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Old 01-25-2016, 11:19 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,053,827 times
Reputation: 62662

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sjlcu View Post
Family of 6 - parents early 40's, children 2,5,10 and 12. 10 year old has special dietary restrictions. They are spending 2K+ per month on groceries + another 200-500 per month on eating out and this MUST stop. The husbands salary is decreasing and he has come to me for "food advice" (which if you knew me is a total joke) hence, my HELP needed!

Wife is a SAHM who thinks nothing of chick-fil-a twice a week and starbucks runs. Doesn't coupon or meal plan. Buys all organic, GF stuff. Wife does NOT want to be told how to shop or what to do, but doesn't know that reality is about to hit - so husband is trying to be proactive with the fact that he and 12 year old daughter will be having to make the plan and then present it to the Mom.

I need as many full on meals that I can share with the husband. Grocery lists, ideas, suggestions all welcome. I am dear friends with the whole family, but the wife is very resistant to suggestion so the husband is going to just "take over" for a while at least until they see how things shake out.

Currently they are generally pretty good with breakfast, but the Mom is stubborn on the hot meal at lunch rule and she often makes hamburger helper or does a Braums run. I have told them both the children will not keel over from having a sandwich and chips.....but anyway....

Any and all help is welcome.

TIA
My only advice is to tell your friend to talk to his wife so they can sit down together and figure out their own financial/food issues and how to solve them, with each other.
I would not tell him anything at all outside of that, there is no logical reason for anyone to be involved in this marital issue. It only gives him ammunition to use with his wife when he says:
"But _______________ told me I should *tell you* _________" then the blame is shifted from him so she is not mad at him she is made at you or whomever else because you were the one who is saying she is doing things wrong.
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
19,385 posts, read 27,654,653 times
Reputation: 36024
Quote:
Originally Posted by grampaTom View Post
Exactly what I was thinking!!!
Yeah. The wife will not want the interference - from the husband or the friend (OP). The kids won't like giving up the junk and fast food - and they sure as heck aren't gonna be thrilled with helping to prepare or clean up those meals.

And I would certainly resent ANY "friend" who thought they should get involved with my private finances! That's definitely a MYOB situation.

OP should advise the husband to seek professional help from a certified financial planner, qualified financial coach, qualified nutritionist or maybe a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace kinda thing. Maybe a marriage counselor, too.
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:26 AM
 
51,584 posts, read 25,589,248 times
Reputation: 37785
If SAHMama is not on board with spending less, all the lists and suggestions and recipes from friends and neighbors are pointless.

The guy needs to sit down and explain that from now on we only have $1000 (or whatever) to spend on food. We need to figure this out together.

$2500/month on food is astounding.

How I Feed a Family of Seven for $300 a Month

Google search will come up with all sorts of ways to stretch that food budget.
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:44 AM
 
54 posts, read 104,988 times
Reputation: 77
Is someone Celiac? If not, spending more for GF foods is an unnecessary expense. Her decision to feed her kids Hamburger Helper suggest she’s not really all that concerned with feeding them organic diets. That said, good luck to her hubs on getting her to change direction there.

Do they have a Trader Joe’s nearby? They offer well-priced, good quality foods, most of which is sold under the TJ’s brand. It’s a well-known secret that many of their products are made by major manufacturers, just re-labelled for sale at TJ’s.
There are several sites that review TJ items to get them started. Here are a few:
What's Good at Trader Joe's?
Eating At Joes | A Trader Joe's Taste Testing Blog
Trader Joe's - Chowhound

Membership to a big box store and Restaurant Depot would give them access to bulk items at discount.
Dollar stores have deals on common grocery store items and large ethnic markets, such as H-Mart have great prices on fresh produce and seafood.
Plant a vegetable garden.

Lots of ideas from Chowhound’s Home Cooking forum. budget - Search - Chowhound
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Old 01-25-2016, 12:41 PM
 
221 posts, read 202,169 times
Reputation: 635
I agree with those who have said DON'T GET INVOLVED!!!

Until Husband and Wife can get on the same page, you may think that you're helping with the food budget, but really you're playing marriage counselor. And that's a baaaaad idea!
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Old 01-25-2016, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
20,868 posts, read 28,233,256 times
Reputation: 24782
I also agree Don't get involved!! It will be worse in the end especially if the wife is resistant. The husband needs to get a set of ..... Tell the wife this is the way it's going to be from now on !!! She does not need Starbucks or chick-Fil-A. She might want to consider getting a part-time job to help out. Bottom line: The wife needs to get on board with this and face the reality otherwise they may end up with creditors calling, foreclosure and what not. She obviously does not care if she's spending foolishly.
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Old 01-25-2016, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,394 posts, read 1,247,241 times
Reputation: 3242
$83 dollars a day on food ($2500÷30 days). Wifey has some sort of bad habit. Unless they are dining on Lobster Thermadore and Châteauxbriand, something isn.t adding up.
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Old 01-25-2016, 04:23 PM
 
19,963 posts, read 30,070,196 times
Reputation: 40008
2k a month???

they must shop at whole foods..


shop the sales... buy in bulk on the specials


jk is right ...this may not end well if you,,,being a female is trying to assist the hubby.... with a sahm....
she will get offended,,,its akin to giving him a back rub
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Old 01-25-2016, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Heart of Dixie
12,441 posts, read 14,794,072 times
Reputation: 28430
They are averaging over $4 per person, per meal. They should be realizing economy of scale with a family of six. Give them that information.
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Old 01-25-2016, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,869 posts, read 16,264,581 times
Reputation: 29229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
If I valued my friendship with these people, I'd stay out of it. It won't end well.
That. ^^^
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