Ladies over 50: at what age did you suddenly look much older? (product, brown)

[sarahkate_m]

Originally Posted by hautemomma

I am probably unqualified to really respond to this thread, but I will say that I look about 8 years my junior, like I belong in college when I am actually in the next life phase. Most African-American women I know age extremely well; this is especially true for those of us who make an effort to take care of ourselves (e.g. eating right, working out). My grandmother just starting getting wrinkles, and she turns 80 this year. My mom, who is almost 60, still has no wrinkles. Many of my white peers, I've noticed, start wrinkling (usually around the eyes and/or mouth) in their late 20s, sometimes early 30s. I know they cannot help it, but I thank God I am protected by my melanin!

It seems to me that women of African & Asian descent age beautifully.

I'm of neither descent & come from people who age gracefully, yet not to the same degree of grace as aforementioned women.

It does seem kind of sad to see my better looking days pass me by. However it is very curious to see hints of my elders in my appearance. Like I can see my grandmother's eyes in mine now. Some people say I look alot like my mother but I was never brought up to perceive myself like that.

One day, I just happened to have 3 photos out at the same time. One each of myself, my daughter & my mother, all around the same age, under 5 y/o. It looked like the exact same child in different eras.

The wierd thing is that no one in my family would ever agree because of small differences like a lack of identical eye/hair color. I never had the pride of looking like anyone in my mother's family while growing up. However, I can share it with my daughter.

As she ages, her looks take on different aspects of each side of her parentage.

Kate

[RogueMom]

There are many over 40, or over 50 women who are still very attractive and I try to see them as role models. Dianne Sawyer, Diane Lane, Deborah Norville, Susan Sarandon, etc. These women are very classy looking, and seem to "own" their ages, instead of deny it. If they've had any "work" done, it certainly is restrained and not obvious.

What saddens me is to see the celebs (Mary Tyler Moore, Cher, Linda Evans are some examples) who apparently became so scared of aging that they have way overdone the facelifts and are now not just older, but plastic and creepy looking to boot.

[janetvj]

Originally Posted by gentlearts

A few years after menopause. Once you lose the hormones it's down hill after that. For me this was about 56. Sometimes, I get favorable comments like "Don't you ever age?", but most of the time I think I've gone from attractive to fat, old and ugly.
I felt about 35 until I was in my mid 50s, but now that I'm 60 I really feel my age sometimes.

I have had the same experience. Throughout my 30's and 40's people were always shocked to hear the ages of my kids because they estimated my age at about 10 years younger than my actual age. My oldest child was born when I was 19, so that made for some pretty surprised looks from people (in response to the reactions as a joke I used to tell them that the story in the National Enquirer about the 9 year old who gave birth was me!).

But I went through menopause in my early 50's and suddenly all of those years came crashing down on me. The folks who used to tell me how young I looked were instead telling me I looked tired, or asking did I not feel well. Very upsetting to hear when I wasn't either of those things.

At around the same time I was diagnosed with Graves Disease (causes over-active thyroid). The medication that I had to take really slowed my metabolism, and I packed on 40 pounds almost overnight. For someone who had always been known as the skinny one, that was hard to take. And the added weight has also aged me. A double chin doesn't help anyone look young!

I recently decided what the hell. I stopped coloring my hair and am letting it go gray, and have decided to just embrace my age and be happy with who I am. There are some societies that actually revere older people. I can pretend I live in one of those!

[miu]

Originally Posted by montanamom

I think the aging process is a whole ot harder on us if we were prized for our looks when we were young. I know my looks opened doors for me sometimes when I was younger, and I used it to my advantage.

It's hard to lose that "power". You start to feel you're becoming invisible somehow. That's hard when you were once a head turner, a homecoming princess, etc., I think that's why we see so many stars taking the plastic surgery to such an extreme. There looks were once their trademark. You have to find new things about yourself to cultivate and be valued for.

I adore my boyfriend's mother, and our only point of disagreement is that she believes that "a woman's face is her fortune" and I've heard her say that many times. In my family, we believe that our education and brain skills are our fortune. Our inner qualities are much more important that our outer packaging. And being one of three sisters and having no brothers, my parents never fussed over our looks... and I'm glad that they didn't. None of us need the validation of men admiring our womanly qualities in order to feel good about ourselves. And I feel sorry for any woman that feels that she is less desirable to the world (and men) as her youthful beauty fades away.

When I apply for a job or I am working at an antique show to sell my goods, it's not my looks that are a factor in my success. It's more a factor of my verbal and work skills, honesty, integrity and superior knowledge that get the job done. Plus I have a very positive outlook on life. My bosses and customers love my confidence, sincerity and sense of humour. I always give at least 110% to my efforts. And probably it's my maturity and sum total of my life experiences that have made me who I am. The 20-something version of myself wasn't as good as the person I am now. I also view myself as more of a capable human being and less as a woman. I don't bring my sex into most social and work situations.

Anyway, I hope to age as gracefully as Tina Turner... And what strikes me most about her is how big a smile she has on her face all of the time. She's also a physically active woman that likes to go hiking in her spare time.

[RaleighLass]

Originally Posted by in_newengland

I want to get the whitening strips--I can't afford to get it done by a dentist.
One time I read something like......a good looking older women always looks better than an ugly younger woman.......something like that. In other words, it's not all about age.

I see you posted this in Oct, a month ago, hope you see this(?). You can whiten your teeth cheaply and safely w/out dentist visit. I once read it in a women's magazine. it said to use ear wax remover..yep! It's the same stuff as the dentists uses only weaker. Just swish onto teeth, don't swallow it! I've used it and it works. Now if you want them blindly white and fake looking, then you'll need a dentist for that For more info, look at my tweets on twitter.com from Sept? I think. Search Raleighlass.

Thanks for these posts..as a woman over 50, I've enjoyed hearing your experiences and opinions

[miu]

Another observation and thought, ladies of 50, instead of comparing yourself to what younger women look like, instead look at the 50 year old men around you. Not movie star men, but just average men. IMO they look old, and in many cases, they actually haven't aged as well as us women with our moisturizers and sunblock. I just had lunch with a high school friend that I hadn't seen in over 30 years, and he actually is a couple of years younger than me... and he looks so old. If only he had been using sunblock, is what I kept thinking. He's still a dear person to me, but boy he looks a lot older than I am. I also don't think that he could do the kind of work that I do.

But part of life is the natural aging process. And being 51 in a few weeks, I really don't have any interest in competing against 20 year olds in the dating scene. I don't want to relate to every man on a purely sexual level of attraction. And the kind of men that are only interested in women with perfect youthful looks are not the type of men I want to be with. Instead, I want a man that appreciated the unique inner me, who is impressed with my knowledge of quirky things, my wisdom and commonsense, and my independent spirit. And actually, there are plenty of men that find me a very neat person.

[RaleighLass]

Originally Posted by miu

Another observation and thought, ladies of 50, instead of comparing yourself to what younger women look like, instead look at the 50 year old men around you. Not movie star men, but just average men. IMO they look old, and in many cases, they actually haven't aged as well as us women with our moisturizers and sunblock. I just had lunch with a high school friend that I hadn't seen in over 30 years, and he actually is a couple of years younger than me... and he looks so old. If only he had been using sunblock, is what I kept thinking. He's still a dear person to me, but boy he looks a lot older than I am. I also don't think that he could do the kind of work that I do.

But part of life is the natural aging process. And being 51 in a few weeks, I really don't have any interest in competing against 20 year olds in the dating scene. I don't want to relate to every man on a purely sexual level of attraction. And the kind of men that are only interested in women with perfect youthful looks are not the type of men I want to be with. Instead, I want a man that appreciated the unique inner me, who is impressed with my knowledge of quirky things, my wisdom and commonsense, and my independent spirit. And actually, there are plenty of men that find me a very neat person.

Totally agree with you! When I meet a man who is a few yrs younger to a few older than me (54), they look considerably older than their age. I find this influences how I gauge everyone's age now..in other words, I've become pretty bad at it. I will say, I don't compare myself to younger women, and agree w/you, if a man our age is into much younger women, then he is not a candidate for women our age.

I also am happy to put the days behind me where I judge my interest in a man on a sexual level or his attractiveness. Obviously this will need to be there on some level in a compatible relationship, but they are much lower on the list now. Wisdom, humor, quiet confidence, generosity of spirit are some of the traits I find most attractive in a man and value most. An older female friend once told me that most men are "grown" when they are in their late 50's ..she figured they were about 10 yrs behind us knowing themselves. Of course this is a generalization but I think she was pretty spot on.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by miu

Another observation and thought, ladies of 50, instead of comparing yourself to what younger women look like, instead look at the 50 year old men around you. Not movie star men, but just average men. IMO they look old, and in many cases, they actually haven't aged as well as us women with our moisturizers and sunblock. I just had lunch with a high school friend that I hadn't seen in over 30 years, and he actually is a couple of years younger than me... and he looks so old. If only he had been using sunblock, is what I kept thinking. He's still a dear person to me, but boy he looks a lot older than I am. I also don't think that he could do the kind of work that I do.Miu, the 47 year old men around me can't even walk as fast as I hobble with my walker & tennis balls.....lol

But part of life is the natural aging process. And being 51 in a few weeks, I really don't have any interest in competing against 20 year olds in the dating scene. I don't want to relate to every man on a purely sexual level of attraction. And the kind of men that are only interested in women with perfect youthful looks are not the type of men I want to be with. Instead, I want a man that appreciated the unique inner me, who is impressed with my knowledge of quirky things, my wisdom and commonsense, and my independent spirit. And actually, there are plenty of men that find me a very neat person.

Very happy to be my age, have acquired the wisdom from experience (be it good/bad) & don't have to worry about the inconsequential idosycracies of my youth.....

And, not quite look so bad for all the action either.

[Sambazon]

I've just entered my early twenties and have heard that these next 10-20 years are a crucial time to be taking good care of oneself for graceful aging.

I really hope to age like wine. Lots of people don't wish to live old but it's something I look forward to. I began growing whites on my head at the age of 12 (lol) and it looks awesome on my black hair. I'm praying it'll be a full-on streak by the time I'm in my 40's or 50's a la Stacy London.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by Sambazon

I've just entered my early twenties and have heard that these next 10-20 years are a crucial time to be taking good care of oneself for graceful aging.

I really hope to age like wine. Lots of people don't wish to live old but it's something I look forward to. I began growing whites on my head at the age of 12 (lol) and it looks awesome on my black hair. I'm praying it'll be a full-on streak by the time I'm in my 40's or 50's a la Stacy London.

you heard wrong; it's in your genes.