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There has to be more than just looks - you and your wife will eventually get old and saggy - no matter how hard you take care of yourself you are still going to get old and wrinkled - accept it - love her for herself and not just her looks.
As others, for me the big red flag is that she had this done without consulting with him, more than whatever she had done. Did she want to surprise you?
I know her body is hers, but when you're married you at least share with your partner stuff like having medical procedures done, elective or no.
There has to be more than just looks - you and your wife will eventually get old and saggy - no matter how hard you take care of yourself you are still going to get old and wrinkled - accept it - love her for herself and not just her looks.
I would tell her the truth 'I still love you but I preferred you before', not easy I know but it might stop her doing something as stupid again in the future?
SOS ... yeah right! Don't tell her anything!!!!
In is the reverse of the telling your wife/husband you are no longer attractive she you are less put together. You need to get the heck over this.
My husband gets a stupid hair cut, shaves his facial hair in a way I don't like or loose weight ... I don't like it, not really a big turn on in my books ... but I SHUT my mouth . I get over it. I may tease him about it ...but I would not say I don't find you attractive anymore... that is pretty harsh.
She didn't tell you about it in advance, because she knew you wouldn't think it was needed and wouldn't approve. Her insecurity about her body goes deeper than the physical appearance that others would perceive. She was trying to alter and fix something inside herself. Her attempt failed, as far as you are concerned, so there will probably be more such things to follow. Even if you haven't said anything specifically, she knows you don't like the result, as well as being aware of your feelings of betrayal for being shut out of such a significant decision. She knew how you would feel in advance, but was thinking only of herself and went ahead, anyway.
The big question is, do you want to stay with her? That simple fact should guide what you do from now on. You didn't mention any children, so we can't enter that possibility into any recommendations.
People do physically change as they age, or have children perhaps..They might gain or lose weight or change their hairstyle..
I think plastic surgery should be discussed, for many reasons. That wasn't really the issue. The issue was that he doesn't find her as attractive now, as he did before.
I wouldn't say anything about that, because what is done is done.
My point is that the physical body changes over time anyway, and we have to deal with it. Having kids can lead to disappointing changes that cannot be put back to how they were.
People do change for whatever reason and you don't have to like it but you have to deal with it, or not.
When you get married, you don't expect your partner, or yourself to stay frozen in time exactly how you are on the day you make your vows. That is not in the vows.
If you aren't attracted to your wife, then you aren't attracted. That doesn't mean you don't love her. Probably that is common.
*Mods, if you feel this belongs in the relationships forum, please feel free to move it.
Who shook your cage, awfully nice of you to let the mods know how to run the forum hahahaha, its fine to me on here, I dont know how anyone like this woman could have such a big procedure done and keep it quiet to be honest, and how much did it cost, wouldnt the money also cause friction as well as the asthetics.
People do physically change as they age, or have children perhaps.-----
People do change for whatever reason and you don't have to like it but you have to deal with it, or not. ------
When you get married, you don't expect your partner, or yourself to stay frozen in time exactly how you are on the day you make your vows.
This doesn't have to be true. If you are dedicated to good exercise and dietary habits, you can keep yourself very close to vintage condition, for a long time. To me, the mutual pledge to do that, would be an essential part of the vows. Look at Ivanka Trump. She's had three children and has a Class 10+ shape. If she can find time in her busy schedule to do the workouts she obviously does, who couldn't?
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What?????
. I get over it. I may tease him about it ...but I would not say I don't find you attractive anymore... that is pretty harsh.
