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I was shocked at my brother's funeral to see his daughter dressed for the funeral like she was cleaning out the garage, wearing a hoodie, jeans, and running shoes. All the young people were dressed like that, to my surprise.
Other than that, I don't mind people dressing casually, even at work, as long as they aren't wearing PJ's and slippers.
But if someone wants to dress more fashionably, go for it. There's no law.
Same here-was at a funeral last week and folks showed up in cargo shorts and tee shirts. I was one of a few in a suit in tie. If you don't dress for weddings and funerals, I guess you don't dress for any occasion. Guess I am old but in my opinion showing up at someone's funeral looking like you just rolled out of bed is disrespectful.
The thing is, for many professionals, you do not want to be remembered for your clothing. Not as a slob, not as dressing up. Your clothes should be the least remarkable thing about you.
Could not disagree more. If I have two employees, both of whom are equally creative, innovation and results driven and one dresses professionally and the other looks like a slob, the professionally dressed employee is going to get the bigger projects. It's simple really, I DO judge folks based on appearance and, I see nothing wrong with that.
I'm coming up on 60 HARD. And I have NEVER worn makeup. I never will. Anyone who judges someone negatively for NOT WEARING MAKEUP is a huge bigot. And its a particularly stupid bigotry too boot.
Not wearing makeup is not a sign of anything but not wearing makeup. Perhaps its a sign of someone smart enough not to waste hundreds or thousands of dollars a year on nonsense - but its not a sign of being "sloppy" or decompensating or "letting one's self go".
I'd be willing to bet you'd have called my hair "sloppy" - because it is super curly and long and I wore it loose, always, and NO HAIRSPRAY ever. Helmet head looks ridiculous - and frankly my hair doesn't tolerate any leave-ins whatsoever. No wonder so many women have trouble with hair loss and breakage and frizzies and split ends. All that crap they think they have to lacquer their hair with.
As for looking "businesslike" - blow me. That was my attitude when I was still gainfully employed as well. I was a software engineer, I never saw a client and never wanted to see a client. Yet my first employer forced me to go to a seminar about "professionalism" for women. Where the "instructor" clearly had terrible class and racial prejudices. I spent a good deal of time crawling around on the floor messing with cables and whatnot - and they thought I should turn up to work in a dress and heels? LMFAO!
When I pointed out to this idiot (teaching the seminar) that dresses and heels were not practical in any way shape or form in my job, she accused me of being "uncooperative" (definitely accurate, why should I cooperate with idiocies about how women are "supposed" to dress - plus guys were not expected to meet a dress code, why should I? - anyway -)
Then she told me to wear culottes. Oh yeah. Culottes - so much more professional than my favorite outfit at the time, consisting of nice silk slacks and a silk blouse. Its not like I was turning up in sweats.
You'd better believe I had some words for the idiot at work who sent me to that seminar. I told him to his face - and pretty darn politely too boot, not the blunt way I'm typing this today - that I WOULD NOT be wearing dresses or heels ever. If he didn't like it he could fire me now, and never ever was he to bring the subject up to me or ABOUT me ever again. What a maroon!
That was the end of that. Never again did I ever hear from anyone in any job ever again anything about my mode of dress being inappropriate in any way - because managers learned pretty quickly from women like me that crappy attitudes about women and dresses don't fly any more.
I can't believe there are still people in this day and age who care about makeup ON OTHER PEOPLE (or rather NOT on other people, LOL!) and complain about women who don't wear dresses and heels. You folks REALLY need to get lives of your own and stop worrying about how other people are living their lives. It Is NOT Your Business.
BTW - my favorite mode of dress these days is salwar kameez. And I think plenty of salwar sets look sufficiently "professional" for any business. While we're at it, "black" hair shouldn't be a problem for women with that type of hair either. If they want to wear a 'fro, or cornrows, or dreads - no skin off my nose, and it shouldn't be an issue.
I once worked for a company in which the new director, at her FIRST meeting with employees brought a plastic bag of clothing items. As she pulled out leggings and huge tee shirts she said, "some of you shouldn't be seen in the privacy of your own home in these, much less in the workplace and if you're wondering if I'm taliking about you, I'll be happy to tell you". I laughed my ass off! She sent people home on more than one occasion for their appearance. Personally, I believe in a professional appearance at a business so I was cool with it but she had her haters.
I'm all for dressing up if you're going to a formal gathering like a wedding (unless bride and groom have indicated casual attire is to be worn) or a dinner in an upscale restaurant that requires jacket and tie.
I'm even fine with it in customer-facing positions where a company has this as part of their dress code.
I don't get it in positions where people NEVER see anyone outside the other people in their office.
Who cares?
As long as a person is clean, bathed, not smelly, and their clothing is clean, washed, and not smelly... what difference does it make?
Yeah... I get not wanting people to show up dressed like they're headed for the swimming pool, yoga class, or a heavy metal concert, but desiring that people be forced to dress in uncomfortable clothing is the fastest way to assure that most people won't want to work for your organization.
Dressing up for work sounds fun for about a week or two when you've never held a white-collar job, then being REQUIRED to do it sucks.
I remember how much my mom hated dressing up every day (she worked as executive assistant for years). She'd come home and be yanking off her pantyhose while walking to her room.
I had to dress up at my first couple of jobs years ago, and I am SO glad that business casual became the rule instead of the exception.
The last employer that I had outside the home (I work remote now and have for a while) required business casual and then had casual Fridays where people could just show up in pretty much anything. I mean, people didn't show up in Daisy Dukes, but they did wear shorts now and then. Or a tee shirt that they wouldn't typically wear the other 4 days of the week.
For a good many of the older people who worked with me, Fridays were when they wore a nice, clean pair of jeans. That sort of deal. Younger people wore jeans whenever they wanted, usually paired with a polo shirt or sport shirt for men or a blouse, sweater, or other work-appropriate shirt for women.
There's a world of difference between dressed to the nines and "what you wear when you're home sick with a cold."
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I've heard men in my office say VERBATIM that you "Can't be pretty AND smart".
I know for a fact that I can't embrace my femininity at work because I won't be taken seriously.
Not to get on the glass ceiling bandwagon, but this is happening and it's 12st Century.
I hope that it's just my industry, and others have higher standards for professionalism.
I'm the kind of person who would take that as a challenge to prove them wrong. I mean, women wouldn't have gotten as far as we have if it hadn't been for the women before us who proved men wrong.
I work for a company that is in a very old, white male dominated field. But the president of my division is a young-ish woman who isn't afraid to be uber feminine. But she's so outstanding within the field, that she has gone farther than many of her old white male counterparts (not just within the company, but also within industry related associations). Of course, she's probably had to work twice as hard as the men, but she's definitely earned every bit of her success.
Embrace your femininity ... and then rock your job in a way that they can't ignore your awesomeness!!
I will not mourn the loss of high heels and make up as a necessary part of being 'put together'. I will not miss the societal decree that women who don't wear such don't care about their appearance and must be sloppy.
I've heard men in my office say VERBATIM that you "Can't be pretty AND smart".
I know for a fact that I can't embrace my femininity at work because I won't be taken seriously.
Not to get on the glass ceiling bandwagon, but this is happening and it's 12st Century.
I hope that it's just my industry, and others have higher standards for professionalism.
Yeah it IS like 12th century.
Those guys are dumb but I think a professional appearance doesn't go too feminine or too masculine, it is not about making any personal statement except being professional.
I wear a suit or at least a business jacket with a skirt or slacks when I have a meeting. My male bosses wear suits and ties, and the woman owner wears suits with pants.
We are an engineering firm. Now I notice that when we meet with architects, they tend to dress down. Architects tend to fancy themselves as avant-garde and artistic, so that's no surprise, but still, they are stylish business casual, not sloppy messes.
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