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I shop sometimes to make me feel good. Then reality hits when I get home and half the time I bring stuff back the next day.
My new trick is to shop online, put loads of stuff in my "shopping cart" and then not buy anything. I get the thrill of shopping without the commitment or spending $$$$.
The organizing "experts" say not to bring anything in without throwing something out. Two new items in, two old items out. I purge my closets on a regular basis.
I have actually done that ! Online shopping is not as tempting for me. It is once I try it on the attachment starts and it is also about finding that hidden treasure.
This is SO me. I cannot turn down another pair of jeans, especially if they are Eileen Fisher that retail for $178 - what is $5 at a Goodwill store. People spend that much at McDonalds.
Bottom line, we all have things we like, clothes, shoes, shopping. I am grateful that my husband has gotten to the point that he appears not to care. I am spending less on my pleasure - alternative source shopping.
I have actually tried the trade off ex I would spend this much on lunch ... this such a better investment .. so I can't be wrong ! Actually I tend to go shopping on my lunch break.
Avoiding stores in my environment is impossible. They are everywhere.
So you can't avoid the stores? Then avoid being able to shop in them. Take your credit cards and debit card out of your wallet, and carry just the CASH you need for your anticipated regular daily purchases (lunch at work, tolls, etc.). Then when you see that oh-so-cute (but utterly unneeded) sweater while you're out, you literally WILL NOT be able to buy it right then. You won't have the money on you to do so! Shopping for clothes will have to be a planned event, not an impulsive one.
I laughed out loud the other day when I was at the grocery store and the clerk gave my receipt with several things circled and proudly said .. you saved $5.31 today (and look at how many 'points' we gave you too - just for the privilege of knowing your every whim and habit so we can exploit you more the next time you come in)! And I just looked at her and said, unfortunately I had to spend over $50 to 'save' that much. Those were groceries and I need them to feed myself and my dog - and they were not extravagant purchases at all (plus they are consumables - literally - and won't take up storage space for very long) .. but the same kind of thing is repeated in just about every store I go to lately. They laud what I saved (and try to incentivize me to come back and spend more) hoping to make me forget what I had to spend to 'save' that much.
Ok, so OP you have a problem. You know you do. First - get rid of just about everything that you have not worn or used in x # of months (unless they are seasonal clothes and this is not 'the season' - but if you had them and didn't use/wear them at all yet or not at all last season - out they go too!). Second - resolve that every time you buy ONE thing, you will purge TWO things of the same type.
It is said it takes 21 days 'practice' to get into a new 'habit'. This is a habit that needs breaking and replacing with a new 'habit'. Drastic measures are called for. Perhaps in being radical in the new way, you can break and replace your old habit. Don't tone down the replace 2 for 1 thing until you have things at least stabilized in the shopping department - or you run out of clothes to throw out when you buy something new (and if that happens - go back to a more reasonable 1 for 1 replacement). By the way though, you ALWAYS lose the tax you spend on items like this, especially in Canada. You are feeding the government with every purchase - large or small. Get angry about that .. maybe that will help you curb sometimes.
I think I need to work on the rule ex buy one get ride of 2 ... but the problems is so large right now that it might be a buy one toss 50 to catch up.
I got to wonder if maybe I should have my own consignment store. If I am getting so much pleasure out of this as a hobby... why could I not do this as a business?
So you can't avoid the stores? Then avoid being able to shop in them. Take your credit cards and debit card out of your wallet, and carry just the CASH you need for your anticipated regular daily purchases (lunch at work, tolls, etc.). Then when you see that oh-so-cute (but utterly unneeded) sweater while you're out, you literally WILL NOT be able to buy it right then. You won't have the money on you to do so! Shopping for clothes will have to be a planned event, not an impulsive one.
I would go absolutely insane. There is this show in Canada called money moron ... where part of the deal to be on the show is to live off cash and she takes all of your cards away. My absolute nightmare!!!!
I would just go crazy if there was something I could not get. I am really not good with strict budgets as I do tend to live a fairly implusive life style. I would be in tears. I wonder if this type of behaviour is much more common in urban settings then in rural areas?
I don't think there is one answer. It depends on how much you use the items! I am overdue for a wardrobe purge because I know I have items I haven't worn in ages and that don't fit my current vision of my style.
I have some items that I am on the fence about (particularly shoes) that I seem to keep around too long. Sometimes it is hard to cut if it was a "good deal." But it is not a good deal if you don't wear it!
you should really add up the amount of money on the clothes you bought, especially the ones that still have the tags or that you have never worn. you already said thousands and thousands. instead of being so self indulgent why not donate that money to a women's shelter or some other worthy cause. just because you have the money doesn't mean you should be spending it without much of a thought other than for quick self gratification. you have a bad habit that you need to change, changing a habit you've had since you were a teenager is difficult but doable. do something different with your spare time, exercise, donate your time to a charity or get a new way less expensive hobby. purchasing clothes, no matter how cheap if you don't really need them is just wasteful. the money you spend, even if you didn't donate it could go towards an investment that might return you more money. a potential rental house, a small business, heck you could even travel the world if you just stopped buying pairs and pairs of boots.
I would just go crazy if there was something I could not get.
Ask yourself why. Remember, we're not talking about items you truly NEED. Why is it so important to you to immediately buy a "bargain" that isn't one (since you know the item will just end up being unworn in your closet)? You've said you can pass up items you like when they are not on sale; what is it about the sales tag that you can't resist?
I think you're going to have to reconcile yourself to the fact that getting control of this problem (which you yourself have identified as such) is going to involve some short-term pain while you develop new habits. Otherwise nothing will change, and after every closet purge you'll be right back to drowning in unused clothes in just a few weeks or months.
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I am really not good with strict budgets as I do tend to live a fairly implusive life style.
Unfortunately impulsivity and problems with money management tend to go hand-in-hand. You may not need a down-to-the-last-penny household budget, but setting yourself a monthly budget just for clothes and other fashion items might also help you curb the impulsive buying, if you can will yourself to stick with it.
I know this will differ from person to person, but I am 100% realizing I have way too much stuff (... but I want it and can't resist buying new stuff). I just bought 3 jackets and 2 pairs of boots tonight because they were so cute and they were a really great deal..... and I really really don't need them ... but I really really like them ( I am feeling crazy guilty).
When will you have time to wear all this great stuff? Or will it just get hidden in the closet?
Nothing is a great deal if you won't have time to wear them. Yes, there can be a high when you buy something, by the time you get it home and put it away that high is gone and you are left with "stuff" that will probably get lost in the closet. Then next week you will go back to a store and need your fix--another high. It is all a temporary fix.
There is something lacking in your life.
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Originally Posted by klmrocks
If I am getting so much pleasure out of this as a hobby... why could I not do this as a business?
I don't get the feeling you are getting pleasure from it. Sounds more like anxiety and trying to cover up problems with more "stuff". You said you are feeling "crazy guilty". That is not pleasure.
When will you have time to wear all this great stuff? Or will it just get hidden in the closet?
Nothing is a great deal if you won't have time to wear them. Yes, there can be a high when you buy something, by the time you get it home and put it away that high is gone and you are left with "stuff" that will probably get lost in the closet. Then next week you will go back to a store and need your fix--another high. It is all a temporary fix.
There is something lacking in your life.
I don't get the feeling you are getting pleasure from it. Sounds more like anxiety and trying to cover up problems with more "stuff". You said you are feeling "crazy guilty". That is not pleasure.
In your comments every week ..... not try every day ( a few times a day).
I found a really really cool pair of BCBG black heels on my break today... but I admired then put them back. I did buy something minor, but it was not clothes or accessories. Today I think it is masking BOREDOM...
I am stuck doing stuff I am bored of doing on most days.
Re-lacking in my life... not sure what that could be? I see people with less that don't really look much happier then me so I am not sure where to go with that comment.
This brings everything back to a more philosophical
question... what is anyone suppose to actually be doing anyways? Once you got your basics down packed. What are you suppose to be aiming for?
There does not really seem to be much of a bench mark for how many shoes, bags, jewelry that someone really needs. Could it be like collecting anything else as a hobby? Ex no one really needs 100 bennie babies, dolls, hockey cards or what ever.
I guess volume of items needed depends highly on lifestyle and storeage capacity. I have passed mine ... so I guess that is my hint.
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! Online shopping is not as tempting for me. It is once I try it on the attachment starts and it is also about finding that hidden treasure.
Lol...
! Actually I tend to go shopping on my lunch break.
and can't resist buying new stuff). I just bought 3 jackets and 2 pairs of boots tonight because they were so cute and they were a really great deal..... and I really really don't need them ... but I really really like them ( I am feeling crazy guilty).
... not try every day ( a few times a day). 
