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Old 03-09-2018, 04:46 PM
 
18 posts, read 14,907 times
Reputation: 17

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This probably is a broad question, but has anyone dealt with rude servers? I feel like any time I'm out at a restaurant. It doesn't matter if I'm with my family, a guy friend, a girl friend, or just with my brother, every waitress is rude to me.

I remember a few years ago, my girl friend from Florida and I went to Applebees near Coventry. We wanted to be in the bar, and we motioned to the hostess that we wanted to be in the bar. It was really crowded, and when we sat in a booth, she said she had to seat us. Then, she just abruptly placed down our silverware with an annoyed look on her face. I told my friend she was mad at us, and my friend just shrugged...

Another time, I was supposed to meet a date at Casa near Jefferson, and I was just peeking around. These three high school aged kids (two girls and a guy) who were servers were just chatting and near the front. One of them asked, "Can I help you?" in a really snotty way, and then they all stopped talking and just glared at me. I just said I was looking for someone. Later, a guy, I think he was a manager, finally came up to the podium five minutes later and was friendly, and asked who I was looking for and what I needed...

I was with a guy friend at Black Dog Pub, and our waitress was moving some tables near us. I asked for something for which she rudely said, no. The guy I was with, said, "Hey, I'm not trying to be a dick, can I get more ketchup?" She was super attentive to him. Then, when our check came, she just slams it near my side...

My family went to the Tavern at Coventry, and there was this group of teenagers just talking. We were sat down, and one of the girls became our waitress. She brought out everyone else's salad, but mine, which I did order. I said she probably did it on purpose. My brother was saying she was in his grade, and was the kind who was popular and her and her "clique" make fun of people less popular than her...

Another time my family and I were at Tavern, and this waitress kept glaring at me for no reason (she wasn't ours), and purposefully bumping into me. I thought I was in her way, so I pushed myself in. She kept doing it. It wasn't until I gave her the look of death, she stopped...

I was supposed to meet a girl friend at Cebolla's near Time's Corner. This hostess was all happy and chatting with one of the male servers. I asked for a booth to which she just glared and had this annoyed attitude, and sat me down, no how are you? Where would you like to sit? She came by our table again, and just had this annoyed look to me. She wasn't our waitress or serving us...

Let me just say this, I know serving is hard. I hear about it all the time. I've worked in retail for over five years, both high volume and low volume stores. I've been cursed at, yelled at, and even called ****ing retarded once, but you have to be a real dingus to not know how to at least be halfway decent with people, especially when they're with their family. I know serving is probably harder than retail. I know it's rough when one week you walk out with 200 in your pocket, and the next, maybe 50.

I've never really had an issue with a male server unless he was forgetful. It seems like a lot of snobby high schoolers and bitchy, insecure 20 something year old females act like this, and I just don't get it. It's like they think any halfway decent looking female is judging them when most just want to stuff their face. I'm always polite at my job, once again, retail. At restaurants, I tip 20% usually, am polite, and my orders are never complicated.

Ironically, or not so ironically, I've never had issues with Cork n' Cleaver, Biaggis, Eddie Merlot's, Cracker Barrel or Agaves. Everyone has been pleasant and polite, and I don't feel like I'm going to get attacked because I'm not a server.

Why is it like this?
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Old 03-09-2018, 06:25 PM
 
Location: 78745
3,711 posts, read 2,856,070 times
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Are you a female or male? I've had jobs where I worked with a lot of females as co-workers. I know for a fact, alot of times a girl or group of girls will give a new girl a hard time with stares and catty remarks, talk about her like she's a dog, especially if the new girl is young, pretty, well built, dresses good, has a fun upbeat personality, and you can tell just by looking at her she takes care of her body with her diet and exercise and she feels real good about herself with high self esteem. Alot of females will see the new girl as a threat.

Females will bicker with one another all day long while on the job, day in, day out; whereas, males, as a rule, will not constantly bicker with other males while on the job because they know if they do, the chances are good they may get their a$$ beat after work.

It does seem strange you would be treated so differently in so many different places. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to accuse, criticize, ridcule or abuse, but do you think it could be something in your personality that might cause people to react to you the way the do? Could it be something in the tone of voice that when you say something it comes out as rude, or sharp, or impatient, or irritated, and you don't even realize it? Do you have a glare in your eyes that some people might feel like you don't like them?

Take a good hard look at yourself. Ask a close friend or relative or somebody who knows you well, and has seen you interact with strangers, and ask that person to tell you the God's honest truth if there is something that is coming from you that turns so many people off.

Good luck.
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Old 03-09-2018, 08:42 PM
 
18 posts, read 14,907 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Are you a female or male? I've had jobs where I worked with a lot of females as co-workers. I know for a fact, alot of times a girl or group of girls will give a new girl a hard time with stares and catty remarks, talk about her like she's a dog, especially if the new girl is young, pretty, well built, dresses good, has a fun upbeat personality, and you can tell just by looking at her she takes care of her body with her diet and exercise and she feels real good about herself with high self esteem. Alot of females will see the new girl as a threat.
I'm a female. I definitely agree with all of this that you said. I get along well with all of my co-workers, male and female. I try to be as conventional and conversational as I can.

Quote:
Could it be something in the tone of voice that when you say something it comes out as rude, or sharp, or impatient, or irritated, and you don't even realize it? Do you have a glare in your eyes that some people might feel like you don't like them?
The only thing is sometimes my brother says it looks like I'm glaring at the menu and at the server when I'm giving them my drink order. The font is point 8 or something on most menus. I always say please, thank you, etc. I never get a you're welcome in response unless one of the guys says it...
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