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Old 06-15-2019, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Nashville
3,534 posts, read 4,751,674 times
Reputation: 4599

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I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I unfortunately had a mole excision surgery and the Dermatologist really wasn't too good at explaining how large of a scar I would be left with. It is sad, because even though I am bald, I always had a nice Bruce Willis style round bald head. But, after my surgery it left me with this large 2 inch gnarly scar above my ear on my right temple area of my head. The worst part of it is that I grow hair around most my head except my patchy scalp, so it looks better shaved. The area with the scar now looks a little indented and there is no hair underneath where the incision was made. Basically , I got this nice looking round clean shaven sclap with a very ugly and noticeable scar on the side of my head right above my ear. It is not noticeable looking at my face, but if I turn my head it looks bad.

As much as I would like to look into getting plastic surgery or some other medical treatment to try to remedy the scar, I just don't have the money and my insurance really doesn't cover anything until I hit a very high deductible. I am battling other health problems right now such as sciatica from too many years of software work and have to prioritize how I spend my money. I'm trying to keep myself out of a wheelchair, so my facial beauty I guess comes last.

The worst part of it all was it was a tiny mole that they said may have been pre-cancerous (not cancerous) and they said they thought it was very unusual even though not cancerous and to remove it. If I would have known a tiny mole would have left a scar like this I would have left it and just monitored it frequently for changes. But too late!

Anyway, if my hair grows out it covers the scar, but then I left with this patchy bald hair. It is sad as I use to have very beautiful hair and always complemented on it until my crappy genetics kicked in. It wasn't so bad having the Mr. Clean head , but with this scar I feel very uncomfortable.

Of course, I tend to like wearing hats of all kinds, from baseball hats to those Italian/Irish style caps, but some times you cannot wear a hat like if you go to a nightclub.

Anyway, I am looking into oils, lotions, exfoliate scrubbers and such to help reduce the scarring, but I also wonder if just the indention from the Dermatologist suturing up the area and the lack of hair may make it as noticeable as the scar itself. I know its been a long healing process and most of the scabs fell off just after 4 months. If I massage it, it is still a little painful . I was told massaging it is good to help reduce some scarring and can help produce new skin cells.

I guess I just would like to know what others have done to try to hide or even better help fade or reduce a very annoying looking scar on their head or even face? The tricky part here is it is on my scalp that is surrounded by hair and my hair gets quite thick in that area. It is strange because even though I am genetically bald on top the rest of my hair still grows thick like wool and I have to shave it frequently.

I also think if I got my head more tanned it would help make it less noticeable, but I am told I need to avoid any sun exposure for over half a year if not more. Living in Denver the sun has so much UVA and is so strong that I fear exposing my head at all into the sun.

I appreciate people who can help give me advice on this issue and I feel sorry for others who have to suffer with scars like this. I know my older age and genetics are catching up with me and also am coming to terms that I am not really attractive anymore and may just throw the towel in on worrying about this stuff.
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Old 06-16-2019, 09:38 AM
 
392 posts, read 198,907 times
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Other people here will give suggestions on possible remedies to reduce the scarring, but for me, I would embrace the scar. It is who you are now. It is a reminder of what you have gone through. Any person who is shallow enough to think of you less because of the scar, is not worth knowing for me.

When a Dermatologist is taking a mole or something like it off, they can only give you an educated guess on how much they may have to take. It is only known when they actually cut it out, on how much they may have to do.

PSA:

Keep suntan lotion or a hat on your head. Melanoma is cruel. I have always loved being in the sun, sun tanning, and seeing how dark I could get. A wake up call to me, was my first wife passing away from Melanoma many years ago. After some years, I stupidly went back to the sun. And now I have a four inch scar on my butt (where the sun don't shine), from where a spot of Melanoma was taken off. Never take a mole or dark spot (pre cancerous or not) lightly.
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Old 06-16-2019, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Chemnitz, Germany previous in AZ, CA, AL, NJ,
3,397 posts, read 8,541,988 times
Reputation: 6170
I don't have much hair on top, and I bang the top of my head on occasion and it leaves a little bruise. Whenever I go outdoors, I wear a hat during daylight hours...especially when I am in Tucson. Here in Germany, when I'm in the city, I can walk around in the shadow of buildings and not need to wear the hat as much. In Denver, the sun is very strong due to elevation and clear skies. A hat is your best friend, and it will cover up the scar at the same time.
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Old 06-16-2019, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Central Washington
1,291 posts, read 472,319 times
Reputation: 2148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wileykid View Post
Other people here will give suggestions on possible remedies to reduce the scarring, but for me, I would embrace the scar. It is who you are now. It is a reminder of what you have gone through. Any person who is shallow enough to think of you less because of the scar, is not worth knowing for me.
I have to agree with Wileykid, Rotse. I have a couple of scars on my head from various "youthful indiscretions" and I have been shaving my head smooth for over 20 years. I don't recall anyone ever asking or making any comments about them, so it really isn't a big deal. And the only time I will ever wear a hat is if I'm outside during a heavy snowfall, just to keep my melon from freezing.

I say "run what ya brung", and if anyone has a problem with it, just tell them to eat sh*t and go on about your business. And don't forget the sunscreen!

Sorry I can't give you any hints on how to hide a scar, my area of expertise is strictly limited to making scars.
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Old 06-16-2019, 01:17 PM
Status: "No longer very optimistic." (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
41,178 posts, read 50,967,054 times
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It is what it is, OP. You may be overly self conscious. I would just go on as always and try not to let it bother me.
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Old 06-17-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
28,135 posts, read 18,490,100 times
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Wear hats when appropriate. You don’t want to get sunburned there. And, you can certainly use hats as a fashion strategy.

But I think otherwise, just be yourself, and keep moving. I don’t imagine your scar will frighten children or scare strangers. And it will probably fade over time. The point is, try not to fixate on it, and live your life.

And be sure to count your blessings regarding your successful surgery.
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Nashville
3,534 posts, read 4,751,674 times
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I really appreciate people's help and input here as well as the compassion. It was already tough battling all the injuries I have had for my work and going bald I always felt definitely took away a lot of my beauty. Now with the frankenstein scar on side of my head I am even more self-conscious.

But, like others said I just have to accept it. I've already pretty much thrown the towel in the dating world anyway; with the scar i just feel it is even more of reason to not worry about being attractive anymore. I worry it will scare women away.. Being 200lb bald guy I already felt like I could look intimidating even though I smile a lot and try to look friendly. I feel with the scar I will be just too intimidating looking. Picture a little chubbier (though been losing a lot of weight now, down to 36 in waist) and shorter version of Bruce Willis (assuming he actually is 6ft) with a big scar on side of his head.


I will maybe after a year start giving my full head sun exposure for short periods of time. I usually basque in the sun with my head 30 minutes a day and then cover it. A pale bald head doesn't look good anyway and I like getting it a bit darker gradually without burning my skin. I take a lot of collagen and other supplements and I don't sunburn very easily and tend to just gradually get darker, except in Colorado where the sun is brutal. Even then, I can tolerate the sun better than many people. I know if my head got tanned the scar would look much less noticeable.


I might also consider shaving my head and just leaving that little patch to grow out a little more. It will look weird, but not as weird as that big scar. The scar is still pretty red and has a little scabbing on it still. Maybe it will start to fade after a year. Some also tell me my patchy head looks better than when it is shaven, but most people say never grow out patchy balding hair..


I'm a hat wearer and even when I had a full set of hair I loved wearing hats. But everyone says people these days, especially women, hate men who wear hats. Although, Colorado ball caps are definitely vogue; I am not sure about the Southeast where I will be moving. To be honest, I love wearing fedoras, suits, sports coats and if I had more money and didn't live in Colorado (wear people dress really bad) I'd probably be much more dapper. Too bad fedoras are no longer in style, as I look real good wearing them, but they would just mostly get me chuckles when I wear one these days. I'm also Jewish, so I still have the luxury of wearing a fedora during services (which are very popular), but that is about the only time I am allowed or it is feasible to wear one.



Thanks again for people being compassionate and helpful
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Old 06-17-2019, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
9,657 posts, read 5,394,655 times
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A scar wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker for me. It would just be superficial. If someone is offended by a scar.. probably not the one you’re looking for to begin with. Bald can be sexy, a scar can be ruggedly sexy looking too. Yum!
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Old 06-17-2019, 08:14 PM
 
578 posts, read 170,267 times
Reputation: 1104
I had great success with a silicone patches after surgery on my arm after I broke it. The brand I used was called ScarAway. It takes several weeks and it won't erase a scar, just make it less noticeable. You can wear a patch for two weeks (you should wash it daily) but I usually only wore mine for a week before they started falling off. I think there are 8 to a box and they recommend wearing them for at least 16 weeks.

I also did the scar massage you are talking about (I used pure coco butter) but you have to complete wash off any creams and such to use the silicone. Early on, I just rubbed the silicone patch a lot.

Like I said, I still have a scar, but it's very faint now (it got much better). I am sure yours will too (even if you do nothing).

I would be careful with tanning, it may make it worse. Sometimes scarred skin won't tan at all. The result might be the scar stays lighter than the rest of your skin (making the scar more visible).
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Old 06-18-2019, 02:06 PM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
4,810 posts, read 2,300,236 times
Reputation: 9965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
A scar wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker for me. It would just be superficial. If someone is offended by a scar.. probably not the one you’re looking for to begin with. Bald can be sexy, a scar can be ruggedly sexy looking too. Yum!
OP, I was going to say something similar as a bald man, but it likely means more coming from a woman. Hers is not a rare opinion though, regarding scars. I mean, you're already bald, and some women won't find that appealing. But the scar might add more interest among women who are neutral or attracted to bald men.

Get your mind off your head.
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