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Recently I asked for your go-to dinner when people come over but now I want to hear about the one(s) that went horribly wrong when hosting a party! Undercooked poultry, burnt ham, too much salt, skunky smelling fish......Humiliation begins to set in as you realize there's no time to "whip up" something else. How you wish you could hit the reset button as your guests politely stomach your disaster of a meal. Instead of simply telling what you made let's hear your story. i'll go first:
A horde of family was at my house all afternoon. Wiith the beer and wine flowing, I figured it would be easier to whip up my ol' reliable British style fish and chips than to organize a dinner reservation for a group our size. I had enough cod, whipped up my batter, setup the oil and preheated the oven. My plan was to knock these all out in one shot rather than in batches. Trying to play host, tending to my toddler, and other distractions would prove to be my undoing. The oil was simply too hot and after pretty much burning the first filet I lowered the temp and stuck the fries in the oven. I tried again in a few minutes when the oil had cooled and got some pretty good looking pieces. Unfortunately, I dialed it down a bit too much and subsequent filets were taking quite a while to brown. I put the 3 or so finished filets on a cooking sheet and into the oven to keep warm while I played "catch up". The fries were nowhere near completion so serving this fish to whomever was around wasn't an option. Several family members politely came over and gave me the dreaded " mmmmmmm smells good! when do you think it'll be ready?" The realization that my guests were hungry was starting to sink in and with I started to go into panic/rush mode. I drastically raised the oil temp and that of the oven as well. The leftover oil that was dripping off the fish was starting to smoke in the oven and it wasn't pleasant. It was a thousand degrees in that kitchen by the time I was just about done. After everything was cooked I took it out of the oven and began to plate the fish. I could see that the once crispy , glorious, batter on the bottom was reduced to a messy, soggy slime. The fries were a golden brown but rock hard... my toddler who loves fries couldn't even eat em. I made excuses and encouraged others to simply remove what was left of the batter with their forks. I was thanked but couldn't help noticing the amount of "soggy goop" on the plates that eventually made it's way to the trash. Yikes
I had people over an a turkey that just wouldn't finish cooking. The I stressed out and stressed out my guests.
I like the green part of leeks - the medium green. Slice it thin and sweat or braise it with the rest of the leek, and it's a fine addition to potato-leek soup or whatever you're making. My aunt cuts the whole green part off a green onion - I'm always horrified.
I didn't do this myself, but my sister in law cooked Thanksgiving dinner one year. The turkey was in the oven and we all heard the buzzer go off. Though it was earlier than she anticipated, she was an inexperienced cook, so she simply turned off the oven and finished up all the side dishes.
When she took the turkey out of the oven, it was perhaps 50% raw. Turned out that her pet African grey parrot had learned to imitate the oven buzzer!
Luckily, she had one guest that was a vegetarian, so we all ate vegetarian lasagne and the side dishes. One of our favorite family stories - and the leftovers were great!
I didn't do this myself, but my sister in law cooked Thanksgiving dinner one year. The turkey was in the oven and we all heard the buzzer go off. Though it was earlier than she anticipated, she was an inexperienced cook, so she simply turned off the oven and finished up all the side dishes.
When she took the turkey out of the oven, it was perhaps 50% raw. Turned out that her pet African grey parrot had learned to imitate the oven buzzer!
Luckily, she had one guest that was a vegetarian, so we all ate vegetarian lasagne and the side dishes. One of our favorite family stories - and the leftovers were great!
I've had a couple of kitchen disasters, but the only one I can think of that involved company was when I made a bunny cake for Easter and the frosting, it was the cooked kind, separated because I forgot to mix the sugar and margarine/butter before I put in the cooked ingredients. Luckily for me I had some coconut in the cupboard so he was a furry bunny that year.
I've had plenty of things I cook not come out as planned, my most recent nightmare though was my volunteer church dinner..
I cook for church group every Friday, it normally goes off without a hitch.
We have an agreement that I'll do menu planning,cook, clean up and order the food from a distributor all except produce items.
I had planned meatloaf for that Friday, A lot of meatloaf 25 pounds of meat alone..
I get to the church at 3pm to find that nobody has went to get my produce, I needed onions, peppers and eggs for the meatloaf in addition to salad fixings.. (I called that morning to be sure someone was going)
By the time I found an office worker to give me the Sam's credit card it's now 3? and I have to now drive 15 minutes each way to Sam's. Fortunately it wasn't crowded..
Sooo, needless to say and yeah this is my fault as well, by the time I get these two gigantic meatloaf's In the oven it's almost 5pm But I'm in a rush and not thinking clearly.. (I should have made three smaller or four)
I have a lot of other things to do, like set up tables and chairs and make beverage's and do a salad..
So of course at 6pm my meatloaf is raw, not crawling raw but not servable either..
So I crank up our crappy ovens to 450 and slice the meatloaf's into normal serving slices and kind of fan them out in the pan..
And of course it's our favorite dinner so people are coming in like hungry wolves..
By now I'm irritated, I've been asking for additional volunteers for over a month now, since my helper retired.
Not to cook even just to come and help set things up..
The poor Pastor comes in and while I'm not exactly the most religious person in the entire land, I normally have a pretty cool head..
Well I gave him and a few others an earful about the volunteer situation and about my produce..
Think Gordon Ramsey toned down a few notches..
The moral of the story I guess, Cooks are jerks and want everything perfect.
Even though everything turned out fine, us volunteer cooks still get upset when things do not go as planned
Several years ago my sister hosted thanksgiving, was going to be served about 1. She put it in at 8 AM, had the cold sides premade in the fridge, all well thought out. She spent the morning shopping and I showed up at the house before she got home. The first thing that hit my nose was a smell that was a cross between sewage and a garbage dump. She got home a few minutes later and said Lord, it's spoiled! She took it out of the oven, put it in the car trunk and took it back to Safeway. She put it in a cart and was heading into the store when a clerk saw her coming, ran out and said "please don't bring it inside!" She was given a new turkey, fresh chilled, not frozen, took it home and started over. We finally ate at about 8PM. The house was freezing cold because we had to open all the doors and windows to let the stench out.
Recently I asked for your go-to dinner when people come over but now I want to hear about the one(s) that went horribly wrong when hosting a party! Undercooked poultry, burnt ham, too much salt, skunky smelling fish......Humiliation begins to set in as you realize there's no time to "whip up" something else. How you wish you could hit the reset button as your guests politely stomach your disaster of a meal. Instead of simply telling what you made let's hear your story. i'll go first:
A horde of family was at my house all afternoon. Wiith the beer and wine flowing, I figured it would be easier to whip up my ol' reliable British style fish and chips than to organize a dinner reservation for a group our size. I had enough cod, whipped up my batter, setup the oil and preheated the oven. My plan was to knock these all out in one shot rather than in batches. Trying to play host, tending to my toddler, and other distractions would prove to be my undoing. The oil was simply too hot and after pretty much burning the first filet I lowered the temp and stuck the fries in the oven. I tried again in a few minutes when the oil had cooled and got some pretty good looking pieces. Unfortunately, I dialed it down a bit too much and subsequent filets were taking quite a while to brown. I put the 3 or so finished filets on a cooking sheet and into the oven to keep warm while I played "catch up". The fries were nowhere near completion so serving this fish to whomever was around wasn't an option. Several family members politely came over and gave me the dreaded " mmmmmmm smells good! when do you think it'll be ready?" The realization that my guests were hungry was starting to sink in and with I started to go into panic/rush mode. I drastically raised the oil temp and that of the oven as well. The leftover oil that was dripping off the fish was starting to smoke in the oven and it wasn't pleasant. It was a thousand degrees in that kitchen by the time I was just about done. After everything was cooked I took it out of the oven and began to plate the fish. I could see that the once crispy , glorious, batter on the bottom was reduced to a messy, soggy slime. The fries were a golden brown but rock hard... my toddler who loves fries couldn't even eat em. I made excuses and encouraged others to simply remove what was left of the batter with their forks. I was thanked but couldn't help noticing the amount of "soggy goop" on the plates that eventually made it's way to the trash. Yikes
You could have just ordered pizza after you saw it was turning into a disaster.Also didn't you have a spouse to help you entertain instead of handling it all by yourself??
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