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I'm actually astounded by this thread. I'm also somewhat offended....
I'm in my mid-30s. I have never married. I have never lived with any of my girlfriends. I started having to fend for myself with meals once I moved out of the college dorm. I soon realized that I would have to learn some amount of meal preparation, at least until I had a wife or a live in girlfriend....
I have no idea what the future holds for me.... I would retain that role in a live in girlfriend or wife situation....
I'm confused. If you are astounded and offended, why then did you realize you would have to learn meal prep at least until you had a wife or a live in girlfriend?
;-)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar
(If anyone ever wants to talk about the biological, psychological and spiritual reasons why women should be natural cooks I'm open to a conversation.)
Yes, now that would be interesting. (but the subject for another thread, perhaps in the POC section)
I wonder if the dissolution of some of the more traditional roles of men and women has contributed to the current "transience of romantic relationships" of which RJ spoke.
Don't get me wrong; I believe these changing roles can be very positive. But perhaps the state of flux that occurs during the long (generational) period of time during which these changes are occurring also creates some ambivalence, uncertainty and confusion which makes long term all the more difficult.
Just some food of another sort.. (food for thought) ;-)
Anyway, on topic- DH is an old world classically trained Chef. (with a capital C.. lol)
Sometimes he cooks (in the past and also these days, with being home more), but I like to cook so tend to bogart the kitchen. Plus I like eclectic recipes and have thereby broadened his palate over the years.
He helps w the dishes, shopping and food prep. The way he handles a knife while chopping peppers or onions still makes me weak in the knees.
Last edited by LilyMae521; 04-30-2020 at 01:27 PM..
I married an adult too. One who started a very successful business 30+ years ago. That isn't affected by by the shut down.
Life is about trade offs. I am a 'wonderful' cook according to him. In reality, maybe a little above average.
He does his own laundry, takes out the trash. Brings home most of the 'bacon.'
Many of the posts go beyond just trade off and a division of major though. An adult (of any gender) should be able to do more then make a PBJ. Opening a can of soup or making a baked potato is something that anyone over the age of 10 should easily be able to do on their own. And knowing where the salt and utensils are located in the kitchen? Even a five year old would know where those items are in their house. There is no excuse for an adult.
How does someone not know how to make a baked potato?! Is turning on the oven and then chucking in a potato (after opening the oven door of course!) really beyond an adult's abilities in the kitchen?
DH does prepare meals and has signature dishes I really enjoy. I do more esoteric from scratch meals because I have the time and enjoy experimenting and making unusual dishes. While he appreciates my efforts, he doesn’t want to do that himself.
We are both 66. DH grew up with a mother that worked full time from when he was two years old and his Mom worked her way up to being a systems analyst by the time he was in junior high. His dad made many a dinner because his Mom was many times working late correcting code while DH was in high school.
It’s a matter of monkey see, monkey do. DH saw a Dad who could cook and clean on a regular basis, not just special occasions or emergencies, and a mother who was intelligent with a career. He learned from two people in a committed marriage who were not hung up on stereotypes common during their time. I had no idea when we got married how important this would become.
My mom was a nurse and worked till 7 pm 3 nights a week. We couldn't wait she got home to eat. Of course my dad made dinner on those nights! Growing up, it never even occurred to me that a man wouldn't be able to cook a meal. I thought my high school boyfriend was lazy AF for always asking one of his sisters to heat him up a can of vegetables or a bowl of mac and cheese for a late-night snack.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike
I agree that not everybody has an aptitude for or even likes cooking—or any number of other activities. My husband is too schedule-oriented to really taste things, especially new or unusual combinations or treatments, the way someone who loves subtleties of flavor does.
Everyone has the aptitude to cook! It's not a specialized skill that only a few possess.
What if your husband had married someone who also claimed to not have the aptitude to cook? Would they have starved to death? Eaten every single meal from a restaurant? No, they would have figured it out and cooked meals.
Anyway...the pork roast was delicious...done in a barrel-type grill- charcoal tray set at its lowest level, charcoal and hickory wood on the right, where the air comes in from the off-set smoker box (used when doing traditional smoking) and a 10x16 water pan on the left, pre-heated to about 350*.
While the coals are getting ready, pat the roast dry, then apply a light coating of yellow mustard followed by a liberal application of Taijin 'Clasico' chili-lime seasoning. When the coals and wood are ready, sear each side about 10-15 minutes each directly over the heat, then baste both sides liberally with 'Truly Texas' raspberry chipotle BBQ sauce, take it off the direct heat and put it over the water pan. Turn and baste with more sauce periodically, until internal temperature hits 155*. (Grill and meat temps monitored with a GrillEye Pro 8-port wireless monitor linked to smart-phone, with high/low temp alarms set, more charcoal and wood added as needed to maintain temp.)
It actually was done sooner than I expected (and much quicker than if I had done a 'normal' smoke- maybe an hour and a half as opposed to 5 or 6 hours), and I had to let it sit and hold while I finished the sides. It went about 10* over my target temp but it was still very juicy. It was excellent, we (just the two of us) killed off about half of a 4+lb roast, plus a couple of pounds of taters, and the veggies...washed down with Breckenridge Brewery's 'Christmas Ale'...would have been good with Angry Orchard or Woodchuck cider as well.
One of my coworkers is a few years older than I am, so late 40s, and he's been posting stuff on social media about how hard it is for him to isolate, because he can only get takeout and needs a woman to cook for him. .
He likely has more pressing needs from a woman than cooking skills. He should have learned to cook.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyMae521
I'm confused. If you are astounded and offended, why then did you realize you would have to learn meal prep at least until you had a wife or a live in girlfriend?
;-)
I will explain this further since I was speaking from my mindset when I was in my early to mid-20s as compared to my mindset today in my mid-30s on cooking.
In my early to mid 20s, I was hoping to get sex, home cooked meals, and cleaning out of a more serious relationship. As I live alone longer and learned to cook more, I dropped the cooking part of it.
I was astounded at this thread by the notion that men don't cook. Some of the best executive and sous chefs are men. Men in my generation have been single later into life and having been preparing meals more out of necessity. Some men I know, including myself, have used our cooking skills to impress women, getting us play in the bedroom in the early stages of a budding romance. Many younger women are not developing their cooking skills as much.
I have cooked more meals for my girlfriends over the years than my girlfriends have cooked for me. I've developed very good cooking skills. I have some good female cooks in my family, but more recipes than I do are based upon book and internet article reading.
I am in geezer territory at this point in my life. Since I left home (Mom was good cook) think only one woman I've known that has cooked meal for me, that was good cook. Contrary to popular opinion, dont think that many women were ever that interested in cooking. Some were, most did it cause it was socially expected. And 1970s up dont think many were even trained in scratch cooking.
I had to learn to cook out of self preservation. Too cheap to buy take out and heat-and-eat stuff. Quality of ingredients in such is not great, their biggest interest is in maximizing profit, not quality.
Many of the posts go beyond just trade off and a division of major though. An adult (of any gender) should be able to do more then make a PBJ. Opening a can of soup or making a baked potato is something that anyone over the age of 10 should easily be able to do on their own. And knowing where the salt and utensils are located in the kitchen? Even a five year old would know where those items are in their house. There is no excuse for an adult.
How does someone not know how to make a baked potato?! Is turning on the oven and then chucking in a potato (after opening the oven door of course!) really beyond an adult's abilities in the kitchen?
I would agree. However, I had a friend who stuck a whole egg in the frying pan (with the shell on) and wondered who it wasn't spreading out.
In my younger days, I was a resident director in a men's dormitory at a large university. The first two lessons:
1) Microwave popcorn does NOT take 20 minutes in the microwave. So don't start up a bad and go out and play basketball.
2) Separate whites and colors when doing the wash ... unless you like all your t-shirts to be a beautiful shade of pink.
And these kids were the bright ones.
==============================================
I have to admit that I started shaming my teenage nephew to start cooking meals at home. His parents worked full and he was hanging around the house. I walked in with his mother one day and the young lad says, "Mom, what is for dinner??" No hello, no nothing. My response was "What did you cook?"
"Well, I don't know how." My response was "you want to become an engineer and make things. You should be able to pull up a recipe and make dinner. All of your lab courses will be a lot more difficult."
When he walked away, his mother was giggling. And he started cooking soon afterwards.
Of course he cooks, I married an adult, not a helpless baby. He cooks about once a week, & does much of the veggie prep, daily. He makes a great biriyani & also pork chops. Both people in a partnership, should be able to cook & know the way around the kitchen.
I’ve been cooking since I was 13 and while not a top chef I can cook pretty much anything. I do 90% of the cooking for my family and have done so for a long time.
I find the responses where the husband can only boil water and open a can of soup sad.
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