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Old 03-01-2012, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Vermont
5,439 posts, read 16,859,501 times
Reputation: 2651

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Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
Hi all, I've been worrying for the last couple years about this. Admittedly, I am a worrier but here's the deal - I am a single mom with 17 and 18 yr old. Mom, who is 74 and still working, is also with us. My rent is 900 a month. I get 2200 a month on SS but when son turns 18 it will drop 1000 a month. I will have 1360 a month then. My mom helps with food and electricity. My mom also says Oh don't worry I'll just give you some towards the rent, but I do worry. She is 74 with peripheral artery disease and if something were to happen to her I couldn't afford it. My 18 yr old is going to college and working. I know she would help if she has it but it's so stressful to worry about it. Here is a picture of my situation
Rent - 900.00
TV, phone - 129.00
Car - 360.00 for 2 more years
Ins. - 200.00
I am willing to move, as I live in expensive area, but have never been anywhere and don't really know where to go. Mother just wants to stay here cause of her job. I'm going to have 700 a month to live on after ins. car payment etc. Have even thought about buying but could only qualify for 50-60k and don't know what I could get for that. Nothing around here. I am in Md in the DC/Va/Metro area. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thx, Steph
Could you get rid of cable TV, and get a different car. A cheaper used car will bring down your car payment AND your insurance payment. Then you can start saving up a little money to make you rest easier when you are in a jam. good luck.

 
Old 03-01-2012, 04:08 PM
 
356 posts, read 834,070 times
Reputation: 290
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
@ Jasper the thing about that is I just don't trust them. I saw a guy ex firefighter in a wheelchair and he worked for 2 weeks p/t and they took everything away so it scares me

No I'm not opposed to moving. I actually would rather move to a cheaper place but that's safe.

And you are right. I don't want to live near troublemakers, etc. I just don't understand why you got to have a lot of money to not worry about your and your children's safety but I get it.

I have thought about selling my car a lot because I did get it while I was still working but in less than 2 years it will be paid for. And as far as am I worse off than the paralyzed person - no I'm probably not. Since it seems that a few people want to know my personal business (although I did post in frugal living and not personal) I will tell you. I have had panic disorder (genetically related) all my life and when my hormones got messed up it get worse. Was told by psychiatrist, it happens a lot. Also stress disorder. I take meds but my therapist (and I've been seeing them since I was young) have tried things and they have all ultimately said that when it's genetic, it's harder to treat. I actually got to where I barely leave the house. Trust me, this is not living but it's what I was dealt. I don't think any 1 of you would take a chance on losing your income and health benefits (medicare) on a job that will pay less than you are getting with no benefits. If I'm trash for that, then you need to rethink your values. Thx again, Steph
I skipped a lot of posts so someone might have mentioned this, but I suggest checking into the "Ticket to Work" program from SSA. If you try it, you would not lose your benefits outright, but would be allowed a time to test and see if you could work.

Are you Receiving Benefits and Interested in Working? -- The Work Site -- Social Security Online

Another option would be to try to see if you could find a job that would allow you to telecommute. Perhaps some kind of data-entry position.

And I agree with others, try to move. I live in the same area and it is very expensive here (which is one of the main reasons I would like to move ASAP). Not to mention, I personally find this area of the country highly stressful. I would suggest deciding what relaxes you, climate-wise, population-wise, & go from there. Pick a city/small-town/middle-of-nowhere USA that's right for you. You might not even have to move very far. WV has reasonable areas, so does, I imagine Virginia once you get past the "DC commuter territory".
 
Old 03-02-2012, 12:55 PM
 
Location: In a state of denial
1,289 posts, read 3,035,244 times
Reputation: 954
With agoraphobia would you be able to move anyway? I thought that prevents you from leaving your house...if you move won't you freak out?
 
Old 03-02-2012, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Jersey
869 posts, read 1,494,084 times
Reputation: 880
Quote:
Originally Posted by chuck_steak View Post
With agoraphobia would you be able to move anyway? I thought that prevents you from leaving your house...if you move won't you freak out?
I dont think she said agoraphobia, just an anxiety disorder which prevents her from working with people outside her home.
 
Old 03-02-2012, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Near L.A.
4,108 posts, read 10,800,719 times
Reputation: 3444
$700/mo. w/ a family...

Is this even possible in America, anymore?
 
Old 03-04-2012, 06:37 PM
 
304 posts, read 617,220 times
Reputation: 472
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
I find it hard not to chastise the OP. I couldn't get SSDI when I was going through treatment for cancer (and the anxiety related to cancer - both due to circumstances and medications) - and my psychiatrist would laugh me out of the office if I told her I wanted to stop working because of my anxiety. And yes, it was difficult to leave the house some days. Still had to go to work. If you have a psychiatrist and therapist who tells you that your anxiety cannot be managed and allows you to accept being too anxious to leave home then you need to find a new mental health team! I wouldn't accept it if someone told me that my cancer was "genetic and therefore unable to be treated" until I had literally exhausted all options - why would I accept that for mental health? It's not a SSDI issue - its a quality of life issue.

And I went through 6 months of chemo (much of it laying in bed with no energy to even read) without cable. I had the internet. I still don't have cable - roommates and I split Netflix and Hulu+ ($16 total a month for both, I believe. You could do one or the other.) and I'm saving for a few months to get rabbit ears. They're not expensive but not quite in the budget yet. I had to lease a car in order to get to treatment, but my payment is SIGNIFICANTLY less, I only have to pay for 3 years, and then I'll probably get a much cheaper car or go back to public transportation.

Honestly? $900 a month for rent for 4 people is a steal on the East Coast.

Buy in the bulk section (ex. a pound of Israeli couscous costs $3.45 in the bulk bins but around $8 if you buy it prepackaged), learn to love your legumes and stir fried type dishes, and you can cut back seriously on your food budget. If you don't have a yard, you can grow a fair bit of herbs in pots on the window sill. You can make whole salads out of basil! You can cut down significantly on your food budget that way and not have to resort to ramen.
I agree. You have to understand - for those of us who were not even able to get assistance while undergoing CANCER treatment, this thread seems incedulous to us. You do what you have to do.
 
Old 03-04-2012, 07:12 PM
 
82 posts, read 150,444 times
Reputation: 22
I find it absurd for people to judge my problems. I judge no one EVER. NO ONE knows the extent of my issues. (and it's really nobody's business) I feel for any 1 going through physical or mental illnesses and the audacity of some people amaze me. ALL I came on here for was a little advice and some, not all, have been nothing short of horrendously judgmental. I don't have to explain myself over and over, BUT I worked hard for 35 years to support 2 children by myself and I PAID into SS. I have NEVER taken a handout from any one. That's 1 of the reasons I posted on here as I still will not. If I had known I was going to be attacked I would have never posted. I hope no one who has suicidal problems ever comes on here. Some of you could push them over the edge. This is not a who has a bigger problem thread. Thx to those who gave advice and to all of you who feel the need to judge, you all need to look into yourselves and see what kind of character you have and when you go to face your maker, how will you feel then. Some people are just a bunch of hypocrites. I hope to God none of you are ever in a situation where you need help.
 
Old 03-04-2012, 07:16 PM
 
82 posts, read 150,444 times
Reputation: 22
Thx so much. I would love to move to a cheaper area into a small apt. But I would have to travel kinda far I think from here. It's just hard to know if the area is safe and there are no bugs and such.
 
Old 03-04-2012, 07:21 PM
 
82 posts, read 150,444 times
Reputation: 22
You don't get it. I am sorry for your circumstances and you should have been able to get some help but here is where you don't get it "you do what you have to do". I CAN'T!!!! What don't you understand about that? Don't you think I'd be doing it if I could? My God, I guess you just think I want to live off the system but you are sooo wrong. I'd much rather be working! People just say go to work. Bahahaha No clue of how some people just can't do that. You think living on such low income is a choice? You think wrong!
 
Old 03-04-2012, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Ka-nah-da
253 posts, read 557,917 times
Reputation: 338
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
You don't get it. I am sorry for your circumstances and you should have been able to get some help but here is where you don't get it "you do what you have to do". I CAN'T!!!! What don't you understand about that? Don't you think I'd be doing it if I could? My God, I guess you just think I want to live off the system but you are sooo wrong. I'd much rather be working! People just say go to work. Bahahaha No clue of how some people just can't do that. You think living on such low income is a choice? You think wrong!
You aren't willing to take any of the advice that was given to you, and some of it has been very good advice. You seem to no want to change your lifestyle or situation and are using your mental disability as a crutch....I guess that's why it's called a disability. Instead of being so brash take the good advice USE IT and move on. Yea some posters on here are jerks, but lots of people want to give you helpful tips. Just to mention your reaction is only going to bring on more people making fun of you...I won't.
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