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If you go around dressing like a slob and think no one is judging you, think again. It takes a certain amount of planning and thought to be presentable every time you leave the house, and it's usually well worth it. If you look put together people treat you with more respect. That goes for the person behind the cash register at the supermarket, to your kid's teachers, and the person who's going to maybe hold the door for you instead of letting it slam in your face.
Yep, just like I might judge someone who always wears the latest fashion trends or is a label wh*re as shallow and vain.
If you go around dressing like a slob and think no one is judging you, think again.
I'm guessing every time someone sees me, they're making a judgment. Sometimes, it's positive. sometimes probably not. Thing is, when we're talking about random strangers on the street, I really don't have the time, energy or desire to worry about what they think. If they approve of my "look", great. If they don't, we'll just both keep on walking.
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Originally Posted by clevedark
It takes a certain amount of planning and thought to be presentable every time you leave the house...
This part I'll agree with...
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Originally Posted by clevedark
...and it's usually well worth it.
...and this part I don't. Let's take apart the examples you provided.
The grocery checker? They, themselves, are usually neither dressed up or dressed down. They are clothed, period. Honestly, given that many people treat them as if they were invisible, I think I register good vibes by saying "hello" and asking how their day is going. I try to make cordial small talk. I'm generally rewarded with warm smiles. I think treating them with respect makes a much better impression than walking in dripping in make-up and jewels.
My son's teachers? They were always dressed very nicely. When I went to school, whether for conferences, outings, parties (I spent a few years as Class Mom ), I was always dressed appropriate to the occasion. Jeans and sweaters for games, tailored slacks and tops for conferences, that sort of thing. When I need to Dress to Impress, I do. Otherwise, I don't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clevedark
...and the person who's going to maybe hold the door for you instead of letting it slam in your face.
I'm a grown woman. I can hold the door for myself. If someone deliberately slams the door on me, I think it says more about who they are than it does about what I'm wearing.
Bottom line: I can't spend any significant part of my life worrying about the opinions of random strangers regarding my choice of clothing. Likewise, I hope they aren't losing sleep worrying about my opinions about their choice of fashion. Life's too short to spend so much time obsessing over clothes, hair, nails, make-up and whatever. Especially over someone else's clothes, hair, nails...
I'm sorry-I guess I'm old school. I agree with the previous poster who said that people are so self-absorbed, all they care about is their own personal comfort (I'm not talking jeans and a t-shirt or even a matching sweat suit-I'm talking about the frumpy, falling off pajama clothes people pass off as clothes nowadays). It's like how a lot of people just stopped writing thank you cards or bringing a hostess gift when they go to a party. The level of formality or proper manners has fallen to an all-time low IMHO. Dressing like you don't give a c**** is just a symptom of a bigger problem in our society.
By the way, women and men-don't show your undergarments!!! I hate seeing men wearing pants drooping to their knees or women with their thong, bra, or nipples hanging out. Totally disrespectful!
Remember in the 70's when every store had the sign "no shirt, no shoes, no service"? I don't think it's wrong for a store to expect a certain level of cleanliness and neatness of appearance when people shop.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay F
Has there been a frump movement over the past 10-15 years? I see a lot of frumpy looking women who only dress for comfort without consideration for appearence, fashion, sexiness, etc. I see lot's of women wearing tattered sweats and worn out sneakers. They wear little or no makeup and have flat hair. Maybe women think they are empowered by dressing so casually and putting no effort into their appearence? I think it's just the opposite, when a woman looks her best it gives her power.
I wonder if this frump/casual trend is unique to American/English speaking culture? Sometimes I shop at a Mexican supermarket and the women (mostly recent immigrants who speak Spanish) are all dressed up just to go to the market! It's so nice to be in that atmosphere with all the women trying to look pretty. I have seen pictures of Russian women and they dress feminine when out in public as well.
If you agree there really is a frump movement do you think it's here to stay or will it ever reverse itself?
I wouldn't have brought up any one race/heritage but since you did, I shop at a Mexican outlet because they have great prices and it looks like a welfare recipient convention in there on most days. I don't think it has anything to do with being American, Mexican, Russian, Indian, whatever.
Maybe some women are just sick and tired of having to compete with the fantasy expectations so many men have of women from Hollywood. Maybe they figure, WTH is the use? I'll be dress for me.
As for makeup, I think less is better. A good skin care regime can go so much further than makeup.
Personally, I don't like sweats, jeans, etc., for myself. I like to dress up too. But I don't like strangers putting expectations on me for how they think I should look either.
I'm sorry-I guess I'm old school. I agree with the previous poster who said that people are so self-absorbed, all they care about is their own personal comfort (I'm not talking jeans and a t-shirt or even a matching sweat suit-I'm talking about the frumpy, falling off pajama clothes people pass off as clothes nowadays). It's like how a lot of people just stopped writing thank you cards or bringing a hostess gift when they go to a party. The level of formality or proper manners has fallen to an all-time low IMHO. Dressing like you don't give a c**** is just a symptom of a bigger problem in our society.
By the way, women and men-don't show your undergarments!!! I hate seeing men wearing pants drooping to their knees or women with their thong, bra, or nipples hanging out. Totally disrespectful!
Remember in the 70's when every store had the sign "no shirt, no shoes, no service"? I don't think it's wrong for a store to expect a certain level of cleanliness and neatness of appearance when people shop.
Personally (in bold letters), I don't care. I have far more important things on my mind than to worry about what someone else is wearing. The grocery store is not a fancy restaurant...if someone wants to go to the grocery store in their PJ's, more power to them. I don't care...I do not care. Why should anyone else?
I can relate to spiderbear... when I put on dresses, skirts, heels... I attract too much attention. It doesn't matter that we have our wedding rings on, some guys just don't care and hit on us anyway. I try not to look "frumpy", but I try not to dress too attractively, either. I try to find a comfortable, presentable, happy-medium. My husband prefers me without makeup - so that's one less thing for me to worry about! He also likes my hair long and natural - he can't stand hair that looks like it's got all kinds of chemicals and goop in it, so I keep my hair long and natural, too, not just for him but because it's super simple and easy for me, too. But as for clothes... I feel like I'm always sort of walking on edge. I actually do love wearing dresses and skirts - especially in the warmer months. I find them to be really comfortable and my husband's hands feel good on me when I wear them! But I try not to pair them with heels or things that would be too sexy or anything, because in the past when I did I learned that it just attracted too much attention that I really got tired of having to deal with. If my husband and I are going out, I'll wear heels, but if it's just me out running errands or whatever, I'll wear sandals or flats or boots with tights if it's cold outside.
Sweats aren't real clothing? Have I been running around nekkid all these years?
You've been running around in pajamas, made to sleep or lounge around the home in, not to step foot in public wearing.
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Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81
How can you judge what people would wear to the ballet based on what they wear to the grocery store? Oranges and apples. Uh. Pun intended.
Please work on your reading comprehension. I've seen people go the ballet in jeans & shorts, so there's no assumption. It was an example of how people do not dress appropriately.
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Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81
And just what value exactly should one place on going to the grocery store or the dry cleaners? How should one dress when one takes one's car to the shop? Do tell.
A public place is not your home, so clothing that is not pajamas is what is appropriate. By not even wearing clothing made for public, you're sending the message that you cannot be bothered to get dressed. I've already explained the general attitude that projects.
It also seems these people providing services are nothing but objects to you. Even your wording suggests that by referring to the value of the service, and not realizing there is human interaction involved.
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Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81
The message is: If someone is going to judge me based on what I'm wearing, I don't think I want to know that person; therefore, I don't give a rat's behind what that person thinks about me.
Case in point. Someone who thinks it is all about them and has no interest in making a good impression on others.
How can some of you claim not to care what people think of your clothes when you are on a FASHION AND BEAUTY forum?
And, yes I do care what people think but I care more what I think - I really like to look good for myself first - now I mean nice - flattering jeans, clean top, styled hair and a tiny bit of makup - I am not talking high heels and a beehive.
And my husband likes to look good for me too - he works out and styles his hair - I am glad he is not like the slobby men I see out there - with big guts spilling over their pants, and nose hairs a mile long.
You've been running around in pajamas, made to sleep or lounge around the home in, not to step foot in public wearing.
Please work on your reading comprehension. I've seen people go the ballet in jeans & shorts, so there's no assumption. It was an example of how people do not dress appropriately.
A public place is not your home, so clothing that is not pajamas is what is appropriate. By not even wearing clothing made for public, you're sending the message that you cannot be bothered to get dressed. I've already explained the general attitude that projects.
It also seems these people providing services are nothing but objects to you. Even your wording suggests that by referring to the value of the service, and not realizing there is human interaction involved.
Case in point. Someone who thinks it is all about them and has no interest in making a good impression on others.
Why should she (or anyone else) care about making a good impression on a bunch of people 1) they don't know and 2) they'll probably never know?
Obviously, if someone wore pajamas or sweats to a fancy restaurant, that'd be different, but anywhere else...who the f**k cares, seriously?
My comprehension is just fine, thanks. It's the feeble attempts at logic that I'm having trouble with.
Quote:
It also seems these people providing services are nothing but objects to you. Even your wording suggests that by referring to the value of the service, and not realizing there is human interaction involved.
And most of the time those providing the service are dressed similarly as I am, if they're not dressed even more casually.
Quote:
Someone who thinks it is all about them and has no interest in making a good impression on others.
Who else is my wardrobe about, if not me? Duh.
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), I was always dressed appropriate to the occasion. Jeans and sweaters for games, tailored slacks and tops for conferences, that sort of thing. When I need to Dress to Impress, I do. Otherwise, I don't.
Have I been running around nekkid all these years?
