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I did intimate in that other thread that I don't have a signature dish and that I pretty well put a lot of the menu together ad hoc .. and that I haven't had many failures. But, over the course of 50 or so years (more actually .. first anecdote) there have a been a few 'less than success' stories I suppose.
1) As a Brownie, I had to pass a baking badge. My assignment was to make a cake for 40 kids and leaders for St. Patrick's Day - from scratch. Cake was made in 4 8 x 8 pans because that is all we had - and turned out ok (chocolate) except that it was not even on top (had 'humps') and I didn't think to cut them off. Frosting .. failed completely. 7 minute variety with green food colouring in it. Never properly whipped up but it was time for the cake to be taken to the meeting. I laid the cakes out (4 square) on a large foil covered board and poured the icing over top .. it all slid off. Father ran to get some wood (2x2's), we covered those with foil, used them to fence in the cakes, scraped up the icing from the edges of the board and threw it back on the cake top with the wood holding it all in. What a gooey green mess. Passed but I shouldn't have.
2) When I first met my husband I invited him over for dinner. I burned the rice. No idea why. I have never burned rice in my life - before or since. Turns out I was lucky .. he had no sense of smell and didn't even notice the texture I guess.
3) My brother, his wife, and my niece came to visit - a 1000 mile journey by car. No cells back in those days so we only had guesstimates about when they would arrive but since it would be around dinner time we thought, I got a chicken ready to put in the oven. They had often criticized me for putting on way too elaborate dinners so I thought I would simplify this time and not bother with hors d'oeuvres or dessert .. just the main etc. especially since they would probably have eaten breakfast and lunch along the road. They arrived a bit early but they had not gotten around to eating at all that day, and the chicken was not even in the oven. Since I had failed to plan (which is planning to fail) I had nothing really for them to snack on at all except a few plain edamame pods (nice to nosh on but hardly filling). I was thoroughly embarrassed - was just not like me. No one goes hungry at my place. Dinner was late too because at the time I had not learned my 'turn the oven to 450, sprinkle bird with salt, pepper, butter, thyme, etc. and throw it in for 30-40 minutes' trick .. which can easily produce a full chicken dinner on the table in 45 minutes .. I was still on a 'slow roasting' kick. I think it took 2 hours and I was painfully aware of every second that passed till it was done. In the end dinner was not a total disaster but it certainly was not up to my standards.
It's time for Christmas Day dinner and I'm in the kitchen finishing up. I'm in the process of lifting a large heavy pot of boiled potatoes off the stove and carrying it over to the sink to drain and whip up for mashed potatoes.
A cousin shows up unexpectedly with her huge greyhound who happens to be wearing reindeer antlers. The dog darts into the kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye, I see what looks like a small reindeer headed toward me at 90 miles per hour.
I scream and drop the pot. Pounds of hot boiled potatoes splash out, luckily away from me AND the "reindeer", and splat against the cabinets, the floor, the stove, etc. The cat, who has been lounging on top of a high cabinet watching everything, freaks out and jumps off. Unfortunately, he lands with all four feet in a hot sheet cake I had just taken out of the oven and put on the counter. Dog is barking, cat is....well.....caterwauling, cook is traumatized.
We don't have mashed potatoes for Christmas dinner. We also don't have cake. Eventually I see the humor in it all. Eventually.
My cooking disasters all have one theme running through them - I didn't listen to my mother. Seriously. It's took me quite a few years making quite a few things the wrong way and achieving less than good results to realize this, but suffice it to say that now, I LISTEN TO MY MOTHER!!!!
Y'all don't want the gory details - trust me. At least it hasn't happened in recent years! I CAN be taught. LOL!
We went over to a relative's for dinner a few years ago. They were trying to replicate Alice Springs Chicken. One part of the couple was very health conscious and so they only had fat free cheese to use on the dish. Except as most of know fat free cheese doesn't melt. The chicken was very overdone because they couldn't figure out why the cheese wasn't melting. Thank god for the honey mustard dressing we brought with us.
I don't cook often but I decided to make the spinach dip from the Knorr box. I accidentially picked up frozen broccoli instead of spinach and didn't notice until I went to try it the next day.
Had two other couples over for a cookout.Beautiful summer night and we were mingling inside and out on the deck I was cooking lamb chops for the six of us,a total of 18 .Naturally,there was alcohol involved
As many of you know lamb far is highly combustable......it burns like gasoline if you let it go.
Anyway,as the chops were about ready to be turned I slipped in the house for a beer intending to be go for just moment but I was distracted by a friend that needed something and took my mind off the cooking.
Do I even need to tell you the rest of the story?
In a panic,I realized what I had done and rushed outside to see the grill engulfed in flames.....5 or six feet high.
We ate them but they were a bit crispy on one side.
It's time for Christmas Day dinner and I'm in the kitchen finishing up. I'm in the process of lifting a large heavy pot of boiled potatoes off the stove and carrying it over to the sink to drain and whip up for mashed potatoes.
A cousin shows up unexpectedly with her huge greyhound who happens to be wearing reindeer antlers. The dog darts into the kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye, I see what looks like a small reindeer headed toward me at 90 miles per hour.
I scream and drop the pot. Pounds of hot boiled potatoes splash out, luckily away from me AND the "reindeer", and splat against the cabinets, the floor, the stove, etc. The cat, who has been lounging on top of a high cabinet watching everything, freaks out and jumps off. Unfortunately, he lands with all four feet in a hot sheet cake I had just taken out of the oven and put on the counter. Dog is barking, cat is....well.....caterwauling, cook is traumatized.
We don't have mashed potatoes for Christmas dinner. We also don't have cake. Eventually I see the humor in it all. Eventually.
now that's funny
thanks for sharing..
I also had two greyhounds that we put deer antlers on ... but they never traumatized a cook
I made spanakopita for my coworkers with fresh spinach, back in the days when we had to wash our own spinach.
I didn't wash it well enough.
Mmmm, gritty.
You can see why I'm gun-shy about cooking for others.
2) When I first met my husband I invited him over for dinner. I burned the rice. No idea why. I have never burned rice in my life - before or since. Turns out I was lucky .. he had no sense of smell and didn't even notice the texture I guess.
3) My brother, his wife, and my niece came to visit - a 1000 mile journey by car. No cells back in those days so we only had guesstimates about when they would arrive but since it would be around dinner time we thought, I got a chicken ready to put in the oven. They had often criticized me for putting on way too elaborate dinners so I thought I would simplify this time and not bother with hors d'oeuvres or dessert .. just the main etc. especially since they would probably have eaten breakfast and lunch along the road. They arrived a bit early but they had not gotten around to eating at all that day, and the chicken was not even in the oven. Since I had failed to plan (which is planning to fail) I had nothing really for them to snack on at all except a few plain edamame pods (nice to nosh on but hardly filling). I was thoroughly embarrassed - was just not like me. No one goes hungry at my place. Dinner was late too because at the time I had not learned my 'turn the oven to 450, sprinkle bird with salt, pepper, butter, thyme, etc. and throw it in for 30-40 minutes' trick .. which can easily produce a full chicken dinner on the table in 45 minutes .. I was still on a 'slow roasting' kick. I think it took 2 hours and I was painfully aware of every second that passed till it was done. In the end dinner was not a total disaster but it certainly was not up to my standards.[/quote]
My similar situations:
The first meal I ever made for my husband was Thanksgiving Dinner. He ate it all, but I found out later that he HATES turkey. Had to marry him after that.
Years and years later, his brother and wife make an 8 hour drive to visit us. They arrived in the evening just after I finished dinner. My husband was working quite late that evening, so I had made myself a (homemade) pizza.
I (wrongly) assumed that since they were arriving so late, they would have eaten somewhere along the road. NOPE! They were starving. Yes, I should have ordered them a pizza. Instead, I gave them my leftovers. I didn't have snacks on hand either. So awkward.
They must have felt so unwelcome!!
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