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That's what I'm wondering. How does someone's SO plan and undergo surgery in secret? That speaks to larger problems in their relationship beyond looks.
Agreed! Someone who is married should discuss a major surgery with their spouse first. Not saying you have to get their ok, but what if something happened? Why would her new body all of a sudden turn you off? Love goes much deeper than that. Seems like your there's a few relationship problems here!
That's what I'm wondering. How does someone's SO plan and undergo surgery in secret? That speaks to larger problems in their relationship beyond looks.
Exactly.
I'm a pragmatic person, and I'll make a prediction: Wifey has a boyfriend. Or has seriously got the hots for somebody.
Why would she do something so drastic without prior discussion? Perhaps she felt that you didn't like the way she looked and tried to fix it.
Were you open about how you felt about her body? Did you make her feel confident that she was attractive to you? Is it possible that you weren't reassuring enough and left it to her to just "know" how much you loved her?
I have no idea how you can resolve this but I suggest you try.
Anyway, I agree with the other posters - doing it behind your back and at such an early age means that there is probably more to come and you really should have a talk with her before that happens. How - I don't know.
I'll take a stab. Since you're right; this could only be the beginning. The OP needs to find out what's going on with her. Hopefully she didn't do it because she has a new love interest.
OP: you could open the discussion saying something like, "Honey, you know I love you the way you are. I've always thought you were beautiful. Because of that, I'm surprised you got those surgeries. Would you like to talk about it?"
If she says it's no big deal, and tries to brush it off, you could say (instead of getting into an argument as to whether or not it's a big deal, or it's a big deal to you): "Are you ok? Is everything ok? " You could add at some point, depending: "Are we ok?" or "I'm wondering if I should be concerned about you. You've always looked sensational, so I'm not getting this sudden change. Could you explain it to me?"
I would tell her the truth 'I still love you but I preferred you before', not easy I know but it might stop her doing something as stupid again in the future?
I disagree - she can't change what's done, why make her feel worse about it? As for the OP why did you fall in love with your wife? Was it only her body? She's still the same woman isn't she? What if she had been in an accident and lost an arm or leg? Would you love her less because of it?
I disagree - she can't change what's done, why make her feel worse about it? As for the OP why did you fall in love with your wife? Was it only her body? She's still the same woman isn't she? What if she had been in an accident and lost an arm or leg? Would you love her less because of it?
I'm still in love with her. Just not as physically attracted. If it had been reconstructive, as in accident-related, it would have been a much different story. Everything about this is just off-putting to me.
I'm still in love with her. Just not as physically attracted. If it had been reconstructive, as in accident-related, it would have been a much different story. Everything about this is just off-putting to me.
then consider yourself lucky....
look around buddy,,,,, she at least made an effort to improve herself,,
sucked and tucked is better than wiggle and jiggle
I'm guessing because she didn't get your blessing,,,you wouldn't like it no matter how she looks
climb down from control freak mountain and appreciate her before you lose her
Right after surgery, the places that had work done look more extreme than they will in a couple of months, so what you're seeing now is probably exaggerated from what the final result will be.
If she got this work done behind your back, maybe she did it in part as a surprise thinking you'd be thrilled and was mistaken. If she was well aware of your position, maybe she went behind your back because she doesn't think it's your choice what she does with her own body.
My question is these surgeries are not cheap, so where did the money come from?? Are you ok with her spending thousands of dollars without talking with you about it first? It's one thing spending a few hundred, but we're talking thousands!!! I'd be mad about that more that how she looked!
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