[TANaples]

Sometimes time and absence heals all wounds. It did with my Dad when I first moved here. We never got along, to say the least, but he called me up one day the first time I came here 38 years ago, just to tell me that I would always have a home to come back to. I was 22 and single then. I cried my eyes out.

Yes, I did move back and that was a major reason. They are both long gone now. I am very happy that I made peace with him and was able to be there for them to both see their grandkids born, and that I was with them in the remaining years.

Now, I am on the other end of things. I so miss my daughters and want to be a part of their lives, and their future kids lives.

[Mt.SNOW]

Its a double edge sword huh. I do love my mom but I really do think that distance is what we all need right now, I have wanted to move for soooooo long, I am ready and I hope that eventually they will understand. I have a pretty ok relationship with my dad but we don't see each other that much, maybe thats why. Thanks, I know that we need to see it from all sides.

[Cant wait to move south!]

I am currently doing alot of research and am probably going to be moving to FL also=)..It will be just me and the bf..My youngest just turned 18..its my time now..I know I will miss them..but I am excitited for some year round warm weather..Im coming from Maine..where the weather and cost of living both suck!

[tercel95]

My GF and I moved to JAX about 4 months ago with all of our family still in MD... We are 21 and 20 respectively... It has ended up being one of the best decisions of my life but we do miss our families... It was nice having such a large support structure but we and our parents understand it was in our best interests... MD just has no affordable areas left...

[121804]

Originally Posted by amyflorida70

Just curious as to how many people move, and where they move its just your family only, my family is moving, planning to move as soon as my husbands job works out, but we have no other family in Florida, kinda scary, but at the same time kinda a relief, I love my mom but I am almost 40 and she is sooooo overbearing still, I have a 13 and 9 yr old and she is always trying to tell us how to raise them, and then the inlaws, omg now theirs a book to be told, father inlaw is about as crazy as they come, he is in his 60's and has his own hit list, nice. Anyhow my husband and I have wanted to move for years and everyone has talked us out of it, but not gonna happen this time, ready to live our own lives for us and not them. Kinda a wierd post but I was curious as to how many people miss thier families or moved because of thier families?

We were military, so there really was no choice at times. It's very hard.

Sounds as if you have a testy relationship with family. If you are able to explain the move to your children in a manner that does not necessarily insult the other family members(b/c that's not fair to the kids at the ages they are; sends mixed messages, etc).

I missed my family b/c I like my family. Once I had children, I just could never imagine having them so far from their grandparents, but my mom does not tell me how to live or even get involved with how we raise our children. When she watches our children, we respect that she can discipline as she see fit if indeed something happens and so on.

Most of our friends are military, so the constant moving & missing family is a common subject.

I would think that if lack a positive relationship with your family, moving may be a healthy decision. I went through a phase in my 20s where I thought my mom was the worst person on the planet...now, she is probably my best friend. As life happens & neither of you are on each other's cases, you can start to filter out the bad stuff and establish a long distance relationship. Over time, the wounds may heal and you will be able to communicate better. Whether or not you live 5 miles or 500 miles, YOU will feel much happier b/c of changes in your life.

Moving isn't going to solve the problems, but it will help you work them out b/c of the distance.

And keep in mind, how you handle this...your children are watching & observing and they are learning from YOU how to handle conflict.

Good luck in your choices. I think you know what to do

[Mt.SNOW]

Its kinda like that where I am, its a really small town but their are no jobs or opportunities, its all industial here and my little town is dying, as well as other small towns, they are sincerely turning into ghost towns. DH is in a factory in the office as tech support but it scares me about a month ago got rid of about 10 office people, hes in a different area but lowest on the scale. So that is the biggest reason we are looking on top of I can't take another cold winter.

[Mt.SNOW]

Originally Posted by 121804

We were military, so there really was no choice at times. It's very hard.

Sounds as if you have a testy relationship with family. If you are able to explain the move to your children in a manner that does not necessarily insult the other family members(b/c that's not fair to the kids at the ages they are; sends mixed messages, etc).

I missed my family b/c I like my family. Once I had children, I just could never imagine having them so far from their grandparents, but my mom does not tell me how to live or even get involved with how we raise our children. When she watches our children, we respect that she can discipline as she see fit if indeed something happens and so on.

Most of our friends are military, so the constant moving & missing family is a common subject.

I would think that if lack a positive relationship with your family, moving may be a healthy decision. I went through a phase in my 20s where I thought my mom was the worst person on the planet...now, she is probably my best friend. As life happens & neither of you are on each other's cases, you can start to filter out the bad stuff and establish a long distance relationship. Over time, the wounds may heal and you will be able to communicate better. Whether or not you live 5 miles or 500 miles, YOU will feel much happier b/c of changes in your life.

Moving isn't going to solve the problems, but it will help you work them out b/c of the distance.

And keep in mind, how you handle this...your children are watching & observing and they are learning from YOU how to handle conflict.

Good luck in your choices. I think you know what to do

Thanks for your advice, I definatly think this is the best thing, for us. My children are however very aware of how my dh's family unfortunatly they show their bad side to them also, so it makes things harder when they hurt my children, they are 13 and 9 but understand that the things that their grandparents do are very wrong.
I know I will miss my mom but shes gotta let me go sometime, I am 39, and need to live my own life.

My heart goes out to you, military life is very difficult at times, one of my very bf dh is also there and she has called hear crying because she is home alone with the kids, she lives in S.C. and her family is up north.

[hkg01]

Hi Amyflorida70,
I heard you loud and clear I have my only sister living in NJ and I live in NC.
I'm looking to moved back to Nj after 10year to be closer to her. I have two kid on my own and my sister is planning to have kid soon and I want to be there for her.
Best of luck!!!

[Mt.SNOW]

Thank you hkg01. Hope all works out well.

[jmebeckman]

My husband and I just moved last month from Minnesota to Amelia Island, Florida. It was very hard for me. I still cry all the time, but it does get better every day. I am very close to my family, so that was the hardest thing. We do not know anyone down here at all. My husband got a job down here so thats why we moved. All I can say is keep in touch with them! The ladies in my family have "morning coffee" where we all email eachother in the morning while we are enjoying our coffee, just to say what we have planned for the day and stuff like that. It really makes you feel like you are just a few miles away. Good luck.