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I'm a grateful person. I'm one of those traditional guys who truly believes that it's the thought that counts, not the actual gift. (However, if you receive a gift with no thought put into it, I say go ahead and clobber the nincompoop.)
I live in an apartment complex, so everything is a gift. I don't own the appliances, the carpeting, the poorly placed electrical outlets or even the cottage cheese ceiling. I wouldn't have chosen these models for myself but, nonetheless, I care for them as I would a newborn left in my care. ("I said come down from that ceiling fan right now!")
When the stove recently died, I was disappointed. Yes, for all of two seconds I thought about the inconvenience until another feeling surged through my body. I was downright giddy! I love to cook and now I get a new toy! At least I'd better get a new toy and not have the old one resuscitated like Betty White's career. (It was a good for a long time but the comeback was sad and short-lived.)
So, I called my landlord and explained the situation. After showing proper remorse, I hung up and did what every grown man does when an expensive problem comes along. The Happy Dance because I didn't have to pay for it!
Ten days went by. Ugh! The antici......... waiting. It doesn't even take this long for a woman to carry a child to term! Day 11 brings a knock on my door and I just knew it was my new best friend! I opened the door and heard my tiny maintenance man's voice coming from behind a big cardboard box that had a picture of my new friend on the outside! (At least I think it was the maintenance guy. Who cares when Ginger Lime Chicken is less than an hour away?!)
Not being one for crime scenes, I left the apartment to allow the coroner to carry out the dead body of my old, electric coil-top stove. Goodbye hideous 1960's yellow! Twenty minutes later I came back. I almost thought I should knock to make sure my new friend was decent and had all of his connections fastened tightly. After all, we were about to become fast friends!
And, there it was! Shining in its bright white brilliance, making the rest of the 1950's apartment building look like an old black and white Mickey Rooney film. "Wow. What's a nice stove like you doing in a joint like this? Too late! You can never leave. You belong to meeeee! My PRECIOUS!!!!"
My first instinct was - DO NOT TOUCH IT! It's clean! I want to keep it looking that way! Well, for as long as it took for me to read the manual, anyway! I'm cookin' tonight! I know. I broke the official guy code and read a manual. But it was a ceramic, flat top electric stove. I've never owned a microwave, never mind such an upscale, hoity-toity do-hickey so I thought we should get acquainted properly.
So I read the manual.
There's a reason why guys don't read the manual, folks. They're full of bad news and can't do's. (If you don't read the manual, you're completely free to try anything and everything because nobody told you otherwise.) The bad news is that you can't just wipe it down. There's a list of 394 steps you have to follow first! It's a FLAT TOP! How hard do they need to make it?! It should be the EASIEST stove in the world to clean! But, you have to wait for it to cool, and don't use this but you have to use that and don't even think about doing that other thing because it requires specific this-n-thats.
My new friend is high maintenance. I'm a simple, plain living guy. I begin to have doubts about my new roommate. (What? I never said he was my friend.) This might not work ou......wait a cotton-pickin' minute! I just found the biggest, wrongest "can't do" ever.
Please Note:"Cast Iron cookware is not recommended because it does not conduct heat evenly on your new ceramic top stove. Also, cast iron may chip, scratch or break the stove top."
Who is this stranger that just barged into my house and kicked my old beloved friend out? (There's nothing wrong with 1960's yellow!) No cast iron cookware? Listen, I have a balcony and I'm not afraid to make you take a long walk off of it, pal! NOTHING cooks like cast iron and if you're afraid to get a little scratch then don't cook with the big boys, got it?!
Remembering that I'm a grateful person, I give this joker a trial run. I made my specialty burritos. Oops, I even "accidentally" spilled on it while I was cooking just to let this fancy-pants visitor know who was boss! Oh, yes I did!
Well, to cut the rest of the story short, and leaving out all the French subtitles, ceramic top electric stoves aren't very cooperative with cast iron. And clean up isn't fun! I did everything as instructed, as if my name was Jeeves and my only purpose in life was to cater to the whims of the hoity-toity! And you know what? These things are a devil to clean and they don't clean properly! It smears and leaves rings where the edge of the cookware was! This stranger isn't so hoity-toity after all! More like a slacker just out to have someone else fetch this and that for their lazy butt!
Then I saw the light. The "Hot Cooktop" light was still on. I had an idea and, in a flash, I slapped a flour tortilla on top of that burner and let it heat up on one side, flipped it over and heated up the other side! And I'll tell you what... this little buddy is perfect for heating up tortillas! It did a better job at that than anything else I've seen! And, being that I make a lot of different foods to go into tortillas (I'm very creative, you know), I've decided that my new little Mexican, tortilla-warming friend (who I've name Carlos) can stay.
Since then, my buddy Carlos and I have heated-up a dozen tortillas for some quick suppers after a long, exhausting day at work. Carlos can't cook with cast iron worth a tinker's darn, and he's not as easy to clean as I'd like, but my new $650 tortilla warming friend Carlos is here to stay. After all, it really is the thought that counts.
What about a first NOVEL with Carlos the main character, and you and your cooking antics?? Sounds hilarious to me~you know you could pull this off!
gbh
Quote:
Originally Posted by plain and simple
Wow, thank you for the kind words! What's funny is that, as I was reading your post, a friend of mine called me about something I had written for him and he was calling to insist that I start a blog. (He's been trying to get me to start one for over a year.) So, I read him my story about Carlos and I got read the riot act for not having a blog again!)
I guess I wouldn't mind starting a blog but I have no idea what the theme or focus would be on. I LOVE to cook but, really, does the world NEED another cooking blog? It's not like I want to be famous or have my own cooking show or anything. I just think cooking is fun, adventurous, therapeutic, calming and a Cirque du Soleil for the senses!
The other kinds of things I enjoy are silly and boring to other people. I'm just a quiet little homebody at heart.
Anyway, thanks again for the encouragement. Thanks to ALL of you.
Now, does anybody know how to clean Carlos without all the smudging????
Hilarious! I had a stove like that, it was my personal nemesis. I used a razor blade as a scraper, it won't scratch the beast, if you hold it at an angle. Wet down any crud, let it soak a bit, then just scrap it all to one side, go around the edge with the razor, good as new.
The last place I lived had the most beautiful gas stove, with a grill/griddle in the middle, loved it. But hated cleaning it.
What about a first NOVEL with Carlos the main character, and you and your cooking antics?? Sounds hilarious to me~you know you could pull this off!
gbh
Can I be completely honest? (I feel like I'm hijacking my own thread but I'll complain to a moderator later.) This is more just me thinking out loud, but I would sincerely appreciate honest feedback about this. I'm not fragile or so thin-skinned as to curl up in the fetal position under my desk when it comes to criticism. (Okay, but that only happened once!)
I really did start out writing a simple post about cleaning my new stove. The story popped-out without intention and in less than ten minutes. My initial reaction was: "Hey, Wordy McTalky Pants... long posts are boring time wasters. Don't bore people." But, I posted it anyway thinking that people will just back out of it if they don't want to read it.
Then I realized that writing it felt good. I enjoy writing. I like being creative. It comes naturally and flows as freely as Willy Wonka's Chocolate River and my name's Augustus.
I've always wanted to write a novel. When blogging started I always wanted to start one. Lord knows I've had more than my fair share of encouragement and threats of bodily harm if I didn't. But, I always thought people were being kind.
A good friend called me last night, shortly after a few of you responded to this thread. I read him your responses and then read him my story. I was VERY HESITANT to do this because he has a very short patience supply for things like this.
He loved it. He commented how I came alive in my tone of voice as I read it aloud and noted that he hasn't heard that from me in many years. He said my passion really caught on with him and then he proceeded to admonish me for 20 minutes for not writing a blog or a novel before now. (He's known of my secret passion for writing for years.) 20 minutes! I can't get him to give advice or comment on a regular conversation much less go on for 20 minutes!
That really got me thinking about doing both of these things - starting a novel and a blog. Some of the posts in this thread are echoing in my head. Put those together with my friend's comments and, well, I don't believe in coincidences.
So, here's what I'd like some honest opinions on. I mean, really, does the world need another blog? (This is what I hear in my head.) What on earth would I focus on? Rambling about life's generalities certainly wouldn't hold anyone's interest. They say to write about what you know and what you love.
Fine.
I love to cook. I think spices are powdered enchantments that can open new worlds for people. Baking is 100% sheer joy. There's something intensely satisfying to making a full-blown Thanksgiving dinner and, by the time dinner is served, there isn't a dirty dish in the house except for the ones people are eating on. Food is an international language that brings comfort, sparks ideas, triggers memories and brings the senses to life. Well made food is a vacation in your mouth when you don't have the time or money to take a real vacation. But, another food blog? Really? How blog-o-licious.
I'm a man of faith. It's the most important part of me. A faith blog that encourages people and gets real without all the platitudes and doesn't stick a geranium in your hat and tell you to be happy? Doesn't that just scream viral readership?
I live simply. I don't own a house, a car, TV, radio, stereo, CD's, DVD's, a microwave, dishwasher, toaster, etc., I still make my own bread every other day and share it with coworkers and neighbors in my building. I don't do Facebook, Twitter, MySpace or any other social media. I like being anonymous. I want nothing to do with fame. I don't want my own TV show. Like my screen name implies, I'm plain and simple. I have a cat named Silly and my idea of a good time is getting together with friends to play board games, card games, go out to eat, watch an old movie (I love the oldies with Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn) and have a themed potluck to the movie. This is NOT the world's idea of fun anymore. Zzzzzz.... I may be 45 but I've been an old soul since I was a young, beyond adorable, little boy.
I love to read. A blog about books? Why hasn't anyone else thought of that!?
I love to write. I could blog my journey (Ugh, how "Oprah!") of writing a novel from day one through completion and the process of seeking publication. Boring? Interesting? Nail-biting intrigue? I dunno, you tell me.
I also love animals and nature. I love to camp, fish, hike, go to the lakes, etc., (Hey, wake-up! I'm almost done!)
That's who I am. Mr. Kill Me Now Before He Bores Me To Death. I'm happy and content but is this the kind of blog people anyone under the age of 92 would even want to read? (Cuz those 90 year olds think they already know everything.) I just think there's enough hatred, gossip, violence and self-absorbed entitlement and entertainment in the world and I just don't relate to it. Perez Hilton, I'm not. Maybe a little of Paris Hilton when the light hits me just right, but I digress. I'm not into popular culture. While everyone was watching Where in the World is Matt Lauer?, I was asking, Who in the World is Matt Lauer?
Another side of me is that I speak plainly and simply. I'm not afraid to call a spade a spade. I loathe hypocrisy and I'll call it out. I try to be respectful but I'm bold and don't mince words. I've been told that I say what most people are thinking but are afraid to say out loud because they don't want to be thought of as not being politically correct. I don't believe in being rude or a troll, but I don't believe in backing down from from bullies.
So, I guess that would be a mix of what my blog would be like. Any thoughts? "Shut up already!" is perfectly acceptable, too. (The spot under my desk is available for fetal curling.) So is not caring at all. As long as it's sincere... and constructive!
Hilarious! I had a stove like that, it was my personal nemesis. I used a razor blade as a scraper, it won't scratch the beast, if you hold it at an angle. Wet down any crud, let it soak a bit, then just scrap it all to one side, go around the edge with the razor, good as new.
The last place I lived had the most beautiful gas stove, with a grill/griddle in the middle, loved it. But hated cleaning it.
Now, if it does not microwave, I don't eat it.
Code Blue! I need a home-cooked meal in here! STAT! Quickly, we're losing 'em!
It does work but so does a sponge and some Soft Scrub. I think baking soda would work fine too. If you can scour a bathtub with it without scratching, it should be fine for glass or ceramic.
Starter Kit? Jenkies? How long is cleaning my stove top supposed to take? LOL
I've taken your recommendations to heart, Julia. They'll get their chance to shine. (My stove, that is!)
This would be great if you want to start your own blog on here with your story! Alas, since this is turning into a chat thread, I must close or move it to the chat thread (I chose the latter). Thanks for sharing.
I tried some snickerdoodle cookies because I thought they had something to do with Snickers bar flavoring. They were still pretty good.
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Perhaps your aim, P&S, is too low (blog) 
