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What I want is criss-cross straps in the back, like my bathing suits. But all I see are these "racer-back" styles.
Don't know WHAT it is about my anatomy, but ALL bra straps slide off my shoulders, no matter how jacked up tight I adjust them, till I can hardly get my arms in. The straps PULL so hard, too. Yes, these are expensive $70-ish items.
And dang underwires are excruciating (but I need them). I have spent hours and days shopping in the U.S. but nothing is comfortable. Often I wear a bathing suit top under my clothes but they are extra-padded (for ahem "other" reasons) so that adds bulk I do NOT need. I end up wearing the same 10 y/o bra for its comfort, but it is starting to fold over at the top, LOL.
Kind of a rant but if other busties want to chime in re the straps or general comfort, I'm (just about) ALL ears! :
What strikes me in your post is that you make absolutely no mention of going to a bra specialty stores. If you live in a sizable city, that's a good place to start.
You could also try writing the maker of the bra you like, tell that you love how well it's designed and ask if they have anything similar to recommend.
My 2 cents is that I also once went to a fitter and found out I needed a bigger band/smaller cup - try finding a 42B. I did, and it's got my other two requirements which are racerback/T back (and I don't give a hoot if you can see them with a wide neckline; it's not like you don't know it's there and as long as you get it in close to skin tone, it's not as bad as a lot of what I see happening) and front hook. Bali makes it, and I pay whatever it costs, which is less and less as the quality plummets. But no one should have to be a contortionist to put on a bra, I never have to pull straps up, and the fit makes me hate it, and its underwires, a lot less.
I had reconstruction surgery due to a birth defect. My specialist had a brassiere specialist consult with my being. Was respectful and informative. . I'd highly suggest contacting one of these consultants. Stay away from department store consultants. They can only sell what's in Stock and not what is durable for your physique.
What I want is criss-cross straps in the back, like my bathing suits. But all I see are these "racer-back" styles.
Don't know WHAT it is about my anatomy, but ALL bra straps slide off my shoulders, no matter how jacked up tight I adjust them, till I can hardly get my arms in. The straps PULL so hard, too. Yes, these are expensive $70-ish items.
And dang underwires are excruciating (but I need them). I have spent hours and days shopping in the U.S. but nothing is comfortable. Often I wear a bathing suit top under my clothes but they are extra-padded (for ahem "other" reasons) so that adds bulk I do NOT need.
I end up wearing the same 10 y/o bra for its comfort, but it is starting to fold over at the top, LOL.
Kind of a rant but if other busties want to chime in re the straps or general comfort, I'm (just about) ALL ears!
You're not wearing the right size. Go to a bra fitter and get sized properly. I thought I wore that exact size, 38DD. I was way wrong. I got fitted professionally and actually wear a 34H! Even my posture improved since I started wearing the proper size.
Ken answered and got shot down. Is it sexy or sloppy? "It depends"....
Unharnessed breasts: I at Medicare age (in 3 months) have begun to feel OK about braless yardwork, even in the front yard lol. I know younger women will say BFD but after a lifetime of keeping the girls harnessed it is a big deal to be braless in public when you are 38C.
When I was 20-30 I barely needed a bra, 34B. I never had children but at 30-something my breasts grew even though I stayed the same weight. 36B then 36C then (OK later a little more weight) 38C.
There are some clothes that allow no bra. I remember wearing a top that was not risque but no bra could be worn. A younger woman complimented me on the top but I saw where she was looking and it wasn't a girl crush on me it was how the top looked.
I do NOT want to look sexy going braless. I just want to be comfortable.
Soon I'm gonna be the braless version of red hat ladies as in IDGAF. There is no law about "gotta wear a bra" and I don't go to church. Watch out grocery stores, braless old lady coming your way.
Having gone through a bra quest recently and gone back to my original ones, I feel the OP's pain. My particular problem, being an older lady, is that what was once melons have become pancakes, and bras tend to be made for perfectly round, young breasts. When you're older and busty, but saggy, a round molded cup just isn't going to fit, and we need lining because no one wants to look at old lady nips. Here's what I found in my journey:
1) When a band binds, we have a tendency to buy a larger band size when often it's a larger cup that's needed.
2) Us busty ladies have to adjust everything for the band to fit properly. This can mean bending over to put the bra on when trying it on so all the side boob moves to the front.
3) Counterintuitively, what us saggy ladies need, even if we are busty, is a contour or push-up bra. This can be hard to find in larger band and cup sizes (like 42D). But the extra padding at the bottom kind of "fills in" what's lost.
4) Bra sizes are wildly inconsistent, even in the same manufacturer/style number. And don't get too attached to any one style number, because they WILL stop making them.
5) Too much cleavage means you need a bigger cup size. The center of the bra should fit flat against your chest.
6) Underwires ARE a tool of Satan.
5) Don't buy online until you pick a style you like. You will have to try on 1,264,062 bras before you find one that fits you properly.
It would be great to go braless, but not when you're old and fat like me and you have to get your girls their own shoes.
Gentlemen, be very, very careful about encouraging women to go braless. You might get to see your wish and I'm not paying for your resulting therapy.
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