it in women.
Men and women have some different challenges - for instance, women don't tend to grow hair in odd places (except the chin, but most women I know are VERY aware of this and keep that bidness under strict control), and women don't tend to get those long earlobes, greasy dandruff, and thickened toenails that older men tend to get. But we do tend to get sagging boobs, more varicose veins, and more pronounced loss of muscle tone than most men. And there are exceptions of course, to all of those challenges.
My point is that people who are so quick to discuss in minute detail the aging process in women (and often the effect of that aging process on mens' libidos) might need some reminding that the aging process in men is inevitable as well - and women notice it. We're often just too polite to mention it so stridently.
But my husband would be the first to tell you that while I am a GOOD woman, I am not a SWEET woman. So yeah - I said what plenty of women are already thinking.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
