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SO can cook and is pretty good at it. But - the clean up))
My father knew which end of a can opener hurt. He was a very picky and demanding eater. In a way he made us learn how to cook.
Being that I'm in my late 50's, that's how I was brought up and I abided by those rules when I was with my husband for 25 years, but I also did his chores and I much prefer the men's chores that I can do over cleaning and cooking.
When I had to go back to work, he felt it was still my "job" to do everything. I was working 60-70 hours around the holidays and I decided to go on strike because I just couldn't do everything along with raising kids. He helped a tiny bit after that, but it was better than nothing.
After I divorced him, I met a man that was actually a very cooperative household partner. He loved to cooked and we cooked together sometimes. We always did the cleaning together. We did his chores together. He was more than rewarded for the effort he put forth in the relationship. He made the best steak on the grill and also the best potato salad I've ever had. He was my age and he amazed me at being such a good partner. We did break up though after 6 yrs.
I dated for the next 2 years and every man was of the old fashioned mind set. I chose to quit dating for many reasons, but that was a major issue.
I now enjoy my life being single and not having to cook or clean to impress someone. I'll take mowing the grass, painting, detailing my car, and using my power tools as needed over "women's work" any day.
Don't get me wrong, I do love men and maybe in my old age, one will come along that is a true partner.
I choose not to be Suzy Homemaker anymore and I'm happy to be retired from that position. Some women love to do those things, I'm just not one of them.
It has always been my position since becoming married (life sentence ) that housework is a 50/50 deal with no chores set as male/female. If on half is working and the other half is stay at home then the work load shifts more onto the person not getting up every morning to leave for work.
24 years ago after we'd been married a while I had a conversation with my better half (who was staying home) that if my job was to go out and earn to the tune of 60 hours + a week then her job was to take care of the house instead of waiting for the weekend and harping on me to do my "half". I still helped out but y'all get my point. When the roles were reversed and she was getting up to go to work and I was at home I followed what I preached.
Cooking was always shared, I was never one of those that demanded "my dinner be on the table at 5" types, cooking in my opinion is NOT a chore but something that has to happen daily for everyone to survive (unlike vacuuming or laundry) unless you're rich enough to go out or hire a cook and something that can comfort the emotionally worn out,warm the cold/soul and heal the ill (or make sick depending on how good or bad you are at it ).
My husband likes to cooks, he makes his own meals and I make mine(I'm vegetarian and he's not which is mainly why) but sometimes we cook together also. I think it's great for men and women to cook, it's a great skill to have and a career if they can do well at it. We are both mid 20s.
It has always been my position since becoming married (life sentence ) that housework is a 50/50 deal with no chores set as male/female. If on half is working and the other half is stay at home then the work load shifts more onto the person not getting up every morning to leave for work.
24 years ago after we'd been married a while I had a conversation with my better half (who was staying home) that if my job was to go out and earn to the tune of 60 hours + a week then her job was to take care of the house instead of waiting for the weekend and harping on me to do my "half". I still helped out but y'all get my point. When the roles were reversed and she was getting up to go to work and I was at home I followed what I preached.
Cooking was always shared, I was never one of those that demanded "my dinner be on the table at 5" types, cooking in my opinion is NOT a chore but something that has to happen daily for everyone to survive (unlike vacuuming or laundry) unless you're rich enough to go out or hire a cook and something that can comfort the emotionally worn out,warm the cold/soul and heal the ill (or make sick depending on how good or bad you are at it ).
If my post suggested an attitude on my part, I apologize. That wasn't my intention. My intent was to be honest to the OP about the question he asked.
I applaud you for jumping in and and willingly doing chores without gender bias. I'm sorry that your wife harped on you on the weekends. I never harped on him because I did it myself.
I admire men that are a willing participant in all aspects of a marriage and home and you are one of them.
My BIL is 65 and has always been an awesome husband to my sis because she always worked. Their sons are in their late 30's and followed in their father's footsteps and I admire and respect them.
The question was a gender based question and I answered according to my experience.
Even though we've evolved and become better at not basing household chores on women, some people are "old school" and choose to continue to believe in that tradition. There are still women who choose not to work and stay at home.
I just wasn't as lucky as your wife to have a husband that had the ability to see that if he was working 40 hours and I 60, that he should at least pick up a little bit of the slack even after conversing with him about it.
Because of my experience, I now choose to do whatever I want to do and I'm happy in my decision.
I just finished watching a 6 episode show called Back in Time for Dinner. It's a UK show and it took a family of 5 and put them back in time to what people were eating in the 50s to the year 2000. Each day was a new year so ten days was a decade. After every decade, the kitchen, dining room, and living room was updated to what it would have looked like in that decade.
For the 1950s to the 1990s, the man of the house wasn't allowed in the kitchen. It wasn't until after 1990 that men, according to the research, were allowed to come into the kitchen and cook. Mind, this was in the UK.
But it was a fascinating show and I wish they'd do something like this in the US.
If my post suggested an attitude on my part, I apologize. That wasn't my intention. My intent was to be honest to the OP about the question he asked.
I applaud you for jumping in and and willingly doing chores without gender bias. I'm sorry that your wife harped on you on the weekends. I never harped on him because I did it myself.
I admire men that are a willing participant in all aspects of a marriage and home and you are one of them.
My BIL is 65 and has always been an awesome husband to my sis because she always worked. Their sons are in their late 30's and followed in their father's footsteps and I admire and respect them.
The question was a gender based question and I answered according to my experience.
Even though we've evolved and become better at not basing household chores on women, some people are "old school" and choose to continue to believe in that tradition. There are still women who choose not to work and stay at home.
I just wasn't as lucky as your wife to have a husband that had the ability to see that if he was working 40 hours and I 60, that he should at least pick up a little bit of the slack even after conversing with him about it.
Because of my experience, I now choose to do whatever I want to do and I'm happy in my decision.
No issue or apology needed, it's all good. I was just relating my experiences with my better half and how we did things all these years. Life is much easier when both people are rowing the boat instead of one rowing while the other just steers.
You guys are sly ones! Side note: the Mr. loves chicken cutlets so I made some for him today. He told me how delicious they were and added that he wasn't just saying it so he'd get lucky. I informed him that perhaps I made them because I wanted to get lucky
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
the 80's decade , definitely when most women entered the workforce, no longer stay at home mom breeders
men soon found out that women would reward them for cooking, and do it with enthusiasm, if he picked up
:P
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))
) that housework is a 50/50 deal with no chores set as male/female. If on half is working and the other half is stay at home then the work load shifts more onto the person not getting up every morning to leave for work. 
).
