Low class and trashy to wear baseball caps in restaurants? (professional, remove)
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Seeing people sitting at restaurant tables wearing a baseball cap has bothered me for years now.
It seems to be an American thing? I'm American but parents are Canadian. I'm a white gay male, almost 61, if that matters. Haven't been to a Canadian restaurant in years but maybe it's prevalent there as well -- and in Britain, Ireland, Australia, France, Sweden, Netherlands, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Russia, Brazil, etc.?
I've been near bald and gray for years so would likely benefit from covering my head with a cap of any kind. I'd like to but don't want to disappoint strangers if I remove it. But if I wore caps, I'd remove it in a sit down restaurant....even chains like Applebee's, Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, steakhouses, Ruby Tuesdays, etc.
I met an elderly couple visiting here in Boston ten years ago, and I actually asked about their views on certain American customs. And I told them my views on ballcaps, and they agreed, saying it's considered low-class in Ireland to wear a baseball cap, at least then...and I think they meant in general, not just in restaurants. Not sure if most everyone there feels that way then and now, or just older folks or certain socioeconomic backgrounds.
Plus, they're filthy! How many people EVER wash them in a sink or a washing machine? So they'll shower, brush their teeth, apply deodarent -- but then wander into decent establishments with these filthy baseball caps!
It seems to me mainly a male thing, but of course women in America wear ballcaps, especially on weekends to the grocery store with a ponytail sticking out.
Maybe it's my age or snobiness at times. But I believe even 50-60 year olds and older are wearing baseball caps? A socioeconomic quirk more than poor taste? Nothing to do with socioeconomics, class or age at all?
And I admit that some or many of these folks are richer, more educated, more popular and better looking than me! So who am I to set modern American etiquette in the first place, right?
Does anybody here actually agree with me?
I'm sure some or many athletes and celebrities are seen in decent public places on gossip sites wearing baseball caps, especially on weekends. So it's likely our American culture now, and I may seem foolish to many or all of you for even noticing, never mind complaining, about such "trivial" matters?
(Wasn't sure which subforum to place this so submitted it here. Sorry if it's the wrong place.)
Depends on the restaurant. If it is a sports bar/restaurant I don't see an issue. Fancy restaurant absolutely not. Seaside restaurant sitting outside, fine but inside take it off.
Love that. I feel exactly the same way. I went out with a guy once that picked me up for dinner wearing a ball cap. He never took the damn thing off the entire night.
To answer the question in the headline ("Low class and trashy to wear baseball caps in restaurants?"), NO!
I do not see baseball caps as being inherently low-class or trashy, when worn in restaurants. There are all sorts of contextual issues to be considered. There certainly ARE low-class and trashy baseball caps. But also, there are beautiful, classy-looking baseball caps.
There's the restaurant, to be considered. And one should consider the time of day, as well as the occasion - and, I suppose, the company.
I would much rather look at a man in a baseball cap, than look at a man with noticeable hair product, or a man with backward-combed hair, or a man with a bad hairline, or a man whose face needs to be shielded from unflattering downlighting.
Ugly hairstyles, and Male-pattern Hair Loss (a surprise dividend of the carb-laden diet of the industrialized world), were boons in society's leaders' fight against masculine beauty.
I have to say, that the business of forcing a man to take off his hat, as a sign of submission or "respect", was pure genius. In so many cases, this forces a man to make himself unattractive, by revealing his hair loss, and/or exposing his face to raking light from a bad angle.
Some men look good without hair. But most men aren't Sean Connery. And I don't see why they are expected to put themselves at a disadvantage, if they don't want to.
I get to frame my face with a Graduated Bob-cut. My hair shields my face from unflattering light angles. And I have the option of wearing a whole array of hats, if I want to - pretty-much anytime, anywhere. I could wear wigs, too, and nobody would be allowed to say anything catty about it.
How is this fair, for me, but not for men?
When we were crawling out of the gutters in which we were born, we studied the how-to-dress books for men - wondering how best to package my husband. In essence, the "experts" told us that men should look like colorless, sexless, anonymous and interchangeable beings. Luckily, they also told us that businessmen should only wear boxer shorts, which was so obviously stupid (from a logistics and decency standpoint) that we began to question the books' other precepts.
So, when told, by the how-to-dress-books, to have my husband's hair short and "styled" and "controlled", we rebelled, and kept his abundant blue-black mane. As it turned out, looking like Mark Gastineau, did NOT impede his ascent. If anything, it helped. His bangs, apparently, were an advantage. Possibly, DH's hair was an unfair advantage - both because it made him so much more attractive than other guys, and because his combining that hairstyle with fine Italian suits, Italian loafers, and a spectacular weightlifter's body, clearly signaled that he was too important to be subject to the dress code to which other men were expected to conform.
A baseball cap, offers many of the same advantages, to a man, as do a headful of thick hair, and down-to-the-eyebrows bangs. Because of its bill, a cap is flattering. A baseball cap conceals and prevents much of what's UNflattering.
DH, maybe because of his Native American ancestry, or maybe because of diet, exercise, and twice-daily shampooings, has, so far, kept his hair. But what about other men? Should they be expected to display their most visible flaws and vulnerabilities... just... because? ...because somebody made up some rules?
And, as far as dating goes, I would think that what I've said would apply doubly. A guy wants to be seen in the best light. He cares how he looks to you. He wants to be sexually desirable to you.
Plus, they're filthy! How many people EVER wash them in a sink or a washing machine? So they'll shower, brush their teeth, apply deodarent -- but then wander into decent establishments with these filthy baseball caps!
I work in the outdoors for a living as a guide and have to wear a hat, especially as I work in the relentlessly sunny American Southwest a mile+ abouve sea level.
I wear caps (and wide brimmed canvas hats (Tilley)) as well and wash them frequently in the sink, as washing machines can destroy the brim. Do others wash their hats? I should think they either wash them or replace them frequently because you can tell when they are never washed. They become absolutely filthy and disgusting, observably so from a distance. I rarely see hats like that except on laborers like farm hands/ranchers, construction workers, etc. And I virtually never see people in hats that filthy in social settings like restaurants. Outside the burrito truck maybe. Perhaps this lack of hat hygeine is characteristic of the Boston area?
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Originally Posted by bostonguy1960
Maybe it's my age or snobiness at times.
I am going with the latter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Baseball caps don't exist in Russia. I suspect they're rare to nonexistent in the other bolded countries, too.
They are increasingly popular with gopniks.
And the gopniks are emulating the equivalent subcultures in the bolded countries which themselves adopted baseball caps from the chavs in the UK.
Granted, these are subcultures and don't represent the mainstream, but baseball caps have been a thing in much of Europe for a while. And I actually see a fair few in Scandinavia even among mainstream, albeit younger (under 50) people.
Love that. I feel exactly the same way. I went out with a guy once that picked me up for dinner wearing a ball cap. He never took the damn thing off the entire night.
I never went out with him again. What a dolt.
he may have been insecure because he is hiding a bald head
I believe he was probably trying to give people an idea of his frame of reference. Sometimes, I'll do that too. Like "I'm a 63 yr old female, and these details might influence my thoughts...." It's saying "this is who I am, and maybe that's the reason I think the way I think."
ONLY, if it pertains to the subject matter. If it has something to do with it, then sure. But we're talking about HATS here. Now, if he said he was "bald" and was embarrassed about that, THEN I could see his rational. But, from where it stands now, my post was perfect. Gayness has ZERO to do with hats indoors. ZERO.
I don't see the big deal, and a reason to get caught up in with what other's wear. Seems incredibly petty and superficial.
Do you go to a restaurant to eat, or to critique other's wardrobe habits? If the latter, you might want to seek professional help.
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