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Old 10-03-2011, 11:38 AM
 
4,076 posts, read 2,162,553 times
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DH and I do enjoy cooking for friends and don't even expect/demand reciprocation since some don't know or don't enjoy cooking. And a couple of these friends have always been too clueless to send an e-mail afterwards to thank us.

But within the past six months, even those who used to call or send an e-mail have stopped doing so! Has this practice really become obsolete? Are people really so busy that they can't take one minute to send off a quick two sentence e-mail?

Of course everyone thanks us as they are leaving. And most bring wine or dessert. But we had two elderly neighbors come for dinner for the second time. The first time they each brought something and called us afterwards. The next time, nothing was brought and there was no follow-up call.

I know what my choices are: either suck it up and just focus on the pleasure of their company and my ability/energy/interest in cooking or stop doing it if it bugs me that much. But I'm just curious as to what other peoples' guests do or don't do...
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Heading to the NW, 4 sure.
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Most folk's we have over just say Thank you after the meal etc. Very seldom do we ever get a written T.Y. etc. Maybe 1 in 7. We don't have guest's as often as we used to do, but still the same results.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
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I imagine that people like you (and me) who do most of the entertaining because we enjoy it, know how nice it is to get an email or phone call the next day or so. Folks who don't entertain much probably don't realize that it is important for them to do that.
Anyway, if you have us over I'll email you and tell you how much we enjoyed your hospitality.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:57 PM
 
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Thanks, GA! It's a deal....

And yup, I guess you are right---it's kind of self-selecting....those of us who give our time and energy to cook for people would also give it to thank people, whereas those who don't do one may not do the other.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunter Wold View Post
Most folk's we have over just say Thank you after the meal etc. Very seldom do we ever get a written T.Y. etc. Maybe 1 in 7. We don't have guest's as often as we used to do, but still the same results.
^^^ That's been my experience, too.

In my experience, a lot of people express their appreciation by bringing something (wine, dessert, flowers, etc.). A smaller number show appreciation by reciprocating with an invitation to eat with them.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:49 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,267,419 times
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Originally Posted by jazzcat22 View Post
And most bring wine or dessert. But we had two elderly neighbors come for dinner for the second time. The first time they each brought something and called us afterwards. The next time, nothing was brought and there was no follow-up call.
In this particular case (elderly guests) I'd call them and make sure everything is OK. Like my lasagna didn't do them in.
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Inman Park (Atlanta, GA)
21,870 posts, read 15,113,446 times
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This is how I thank someone that has me over dinner or a party:

If I have never been invited to your house previously, I write a handwritten note. Sometimes I even send an email the next day and follow-up with my handwritten note.

If I have been to your home previously, I always send a follow-up thank you email.

If you tell me not to bring something to contribute to dinner, I bring a bottle of wine. If I contribute something for dinner, you still get a bottle of wine as a host/ess gift.
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:03 PM
 
10,135 posts, read 27,532,224 times
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They should write a little thank you note. That way they don't take any of the hosts time or waste any of theirs, and they avoid any awkward efforts of trying to think of new stuff to say to people you just spent the evening with. All it has to say is "We so enjoyed your dinner party last Friday. I can't recall when we had such a delicious meal and great company. Regards, The Smiths."
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:07 PM
 
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Hey, George, you sound like my type of guest! Want to come to Lawrenceville for dinner?

Wilson, your thank you note is perfect. Elegant in its simplicity. That's all that's needed.

And I guess that's my point. If I can take hours to make a meal, clean up, and socialize inbetween, I just can't understand why people can't take that 20 seconds to send off a note like that (e-mail is fine).
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
62,006 posts, read 87,675,913 times
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There was a time when manners and etiquette were not only taught daily, they were expected of everyone. Unfortunately this is not the case any more. Nowadays lots of people think that etiquette and manners are obsolete and archaic.
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