[beabea03]

So I have a dilemma on whether to stay in Florida or move back to Illinois. I am female and 27 years old. I have lived in Fort Myers for about 3 years and I do enjoy the winters here and I also like my job. I have a pretty cushiony life here, am able to pay my bills and have a small amount of disposable income. I'm also within 10-20 minutes from work and pretty much everything I use on a regular basis. I make okay money and there is some potential to change job positions or move up or around at work. I also have excellent job benefits and insurance. However, I only have a few work friends but no one that I hang out with after work. There are also quite a bit of work politics where I work.

So two years ago, at around the same time, my parents lost their house and had to get rid of their possessions and my dad passed away two months after that. So my mom is kind of bouncing around between staying at my brothers and her friends and she also goes overseas 6 months at a time to care for her parents. So my mom has no house and only receives ~$1200 a month which is not enough to afford rent or a mortage on her own. She cannot live with my brother because of his wife.

Whether I stay in Florida or move back to Illinois my mom has offered to put a down payment on a house for me in exchange for being able to stay there for 3-6 months out of the year and she will help with the house payments. Or she can move back overseas with her parents and potentiality lose the retirement/SS money she gets in the USA and we are worried because she is a permanent resident not a citizen.

I have been considering moving back to Illinois since last year but am unsure what to do. The reasons I want to move back are that I miss my family and I sometimes get lonely because my only friends are from work and we rarely hang out outside work because they are all married with kids and older than me. I also am more on the liberal and progressive side of things and most people around here are not.

I understand that no place is perfect, but if I move back up north I have the potential to be around family and friends. However, the cost of living in the Chicagoland area is more expensive and the traffic can suck.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[bmw335xi]

Only you can decide what you'd like more...

It's like asking... what food would I like more Pizza or Sushi

Just think deep, write out the pros and cons and decide...

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by beabea03

So I have a dilemma on whether to stay in Florida or move back to Illinois. I am female and 27 years old. I have lived in Fort Myers for about 3 years and I do enjoy the winters here and I also like my job. I have a pretty cushiony life here, am able to pay my bills and have a small amount of disposable income. I'm also within 10-20 minutes from work and pretty much everything I use on a regular basis. I make okay money and there is some potential to change job positions or move up or around at work. I also have excellent job benefits and insurance. However, I only have a few work friends but no one that I hang out with after work. There are also quite a bit of work politics where I work.

So two years ago, at around the same time, my parents lost their house and had to get rid of their possessions and my dad passed away two months after that. So my mom is kind of bouncing around between staying at my brothers and her friends and she also goes overseas 6 months at a time to care for her parents. So my mom has no house and only receives ~$1200 a month which is not enough to afford rent or a mortage on her own. She cannot live with my brother because of his wife.

Whether I stay in Florida or move back to Illinois my mom has offered to put a down payment on a house for me in exchange for being able to stay there for 3-6 months out of the year and she will help with the house payments. Or she can move back overseas with her parents and potentiality lose the retirement/SS money she gets in the USA and we are worried because she is a permanent resident not a citizen.

I have been considering moving back to Illinois since last year but am unsure what to do. The reasons I want to move back are that I miss my family and I sometimes get lonely because my only friends are from work and we rarely hang out outside work because they are all married with kids and older than me. I also am more on the liberal and progressive side of things and most people around here are not.

I understand that no place is perfect, but if I move back up north I have the potential to be around family and friends. However, the cost of living in the Chicagoland area is more expensive and the traffic can suck.

Any advice would be appreciated.

This is a difficult one.

Since your mother will not be there full time, her needs are not an issue, yours are.

Now being back with friends can be fun, but even 2 years may have brought about a change that means it is no longer "home".

As one poster said make a list and that includes costs and what you would make in each place and how much your mothers contributions would help. Figure all costs of any kind. Then see how that looks. Then do one on things to do and what you like best overall including weather and other nature type things if they are important. Maybe rate them from 1 to 5 and see what area gets the highest score. This may seem unfeeling, but the ratings will actually tell how you feel about them and after that you may find you wish to adjust a couple.

I did this last year for a move either to SoCal or FL and my wife and I after evaluating it decided on FL, even though I love SoCal and we were both born and raised there, the feeling was that we needed to look to the future not the past.

[Restrain]

You have to consider the rapidly raising taxes, the fact that the population is moving out of the Chicago area, and overall much higher cost of living. Add to that having to find a job that would give you a comparable living.

You have a good job, cost of housing and living is much lower here and you have met people here. That seems to be the answer.

[FloridaCT]

You spent three years establishing your life in Fort Myers, gradually making more friends as time passed by. On the other hand your mom is more flexible. Can your mom still receive the same retirement/SS if resided in Fort Myers where cost of living is lower than north? If so, and if your mom is flexible in relocation is it a possible option for her to move closer to you?

[kyle19125]

Originally Posted by beabea03

I have been considering moving back to Illinois since last year but am unsure what to do. The reasons I want to move back are that I miss my family and I sometimes get lonely because my only friends are from work and we rarely hang out outside work because they are all married with kids and older than me. I also am more on the liberal and progressive side of things and most people around here are not.

I understand that no place is perfect, but if I move back up north I have the potential to be around family and friends. However, the cost of living in the Chicagoland area is more expensive and the traffic can suck.

Any advice would be appreciated.

In my opinion you can't put a price on having family and friends nearby, nor the comfort of similar political leanings in these times where it has become so divisive. Consider that jobs will pay significantly more in Chicago than Fort Myers to offset the cost of living, and traffic is simply a nuisance which in the grand scheme shouldn't add up to many points against.

[jghorton]

Since your mother is only there 6-months anyway, ask her how she would feel about helping you with a down-payment on a house in your area ... and living there for 3-6-months per year. It doesn't sound like spending time with Chicagoland family will be a big thing for her (and you can always visit).

Your job, the climate, cost of living and no state and low property taxes are worthwhile advantages -- How will you feel about giving-up those things ... to be closer to family? There's your answer.

[Sunshine Rules]

Illinois just raised the personal income tax to just under 5% and that still will not address the major pension ($250 billion) and budget issues the state is facing. They owe almost $15 BILLION in overdue bills. This does not count their day-to-day operating expenses – this is money that should have already been paid out, but wasn’t.

Since I have family in Chicago, I will wade in on this one. The population of Chicago shrunk last year more than any other US city. My nephew and his family are soon to join that group, that is, if they can find someone to buy their Chicago condo. They are sick of the taxes (including high property taxes), the crime, the school system, the changing quality of life. However, right now the Chicago metro area has more homeowners seriously under water on their mortgages than any other metro area in the country. Last I read it was 17% and climbing.



Have you been home recently to visit? I am asking because when we first moved to FL from the midwest, we went back 2 years later for a 2 week visit and found that while it's nice to go home again, everyone had moved on with their lives and while they were happy to see us, things had definitely changed.

My other thought was have you tried finding local interest groups you could join to meet other, younger people in your area? Or meet up groups? Don't limit yourself to just coworkers.



Since mom can live either place, it really comes down to which location will make YOU happy in the long run.

[MrJones17]

I moved back to NY from FL once. Never again! The winters are not worth living there full-time. Although the heat can be oppressive and overwhelming in Fort Myers, you have a much easier lifestyle there than in Chicago.

I can't offer much advice about your mom's situation. That's sort of on her. If the lack of social life is really killing you, make the move, but don't forget about all that comes with living in the north. High taxes, higher population density, traffic, snow, snow, snowwww...

[cfbs2691]

OP - have you spent a week or more in Chicago recently?
At your age - more and more of your friends will get married and start families, so what you think it'd be like if you moved back to Chicago might not be accurate.
Have you joined meetup.com or any other social club to try and make friends?