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Old 03-29-2011, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Native Floridian, USA
5,298 posts, read 7,660,252 times
Reputation: 7485

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Is there a difference ? My SIL, God rest her soul, was cheap to my mind. She hated to spend a dime on anything, unless she couldn't find a way to get someone else to supply it.....even after she was in better shape financially, she would poor mouth to the doctors to get her meds for free. But she let her drug addicted son clean out her bank account regularly or bang up her car, etc. He ran her new car into a ditch, tore off the passenger mirror, bent in the side and she never had it fixed. She had a deductible and didn't want to pay the money.

She had a soft, sweet personality and people would buy things for her when she mentioned she "needed" something or give it to her. I loved her greatly but hated that about her. She knew she was like that and sometimes would make reference to the fact she was "cheap", she guessed.

eta: I wanted to add, she came from a respectable but poor background and had had a hard life through her marriages, etc. She was sort of gentilly (?) poor until she was older. I am sure that may have helped to make her that way.

Anyway, is there a difference or is it just degrees of frugality ?
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Old 03-29-2011, 05:44 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 10,022,676 times
Reputation: 2799
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
Is there a difference ? My SIL, God rest her soul, was cheap to my mind. She hated to spend a dime on anything, unless she couldn't find a way to get someone else to supply it.....even after she was in better shape financially, she would poor mouth to the doctors to get her meds for free. But she let her drug addicted son clean out her bank account regularly or bang up her car, etc. He ran her new car into a ditch, tore off the passenger mirror, bent in the side and she never had it fixed. She had a deductible and didn't want to pay the money.

She had a soft, sweet personality and people would buy things for her when she mentioned she "needed" something or give it to her. I loved her greatly but hated that about her. She knew she was like that and sometimes would make reference to the fact she was "cheap", she guessed.

eta: I wanted to add, she came from a respectable but poor background and had had a hard life through her marriages, etc. She was sort of gentilly (?) poor until she was older. I am sure that may have helped to make her that way.

Anyway, is there a difference or is it just degrees of frugality ?
I'm sorry, but it sounds to me like she was taking advantage of people and their generosity. Ok, maybe that falls under the heading of cheap. Having said this, I may be cheap and order the least expensive thing off the menu, but I'll be the one paying for it. And if I leave less than a 15% tip (unless the service was rottten), now THAT is cheap.

Last edited by mistygrl092; 03-29-2011 at 05:52 PM..
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Old 03-29-2011, 06:58 PM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 990,855 times
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For me, if my reaction is, "Wow - that's really smart!!" this = frugal. If my reaction is, "Wow - that's just embarrassing..." this = cheap.
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Old 03-29-2011, 07:14 PM
 
6,757 posts, read 8,309,848 times
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I think of frugality as getting the best value for your money. Like buying good quality bath towels on sale rather than the $3.99 towels at Walmart. You know they'll feel nice longer, and last MUCH longer than the cheap ones, even though they're twice the price or more on sale.

What you're describing isn't frugal, it's cheap. And it's taking advantage of other people's generosity. There's nothing shameful in needing to accept help, but you shouldn't milk it.

Last edited by Emeraldmaiden; 03-29-2011 at 07:22 PM.. Reason: grammar policing myself
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Old 03-30-2011, 01:35 AM
 
168 posts, read 550,851 times
Reputation: 145
Here is a great video that will have the precise answer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9nwHrqosD8
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Old 03-30-2011, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Native Floridian, USA
5,298 posts, read 7,660,252 times
Reputation: 7485
thx for the responses. I have struggled with this over this years and because I loved her dearly, I felt kind of disloyal in thinking of her as "cheap". She passed away earlier this year. I will look at the youtube. What can't you find on that site...LOL ?

beansandcornbread, I laughed out loud at your screen name. It also made me want some beans and cornbread with a little or a lot of sweet onion chopped up with them....umum, good.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:07 PM
 
Location: MO->MI->CA->TX->MA
7,031 posts, read 14,522,895 times
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Cheap:

If you find yourself hating for having to save money, you're being cheap.

Frugal:

If you find yourself enjoyably allocating the money you save on something you enjoy (i.e. beer, vacations, new car, drugs, etc but preferably something frugal as well), then you're being frugal.
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Old 03-30-2011, 03:29 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,493 posts, read 4,567,860 times
Reputation: 3026
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
Is there a difference ? My SIL, God rest her soul, was cheap to my mind. She hated to spend a dime on anything, unless she couldn't find a way to get someone else to supply it.....even after she was in better shape financially, she would poor mouth to the doctors to get her meds for free. But she let her drug addicted son clean out her bank account regularly or bang up her car, etc. He ran her new car into a ditch, tore off the passenger mirror, bent in the side and she never had it fixed. She had a deductible and didn't want to pay the money.

She had a soft, sweet personality and people would buy things for her when she mentioned she "needed" something or give it to her. I loved her greatly but hated that about her. She knew she was like that and sometimes would make reference to the fact she was "cheap", she guessed.

eta: I wanted to add, she came from a respectable but poor background and had had a hard life through her marriages, etc. She was sort of gentilly (?) poor until she was older. I am sure that may have helped to make her that way.

Anyway, is there a difference or is it just degrees of frugality ?
To me frugal is to think in terms of what I really need and what I really want.

Cheap is getting things in life at the expense of happiness and comfort without the need to do so.

Example:
My wife and I love going to the movies. Depending on the movie we may go to the movie theater when the movie first comes up. However, if there is a movie we can wait to see, we wait for the same movie a month later and go and see it at the $1 theater.

We can afford to see all movies at the more expensive one at this stage of our lives but if we can save a buck in some type of movie, we go the least expensive route.

At home we still have TV that still have good image and work very well. We do not have the urge to buy the latest state of the art flat screen TV so we do not deny ourselves of enjoying the programs by keeping the old type TVs.

The car? We have kept the cars as long as they can serve. We do not care if they are old models. Once they become cost prohibited to maintain them, we went away and bought a couples of brand new cars cash so again we do not deny ourselves of enjoyment in life.

Depending of the situation, we may look for cheaper deals but I will be trying to get a free deal at let us say Sears. I use coupons if they have them. My wife is a coupon collector and she has saved up to a $100 after the cashier rings all the coupons when we buy groceries.

Are we cheap? I do not think so but we are happy how we handle our money and it has paid off, take care.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:29 PM
 
15,646 posts, read 26,341,981 times
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I am frugal, husband is cheap.

I take care of my cell phone. My friends talked about breaking cells phones all the time, so when I bought my cell phone I made sure it had one of those side slots that girls attached pretty hanging things from.... and bought a pager chain. I tuck the phone into my t shirt pocket and clip the chain to the pocket... and when the phone falls out -- and it does -- it doesn't hit the floor, or get lost. (The reason it's in my t-shirt pocket is I don't hear it ring in my pants pocket, and I never feel the vibration.) My phone is about 4 years old and almost perfect.

My husband jams his into his pocket, with his keys. And box cutter. And coins. And other stuff. This phone is holding up pretty well. But the previous phones!

His first cell phone was SO destroyed (and here's why he's cheap) that he couldn't get it to dial anymore. He had to use a small screwdriver to push the keys. The keypad buttons were destroyed -- the numbers would still click but the rubbery keyboard was so bad there wasn't anything to get down to the actuator. So he kept using a screwdriver.

One day he came home with a new to us cell phone. He found it in the dumpster. He thought it looked just like his.... so he took it apart and took out the rubbery keypad part and tried to fit it to his phone. It didn't fit -- it was off by mere millimeters... but it didn't fit. So he put his own phone back together, laid the newer keypad right over top of the worn out keypad and tried to figure out where he could jiggle it to make it work...

and he pressed a button.... and it worked.

So he took packing tape and wound it around the phone to hold the new keyboard on top of the whole phone. Used it for almost a year until it fell into a full sink and got too waterlogged....
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Old 03-31-2011, 12:17 PM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 990,855 times
Reputation: 1552
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
... beansandcornbread, I laughed out loud at your screen name. It also made me want some beans and cornbread with a little or a lot of sweet onion chopped up with them....umum, good.
Oh yeah - throw them beans in with some ham hock or fat back. Or some good bacon. This is a staple at our home. Inexpensive, filling and tasty.


What can't you find on YouTube? Hopefully not me acting a fool!!
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