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I absolutely hate pics of myself. But I feel like they must be accurate. I mean...they're photos.
I feel ugly and mannish most of the time but then again, I've always felt I looked mannish and everyone else has always told me I was crazy. It could be a childhood thing - my mother used to tell me I didn't keep my clothes clean enough or my hair neat enough to "be" a girl so she cut my hair super-short and dressed me in very boyish clothes. I used to beg for girl clothes and would cry, but to no avail. And at that time (before puberty, obviously) people did mistake me for a boy so I thought, "Oh, Mom is right." (duh?) So maybe that's at the root of this but I can say I feel more this way now than ever, particularly since I turned 50, for some reason.
I really dislike pics of myself...I do take some because I want my boys to have these memories one day...I read something somewhere about a woman who hated having pics taken of herself (but in that case it was because she had been very overweight) and she realized one day that she spent TWO YEARS refusing any pics of herself, and it was while her son was little. So net result, her son had no pics of them together during that time. After that, she stopped thinking "me me me" and started thinking of pic-taking in terms of memories to pass along. So that's how I try to think of pic-taking now.
That's a good point about the pics. When I was married, my now-ex always had me take pictures of him when we went somewhere, and then when we had our daughter, it was always me taking pictures of him and her or him and her and his family, etc. So now in the family vacation pictures we had when she was little and we were still married, it looks as if I wasn't even along on the trip.
One of my bridesmaids when I got married said, looking at my wedding picture, "You made such a beautiful bride. I could hardly believe it was you." She was married to my husband's best friend. I dumped her when I got rid of him.
You probably don't look that "mannish", JerZ, but that's what you see because of Mom's voice in your head. When I was a kid, I had long, curly hair, but my mother was always in a rush to get us out of the house and would brush my hair so vigorously that it hurt. One day she said she was sick of me yelling when she brushed my hair, and she took me to a men's barber shop and had them chop off my hair into a boy's haircut. I was six or seven, and I still remember the horror I felt seeing myself in the mirror. To this day I won't wear my hair too short. I'm way too tall to have short hair anyway.
My issues are that I don't feel I'm very good at makeup, so I almost never wear it (and it DOES make us look better in photos) and I haven't got a strong idea of what my own face looks like wearing various expressions, when I'm experiencing it from the other side. I'm part of a social group with access to pro photographers who do low cost pro photo shoots, and I could model...or "model"...just to get cool pics, and I've gone ahead and sat for photos with my boyfriend since we wanted to get pictures together. But it seems like every time we ever have, ONE of us is making a stupid face.
I told one photographer friend, look man, I'm not really...a "model"...really... I need a photographer who isn't shy, who is willing to say, "Uh, hon, you're doing a derpy stupid look with your face, could you not do that? Yeah that's better. Tilt your chin to the left. Open your eyes a bit more." Like really detailed instructions, because I CAN'T SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE.
Out of 100 pictures of me, I feel ok about maybe 10-15, I'd guess. And oddly, somehow, most of them are the ones where I was TRYING, the least, and they just somehow happened to work out.
Since this thread began, my S.O., who is a really good photographer mostly of wildlife, sent me a few pics that he took of me last time I was there. (We are long-distance). He deleted the bad ones and sent me the ones that were OK, and one of them I actually liked so much that I made it my profile pic on FB. I got a lot of compliments.
So there's one solution. Date or befriend a good photographer!
I'll bet you're lovely, but are uncomfortable in front of the camera. So being a talented photographer your SO was able to catch you relaxed.
I don’t know if I’m one or the other or both. I hate having my photo taken and I would imagine it shows through in photos. I find that I look best in photos where I didn’t know I was being photographed or had little time to pose/prepare “mentally” OR when I’ve had a little liquid courage.
I’ve spent most of my life avoiding having my photo taken, to the point where most of my family and friends don’t even bother anymore, but I’m recognizing that there are few photos of me, or of me with my family/children, especially since I’m always behind the lens. So now I don’t argue or avoid photos, I kind of suck it up so my kids will know that I existed.
My girlfriend is a longtime model/actress, so I asked her for some tips, but I always crack up when I try and do what she does. She’s even said I’m at a disadvantage because everybody is shorter than me, so im photographed from a bad angle.
Lol. Despair? Why do you assume aesthetically pleasing individuals would get in a funky mood for something as natural as aging? It's a fact of life. Wrinkles happen. Some look better than others with wrinkles. My mother is still stunningly gorgeous in her upper 50s, wrinkles and all.
Right. It's like saying a pro football player would be better off never having made the NFL, because one day he will have to face he can't do it anymore. If that's the case, it is better never to have anything good, because one day it will be gone. Don't get a pet, don't even fall in love, because one day you will have to face the despair of losing your partner. That is an awful way to look at life.
Most people transition through the stages of life with a better attitude than that.
I was pretty at 26, beautiful at 40, and still attractive at 56. I met the love of my life at 54. The ironic thing, is I was most insecure about my looks in my teens and 20's. THAT is when standing next to a "10" girl at a club would have made me feel completely worthless. My self-esteem has only gotten better with age.
I dont understand people who rush into a photo shoot to pose and seem to enjoy the attention, I hate it.. I dont like myself at all in photos. in fact to me I look like another person.. I know Im older now but jeezo.. I feel dejected after I see a photo taken of me especially one when its candid. Im horrible.
Well, I tell you what, I honestly think the digital photos of today just don't do much for most people. I just saw a couple of candid phone-snaps of a young friend (in her 30s) who is cute-gorgeous in real life, but the photos honest-to-god made here look like an older woman with lots of wrinkles and a big nose! She just does not look like that at all when you see her for real. I know many like this as well. So we are definitely not alone!
Had a friend who was fairly pretty. Went to her wedding and I noticed in the pics I took, she was only sort of half-smiling but she looked gorgeous. Then I realized why. With a full smile, her cheeks looked really chubby. Guess she was aware of that so she avoided the full smile, but it looked kind of strange, being her wedding day and all.
I took a great picture up until my 60's when my face started losing volume and got more angular. Now it's a crapshoot. I do have fun with that "Hollywood" filter that's available on Facebook. Wow, that'll make anybody look great!
I took a great picture up until my 60's when my face started losing volume and got more angular. Now it's a crapshoot. I do have fun with that "Hollywood" filter that's available on Facebook. Wow, that'll make anybody look great!
Ha, ha I'll have to try that.
All of the pictures I like of myself have the same smile. I just look better that way. Whenever I see a picture of me without that smile I hate it. Then I see the old, the wrinkles, and anything else I can pick on myself about. I don't want to photoshop anything but I need to smile.
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