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Family of 6 - parents early 40's, children 2,5,10 and 12. 10 year old has special dietary restrictions. They are spending 2K+ per month on groceries + another 200-500 per month on eating out and this MUST stop. The husbands salary is decreasing and he has come to me for "food advice" (which if you knew me is a total joke) hence, my HELP needed!
Wife is a SAHM who thinks nothing of chick-fil-a twice a week and starbucks runs. Doesn't coupon or meal plan. Buys all organic, GF stuff. Wife does NOT want to be told how to shop or what to do, but doesn't know that reality is about to hit - so husband is trying to be proactive with the fact that he and 12 year old daughter will be having to make the plan and then present it to the Mom.
I need as many full on meals that I can share with the husband. Grocery lists, ideas, suggestions all welcome. I am dear friends with the whole family, but the wife is very resistant to suggestion so the husband is going to just "take over" for a while at least until they see how things shake out.
Currently they are generally pretty good with breakfast, but the Mom is stubborn on the hot meal at lunch rule and she often makes hamburger helper or does a Braums run. I have told them both the children will not keel over from having a sandwich and chips.....but anyway....
Any and all help is welcome.
TIA
My only advice is to tell your friend to talk to his wife so they can sit down together and figure out their own financial/food issues and how to solve them, with each other.
I would not tell him anything at all outside of that, there is no logical reason for anyone to be involved in this marital issue. It only gives him ammunition to use with his wife when he says:
"But _______________ told me I should *tell you* _________" then the blame is shifted from him so she is not mad at him she is made at you or whomever else because you were the one who is saying she is doing things wrong.
Yeah. The wife will not want the interference - from the husband or the friend (OP). The kids won't like giving up the junk and fast food - and they sure as heck aren't gonna be thrilled with helping to prepare or clean up those meals.
And I would certainly resent ANY "friend" who thought they should get involved with my private finances! That's definitely a MYOB situation.
OP should advise the husband to seek professional help from a certified financial planner, qualified financial coach, qualified nutritionist or maybe a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace kinda thing. Maybe a marriage counselor, too.
Is someone Celiac? If not, spending more for GF foods is an unnecessary expense. Her decision to feed her kids Hamburger Helper suggest she’s not really all that concerned with feeding them organic diets. That said, good luck to her hubs on getting her to change direction there.
Do they have a Trader Joe’s nearby? They offer well-priced, good quality foods, most of which is sold under the TJ’s brand. It’s a well-known secret that many of their products are made by major manufacturers, just re-labelled for sale at TJ’s.
There are several sites that review TJ items to get them started. Here are a few: What's Good at Trader Joe's? Eating At Joes | A Trader Joe's Taste Testing Blog Trader Joe's - Chowhound
Membership to a big box store and Restaurant Depot would give them access to bulk items at discount.
Dollar stores have deals on common grocery store items and large ethnic markets, such as H-Mart have great prices on fresh produce and seafood.
Plant a vegetable garden.
I agree with those who have said DON'T GET INVOLVED!!!
Until Husband and Wife can get on the same page, you may think that you're helping with the food budget, but really you're playing marriage counselor. And that's a baaaaad idea!
I also agree Don't get involved!! It will be worse in the end especially if the wife is resistant. The husband needs to get a set of ..... Tell the wife this is the way it's going to be from now on !!! She does not need Starbucks or chick-Fil-A. She might want to consider getting a part-time job to help out. Bottom line: The wife needs to get on board with this and face the reality otherwise they may end up with creditors calling, foreclosure and what not. She obviously does not care if she's spending foolishly.
$83 dollars a day on food ($2500÷30 days). Wifey has some sort of bad habit. Unless they are dining on Lobster Thermadore and Châteauxbriand, something isn.t adding up.
jk is right ...this may not end well if you,,,being a female is trying to assist the hubby.... with a sahm....
she will get offended,,,its akin to giving him a back rub
If I valued my friendship with these people, I'd stay out of it. It won't end well.
That. ^^^
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