"Does This Make Me Look Fat?" (cut, male, shoulders)

[Shelia Shay]

I'm not overweight, but not every piece of clothing is flattering to my figure. When I ask my husband or someone else that question, I'm really asking "Is this outfit flattering on me?" If it makes me look heavier than I actually am, then I don't want to wear it. I want an honest answer because I don't have a good eye for what does and doesn't look good on myself.

[CSD610]

No need to ask, I can see myself in the mirror.

[A.Typical.Girl]

Never asked as I have a full length mirror & can readily know what I look like.

And, no one's ever asked me if they looked fat in an outfit.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by Shelia Shay

I'm not overweight, but not every piece of clothing is flattering to my figure. When I ask my husband or someone else that question, I'm really asking "Is this outfit flattering on me?" If it makes me look heavier than I actually am, then I don't want to wear it. I want an honest answer because I don't have a good eye for what does and doesn't look good on myself.

That's where I am too. I'm not overweight at all, but not every outfit is flattering. So maybe you could change what you say, and ask "what do you think about this?"

My husband is good at that. He'll say oh are you wearing that? That's not my favorite outfit.

Ok. That's going to Goodwill by the end of the day. (Unless it's just a "taste" thing, he doesn't like that style. Otherwise, yeah.)

[reneeh63]

Lawyers say to never ask a question you don't already know the answer to! I think most women ask even though they know - maybe just fishing or hoping against hope.

[gentlearts]

My husband is not capable of discerning the nuances of women's clothing. If I asked him if an outfit looked too _______________, he would only tell me what he thought I wanted to hear. Not because he was afraid of my reaction, but because he really would not know.

For example, he is tall, so wears tall XL tee shirts. If they aren't tall, then he wears XXL. So, he has a certain brand tee shirt in which the XXL is way too big. I told him that they make him look like a formerly fat man who has lost 300# on that TV show for 600 pounders. Those people never seem to get any new clothes.
Anyway, my point is, he would never know how bad those huge tee shirts look unless I told him.

[Meemur]

Originally Posted by CSD610

No need to ask, I can see myself in the mirror.

This ^^^^

That's why I installed two full-length mirrors in this house: one of the inside of the bathroom door and one on the inside of the front closet door. I used to think it was vain but now I do a quick once over before I leave the house. I'm in the process of weeding out my closets and donating those sale clothes that just don't flatter my figure if I'm being honest with myself.

[oh-eve]

Originally Posted by CatwomanofV

Yeah, sounds like part of a joke. I have asked it a couple of times to my husband and I do expect an honest answer. Hubby is not one for flattery so he does give me his honest answer and I am not insulted by it. I really want to know the truth.


So my questions are:

1.) Have you ever asked this question?

2.) If you have, do you expect an honest answer?

3.) Do you really WANT an honest answer?



Cat

I have never asked that question. But I have asked if a piece of clothing looks good on me.


What is the point of asking if you don't want the truth?

[bande1102]

Originally Posted by Corvette Ministries

It would seem that one asking specifically about "fat" is already biasing any response.

Why fat? Why not attractive? Presentable? Businesslike?

But no. Here are more:

"Does this make me look desperate?"

"Is this too revealing?"

"Does it look like I'm trying too hard?"

"Do I look like a grandma?"

I completely agree. I would never ask anyone if I looked fat---way too subjective and I certainly don't want to invite my husband to critique me.


To the OP: My husband is a high level exec so I will ask him if I'm business appropriate. He's also really good in knowing which colors work with my skin tone and hair color.

He's also all about comfort. He firmly believes that when I'm not comfortable, I don't look confident. He will definitely point out that I look uncomfortable. He's right. You can look really good and be comfortable.

I definitely would NOT ask him if I looked fat, though. Just no.

[ovi8]

This goes along with asking perfect strangers if you think you look hot. If you're not ready for a "no you're actually a little ugly", don't ever ask.