Black Women in DFW (Fort Worth: lawyer, college, live)

[TrynaLearn]

I HAVE NO KIDS NOR DO I HAVE ANY FELONIES. Im so frustrated but I really would like to know why attractive black women, if they have a career, then the attitude is “I am better than you, if you aren't making more than myself, you are a thugless *****”. I've been to offices where I get looked down upon by my own black women. YES, I speak like Carlton Banks, but that doesn't make me any less black. Please bear with me because I've been trying to figure out how to be a better black man, especially for my black women. I can find a black female with children who want a father figure around. I can also find an overweight black woman, but when I see a black woman that doesn't fit the 2 previously mentioned “molds” then their attitude is vicious. It's almost as if I'm watching “Wild Discovery”. There is no mercy from them. I've seen them lust over black men with multiple baby mothers. It's almost as if I'm not ******ish enough. Ironically I look like one with neat dreads. Being that I reside in the Fort Worth TX, when I see a black woman smile, she is with a thug or white man. I am not bashing our beautiful black women. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm constantly being betrayed and toyed with. I don't want to have bitterness in my heart, but I feel at this rate I will be forced to go overseas and pay a female to be my wife. No pity party here, but even some of the “Centric” channel shows show our queens in an “unobtainable” light, unless I'm a lawyer or something. I am in college for Network Engineering. I just would like to know just what is it that make a sistah act nice and not be so much like a player. Please help. This isn't a platform to vent, just a lil advice to better understand our queens. Thank you and enjoy your day.

[UTHORNS96]

This thread reads like it's straight from black planet.

[TrynaLearn]

wow blackplanet is still up and running. I haven't been on there since 2005. wow.

[llmrkc07]

Maybe you are someone that they are not use too. Its obvious that you are not from here and its going to take time to adjust, but you will find someone. There is someone for everyone.

[sywi]

If you are ruling out "overweight" black women and those with children, you are excluding a lot of your sisters who are probably perfectly nice and restricting yourself to a pool with a lot of choices. Such women command higher status, according to our loopy way of thinking, and will be looking for what are considered higher-status men: high earners and whites. Racist as heck, I know, but there it is.

[naterator]

OK, I'm a white guy, if that matters. But before you hang up, listen to me.

You say you're in college. Which gives me a general idea about your age. Which tells me that what you're experiencing is not a "black thing" at all. I think it's just the way "girls" in that general age group act. And the way some "girls" act the rest of their lives. There are a lot of them that just like "the image", and can look and act sexy as hell, but at the end of the day, really have nothing to offer. Like a frozen dinner roll that got broiled - hot as hell on the outside, but cold as ice on the inside. Having been there, let me tell you, you don't want to hitch a ride with someone like that. Take it from an now-old and lame, but formerly-cool guy. Human nature doesn't change that much in a generation.

For me, at about your age, if you didn't have rich parents, drive a raised-up diesel pickup or treat them like garbage (I called it abuse), then they wanted nothing to do with you. The cleaner-cut and nicer you are, the less attractive. I didn't get it. So I basically gave up on dating for years. And made some great memories with my buddies. You can only do that once in your life, and I would highly recommend it at your age.

The good news is, I can guarantee that this problem goes away in time. And let me tell you, when you're done with college, finding an attractive date will be as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. Trust me on that one. And then, you'll sometimes run into one of those women that did you wrong or blew you off. They'll be friendly, sniff around to see how you're doing, hint around for a date, and after you say "well, it was good to see you", you'll walk away, relieved, and whisper to yourself, "thank you God".

Hope this helps, man. Hang in there.

[jcamber]

I hate to generalize but I'm in agreement with naterator. It's a maturity thing, I think. Also your social circles have a lot to do. What you do, who you relate and socialize with. I'm currently pursuing my MBA and girls there are far more intelligent than I have ever seen before. Very down to earth and genuinely interested in getting to know you as a person. Yeah, there's the ocasional crazy one but they are the exception.

Good luck and never underestimate the risk associated with just going overseas to find a wife. The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

[adivine]

I agree with naterator as well as a few other. You are also ruling out a lot of good quality women because they have kids. There are a lot of mature woman that love a clean cut gentlemen who has respect for a black female. Confidence is key, don't give up she's out there.

[Exult.Q36]

Originally Posted by TrynaLearn

I HAVE NO KIDS NOR DO I HAVE ANY FELONIES. Im so frustrated but I really would like to know why attractive black women, if they have a career, then the attitude is “I am better than you, if you aren't making more than myself, you are a thugless *****”. I've been to offices where I get looked down upon by my own black women. YES, I speak like Carlton Banks, but that doesn't make me any less black. Please bear with me because I've been trying to figure out how to be a better black man, especially for my black women. I can find a black female with children who want a father figure around. I can also find an overweight black woman, but when I see a black woman that doesn't fit the 2 previously mentioned “molds” then their attitude is vicious. It's almost as if I'm watching “Wild Discovery”. There is no mercy from them. I've seen them lust over black men with multiple baby mothers. It's almost as if I'm not ******ish enough. Ironically I look like one with neat dreads. Being that I reside in the Fort Worth TX, when I see a black woman smile, she is with a thug or white man. I am not bashing our beautiful black women. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm constantly being betrayed and toyed with. I don't want to have bitterness in my heart, but I feel at this rate I will be forced to go overseas and pay a female to be my wife. No pity party here, but even some of the “Centric” channel shows show our queens in an “unobtainable” light, unless I'm a lawyer or something. I am in college for Network Engineering. I just would like to know just what is it that make a sistah act nice and not be so much like a player. Please help. This isn't a platform to vent, just a lil advice to better understand our queens. Thank you and enjoy your day.

Trust me you’re not the only educated brother that feels this way. I agree with you on every point and the right one will come in time. My advice to you is don't go out searching just "Do You" because when you go out searching it seems to never work out in the end. When you really know your self-worth you will find out that you don't need anyone to complete you. Confidence comes as a direct result of knowing your self-worth. People will feed off this new found swagga and before you know it Mrs. Right will come.

[thenewtexan]

Just curious...have you had a different experience elsewhere outside DFW? If not, this sounds like an interesting conversation for the Dating/Relationship forum. This really doesn't sound like anything specific to DFW, (nor does it sound like anything specific to black women).