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Since I grew up as an extremely picky eater and later became a serious foodie (though there are still things I don't care for due to flavor or texture - "serious foodie" doesn't mean "wolf down everything in front of you"), I determined that I wouldn't let that happen to my children if I could help it. So, the house rule was, you had to eat two bites of a new thing. The first bite took care of the shock value, the second bite was to see if you still didn't care for it. If so, fine, go on and eat the rest of the things on your plate that you DO like. Also, if you're served something you don't care for at someone's house, take a couple of bites, leave the rest, don't say anything.
My kids, as adults, will eat practically anything, one is an accomplished cook (far surpasses me because he started earlier), and the other is on her way to being.
As for allergies, true food allergies are very rare, far more rare than the number of people jumping on the "allergy bandwagon" would lead you to believe. There are things that don't agree with some people, but that's an entirely different matter. There are also things that don't agree with some people only if they know that that ingredient is in the food, and if they don't, not only will they have no reaction, but that dish will be the item they'll request that you prepare for them because it's their favorite. (Disclaimer here: I've never deliberately served anyone something that they said they were allergic or had reactions to, but I have inadvertently served a dish containing such an item without having knowledge, only to be told some time later while the person was eating the dish for the fourth or fifth time that they happened to be allergic to such and such a food substance.) My daughter also attended a school where fully half the student body had one food allergy or another (many of which the allergy doctors couldn't find but the parents just "knew" they had). I would dutifully get a list of items a chlid was allergic to when said child was going to visit, only to have the list expand, according to the child, when various items were offered: "I can't, I'm allergic to that." This continued until I started telling children right off the bat that in our house, you didn't have to be allergic to something, you could just not care for it and that was fine, whereupon the list would shrink. Those children were being taught to use "allergic" as an excuse.
It is unfortunate that some kids are allowed to use the allergy routine as an excuse.
In my case some of the foods I'm allergic to produce hives, a few cause an anaphylactic reaction. Frankly if a "friend" is upset because I'm questioning what's in the food so I won't DIE, they aren't much of a friend. I don't enjoy having to talk to the chef every time I eat out to make sure my food is safe for me to eat. Unfortunately it's a fact of life that I don't leave the house without an epi pen and don't eat anything without asking questions first.
These helicopter parents only make it more difficult for those of us with true food allergies.
And I'm enough of an adult to tell people I don't care for it as opposed to I'm allergic to it. I would NEVER use the food allergies as an excuse.
Honestly, this thread (as the title implies) boils down to manners. Unless you TRULY have allergies/dietary restrictions, when you are a guest, you should at least try a few bites of what is being served. You don't have to eat lots of it but you should TRY it and be pleasant. Your job as a guest is to be gracious and kind. If you are the host, you find out any dietary issues prior (if possible) and do your best to work around it. If a guest doesn't eat much of an item, you certainly don't call attention to the fact. Your job as a host is to make your guest feel comfortable. If everyone does their "job" a pleasant dinner is had by all.
ETA - children are not exempt from learning manners.
I knew a mother who created such a fuss because she thought her child might be allergic to peanuts. He wasn't but she was sure he was because a lot of kids were having that issue. I like the term helicopter parents because that is what they are. Are these parents going to be around hold their kids hands when they are 30 and 40 years old?
It seems like it is almost a new fad to have a child with food allergies. It does make it very hard for kids and adults who really do suffer from them.
And I have no problem if a person has real food allergies to tell them what I am fixing. I do have a problem if people lie about it.
I knew a mother who created such a fuss because she thought her child might be allergic to peanuts. He wasn't but she was sure he was because a lot of kids were having that issue. I like the term helicopter parents because that is what they are. Are these parents going to be around hold their kids hands when they are 30 and 40 years old?
It seems like it is almost a new fad to have a child with food allergies. It does make it very hard for kids and adults who really do suffer from them.
And I have no problem if a person has real food allergies to tell them what I am fixing. I do have a problem if people lie about it.
Peanut allergies are horrible, and kids can die from that.
But I agree, it's almost a fad now for parent's to have kids with food allergies.
One of my ex co-workers told me that at her daughter's school there was a little boy with a really severe peanut allergy. It was so bad if he was just sitting next to someone who ate a peanut he would go into shock. I feel bad for people with this kind of allergy because most things have peanuts or some by product used in them. The mom ended up home schooling her son because it got to be too hard to keep him safe.
One of my ex co-workers told me that at her daughter's school there was a little boy with a really severe peanut allergy. It was so bad if he was just sitting next to someone who ate a peanut he would go into shock. I feel bad for people with this kind of allergy because most things have peanuts or some by product used in them. The mom ended up home schooling her son because it got to be too hard to keep him safe.
I can understand wanting to home school. After watching your kid come close to death a couple times, it's easier to home school than live with the worry and fear of what might happen. What happens to peanut allergies? Do kids eventually grow out of it?
My daughter had a milk protein sensitivity and could not eat cheeses or anything with milk protein in it (believe me you would be amazed to find out how much food has it in there!). If she did she would have horrible issues with skin irritations and a week or longer of constipation (not to be gross but just explaining I am not blowing things out of proportion). If I went to someone's home I would bring her a meal in order to ensure there was not an issue... I would bring it on a microwavable plate and if the food which was served was "safe" she ate it... if not then she ate the food I brought. There was never an issue and I never asked anyone to MAKE something special or NOT make anything. I figured this was our Family situation and we dealt with it. For dessert we always asked what they thought they were serving... said it sounded delicious and if they were serving cake we got a VEGAN cake slice from a local bakery or if it was an ice cream related thing we brought her a Tofuti to eat.... simple. She wasn't left out and the hostesss didn't have to double duty.... that isn't her job!
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