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Because it looked so much better in it's natural state and he was a connoisseur of good looking women? He always loved for me to look pretty and he was always complimentary to me when I made an extra effort. I remember one time, I bought a new color of lipstick and I wasn't sure about it and he actually said "Can I tell you the truth? I think it's too dark." And it WAS too dark, which is why I wasn't sure about it! He was just good with things like that.
I don't know and he's dead so I can't ask him. I didn't feel pressured to promise it though.
I do the best I have the energy to do. I try to work out 6 or 7 days a week. I take meds for being a cancer survivor that age you...your skin, hair, etc. I try to take care of my hair. I don't do much to my skin anymore. It's so dry now. I did do a photofacial that zaps the dark spots. I am not sure if it's working as well this time as last. I also let her put a laser on my neck. It was prematurely wrinkling from radiation on one side. The jury is still out on how well it worked. We are moving to a more humid climate soon and I think that will help my skin. I noticed when I was there earlier this year, I didn't have to slather on the moisturizer, which was nice.
I still color my hair. But I stopped coloring it blonde. Now I am coloring it a slightly darker color. It pretty much highlights on it's own. I think the fact that I don't go super light makes it look more natural. I went to a new hairstylist and I don't know if she was blowing smoke up my ass or not but she asked me if it was natural. I think many women go too blond and it looks dried out, which ages you. I try to use lukewarm water on my hair, not super hot. I don't rub a towel on it to dry it. I do think I might go all gray someday, but not until it's all gray. Not that salt and peppery hair. When I started growing my hair after chemo, it was really just a dull brown with gray. So no. Not really for that yet.
I have a really hard time getting good quality sleep due to the meds I have to take. So that definitely ages you. I could improve my diet. I am not terrble, not great.
I have done a tiny bit of botox on the forehead now and then. Not every three months or anything. Never used any fillers.
So I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. Not overly obsessed. Not completely lazy about it. It's odd. I admire women who do nothing to their appearance and I also kind of admire those women who have it all together ALL the time.
I'm in my early 50s, and don't put much thought into my looks vs. my age at all. My goal is to stay fit and healthy, and look presentable. I'm chubby, but I've been chubby my whole life.
I don't wear makeup or dye my hair. I do paint my toenails in summer, because I think it's fun. I don't surround myself in people for whom high-maintenance looks are important. For fun I play team sports, play the drums, and mountain bike. I'm a dog trainer by profession, and wear scrubs to work. My lifestyle is such that I'm not going to spend time and money on trying to change my looks.
Female 50's. Ive embraced graying hair since I was 48. I have been told a colored bob can take 20 to 30 years off, but Im not buying it anymore, lol.
I also gave up makeup pretty much because it seems to emphasize shadows and wrinkles. I want to stay physically active as much as I can, and I will probably color my hair again just to change things up, but overall, I think its a downhill battle for anyone trying to look 25 until they die - even with fillers and Botox.
I know you can look healthy as you age. You can retain a natural cheek color simply by eating a healthy diet.
Eating collagen and supplementing ceramides can help. Eating or supplementing collagen can also help cartilage and joints.
Amlactin or ammonium lactate cream does wonders for dry flaky skin.
I think the best thing anyone can do to preserve their youth is to become comfortable in their own skin. I cant tell you how often I have been told that confidence is sexy.
One can achieve that with good nutrition / rest / hygiene, and a healthy lifestyle.
And be comfortable with the facts that:
~ before the age of 50, women age twice as fast as men.
~ but after 50 and 60 this process become three times faster.
The number keeps getting larger, but I don't feel much different than I did in my twenties. I don't actively fight aging, but I do try to take decent care of myself and like to dress well. I wear a bit of eye makeup and lip balm for everyday and I like to do a "full face" when the occasion calls for it, but other than that, my routine's pretty simple. Neutrogena bar for face washing, a moisturizer with sunscreen, once a month I'll use Biore strips, brush and floss at least twice a day, hair gets washed twice a week or so, and that's about it.
Looks-wise, I've had grey strands in my hair since I was in my mid-twenties (a family trait), but they really only show when I've wear my curly hair straight. I've toyed with the idea of coloring them, but since I don't really mind the gray hairs (they're nice and fine rather than wiry) and I get compliments on them when I've had a blow out (including from every stylist who's ever done my hair), I don't see the point in doing so. I'd rather spend the money on the occasional blow out anyway as I wear my hair curly when left to my own, everyday devices.
There are a few lines that show around my eyes, but those are about it so far as wrinkles and lines go. There are advantages to having good genetics combined with not really having seen the sun on a sustained basis since 1997 due to my work, lol. Back when laying out was a thing, I never could stand having the sun beat down on my face, so I used to put a towel over my face when doing so. Guess that habit has paid off in terms of spots and lines as a lot of my classmates who used to bake/fake bake themselves have skin that's showing the results of their past behavior.
My weight's never fluctuated dramatically over the years and like my mother, I stand/sit up straight, and tend to move with energy, so that helps to provide the illusion of youth to others (or so it seems. People always seem shocked when I tell them how old I am. I see the grey hairs in the mirror, so I know better!).
Something that Tasha wrote regarding her friend not wanting to laugh in order to prevent lines from forming makes me think of two things that my mother told/tells me:
1.) to make a concerted effort to *not* make that intense frown, i.e., the one that makes you wrinkle your forehead and particularly that space between your eyes. Neither my mom nor I have that line between our eyes or wrinkles on our foreheads, so perhaps taking that bit of advice was effective. No Botox necessary, thank goodness.
2.) To smile--it makes nicer wrinkles when you get old! She's right! At 78, Mom has a pleasant resting face with few wrinkles; at 44, the only wrinkles that I have are the slight crinkles that only show when I laugh and only then in the right light.
What has changed a bit is the overall texture of my facial skin, but at 44, that's to be expected and it really doesn't bother me all that much. Staying hydrated, getting rest, and staying active helps with that to a great degree even if that glow of pure youth has gone.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ukiyo-e
None of the outward signs of aging bother me, and I find it kind of sad that women are so trained to worry about their appearance so much - at any age.
Tho there is somebody that talks about being “trained” or told by her dad what to do about her looks...IMO this usually isn’t true or healthy. We aren’t dogs being “trained”. AND it’s not “worrying” to be confident & want to look or feel our best.
So...ofc I will continue it when I’m in my 40s & 50s or even older. It just means looking my best ...tho not trying to look younger or fight it. I’m not going to wear the same clothes & makeup in my 40s & 50s that I wear now. It will slowly change ofc...but it doesn’t have to be frumpy. We can still be fashionable. That’s what aging “gracefully” will mean to me.
Tho there is somebody that talks about being “trained” or told by her dad what to do about her looks...IMO this usually isn’t true or healthy. We aren’t dogs being “trained”. AND it’s not “worrying” to be confident & want to look or feel our best.
So...ofc I will continue it when I’m in my 40s & 50s or even older. It just means looking my best ...tho not trying to look younger or fight it. I’m not going to wear the same clothes & makeup in my 40s & 50s that I wear now. It will slowly change ofc...but it doesn’t have to be frumpy. We can still be fashionable. That’s what aging “gracefully” will mean to me.
I don't know who was talking about being trained so I'll let them speak for themselves if they want to. But I always appreciated my relationship with my dad and our honesty toward each other. I liked him and he liked me and we both (both) gave each other advice on what to wear or what looked good or bad or whatever. I clearly remember telling him one time, "Dad, I don't like when you wear that color - no offense, but I just need to tell you that." I also told my husband one time that I really really didn't like him in most reds (true). Neither of them ever wore those colors again to my knowledge.
I don't know about everyone's relationship with their dad but I felt like mine was healthy. We both respected each other and appreciated each other and simply LIKED each other, so it was fine with me to give and receive feedback on anything really - from dogs to vehicles to looks to whatever.
I miss him but I'm glad I had him in my life for 55 years.
If you weren't thinking of me when you typed this (which would be passive/aggressive but I digress), then just thanks for the little mosey down memory lane! (See, I know some pop psychology terms too!)
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 05-29-2021 at 09:04 AM..
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Tho why would your dad make you promise that?
