Lived in Fort Wayne nearly 2 yrs, and still don't understand the people.

[miaj34]

Leasmom,

I know how you feel. I have lived here in Fort Wayne on and off since '97. People do tend to judge you. But having said that, other than the recent rise of violence, Fort Wayne is a really decent place to live and a great place to raise children. Its just hard when you are not part of a couple because its a family oriented area. People do tend to judge you and it is kind of hard to fit in unless you think like everyone else.
I am a single mom to a soon to be 7 year old boy and tend to think similarly to you. I do not have a string of men coming around because I respect my child and do not think that is a proper thing for a child to see. I am christian and I used to belong to a church ages ago but stopped when I had an issue that I confided to a Church Deacon and got labeled a demon and my issue was spread around the church. So, yeah, judgement is pretty high here.
On the other side, there are very good people here and they really are guarded to outsiders. Even though there really is a lot of diversity here, people still tend to stay with their own groups.
Its a very conservative city and when you have any kind of individuality that stands out, you will unfortunately, get the looks you described.
I am a black, larger woman. I am from outside the Chicago area, originally. But I have lived and traveled all over the US and abroad. So, like you, I know what it is to move around and have to adapt to different areas. My travels have given me a more broader sense of diversity and acceptance. But a lot of people here in the Fort do not travel far and most of the information they get from different cultures usually come from the newspaper or television. And like I said, it is a conservative bunch so they tend to get their info from one source that considers other outlets mainstream.
Over the years, through work and taking my son to the parks, I have made a couple of friends. I would say that the good outweighs the bad. The cost of living here is not so bad and the people really are decent. Whenever I catch myself starting to morph into being like everyone else here, I try to travel and get a wake up call. That is when I realize that event though I love the diversity of other places, I like being in this large city with the small town feel more. Just keep being yourself and people are going to either love it or leave it. If they don't love it, its their lost.

[belovenow]

Giving the OP some thought I would say the best advice I can give for whatever it's worth is to join a Women's Bible Study Group. I know out in Southwest Fort Wayne there's great people at The Chapel (The Chapel - The Chapel | Non-Denominational Christian Church | Fort Wayne, IN). The reason I advise this is that reading and then rereading your post I think you need to find some friends and I know that I've had luck as a man with The Chapel Men's Fraternity. Additionally, using social networking tools such as Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup you might find other groups. Good luck with everything. I've also lived in 8 states and by comparison Fort Wayne is pretty awesome to most of the places I've lived, but in our current day and age, getting out and meeting new friends just seems more daunting than ever before. People are naturally social creatures, but technology has kind of changed things since our parent's generation; now you need to work a bit harder to find/make new friends.

[Allergyvictim]

I moved to to the town 5 years ago and I can tell you the city has changed a lot as I can see that when I communicate with people ,I am originally from Lebanon- middle east ,I have an accent ,so I was talking to woman at store in my early days here ,she looked at me surprised and said ,something strange about you ,your features don`t match!! ,you are white but you don`t speak English ,so are you from China

[DangerousElf]

Yeah...born and raised here. Welcome to the land where people snack on Kingsford and crap Tiffany. (In other words, tight-*****)

I wondered for the entire last half of my life (50+) why it is that people want to look at the ground in front of them when they get within 15 feet of me; socially, I found it to be much like applying for work -- any excuse not to bring you in.

I bought a house here to provide some stability for my (2nd) wife and the kids; she left 4 months later. I stay because the cost of living is so comparatively low.

[Nikwissman]

And everyone replies on here proves her point! Omg I've lived in ft waste almost my whole life and I can say without a doubt, as soon as my husbands pension is up, were both hytailing it outta here and I'm not looking back! Hate this city, hate this state and HATE THE PEOPLE in it!!

[leasmom]

I've actually grown to love Fort Wayne though a lot of things have not changed about it including the way people act. I have had a lot of weird things happen with people especially when it came to getting involved in my daughter's high school. I never had a parent try to have my child 'engaged' to her son in the 10th grade before but that's now in the past. I had positive things happen but I continue to have the same stereotyping and it happens the moment I cross the Indiana line, I know cause I travel and when I leave Indiana I notice that no one treats me that way. I never was treated that way until I moved here.

But, because the good was outweighing the bad, I was going to stay but my daughter was accepted into four colleges and she chose one in Louisville and so we will be leaving Fort Wayne in just two months. We've lost a family member who was buried here in Fort Wayne so we'll have to come to visit Lindenwood Cemetery and come back to the Fort but we have to go. And in a way that's good, cause that judgment will now all go away.