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Old 02-21-2012, 04:18 PM
 
13,005 posts, read 18,899,548 times
Reputation: 9252

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Are you tied to the Washington DC area? That region is really expensive because so many residents have good government jobs. You may consider moving to a lower cost area.

 
Old 02-21-2012, 04:25 PM
 
224 posts, read 551,122 times
Reputation: 147
I feel for you but this is the public opinion, it's hard for them to be empathic to something they can't relate to. You should get on some waiting lists for subsidized housing, there are hud ones besides section 8 but I have to tell you the country has become chock full of trash and they all live in these places. People are jerks about this stuff, they mistake ssdi for ssa. You are probably going to have to either take a BIG hit on lifestyle, maybe get rid of the car etc and just rent a cheap ap't in a decent area, or get into subsidized housing and live with a level of trash that you've probably never encountered. Best case scenario would be to have your children stay living with you and contribute, that will be win win for everyone because it's easier to make it as a family than individually. Good luck!
 
Old 02-21-2012, 04:57 PM
 
82 posts, read 150,420 times
Reputation: 22
@ Jasper the thing about that is I just don't trust them. I saw a guy ex firefighter in a wheelchair and he worked for 2 weeks p/t and they took everything away so it scares me

No I'm not opposed to moving. I actually would rather move to a cheaper place but that's safe.

And you are right. I don't want to live near troublemakers, etc. I just don't understand why you got to have a lot of money to not worry about your and your children's safety but I get it.

I have thought about selling my car a lot because I did get it while I was still working but in less than 2 years it will be paid for. And as far as am I worse off than the paralyzed person - no I'm probably not. Since it seems that a few people want to know my personal business (although I did post in frugal living and not personal) I will tell you. I have had panic disorder (genetically related) all my life and when my hormones got messed up it get worse. Was told by psychiatrist, it happens a lot. Also stress disorder. I take meds but my therapist (and I've been seeing them since I was young) have tried things and they have all ultimately said that when it's genetic, it's harder to treat. I actually got to where I barely leave the house. Trust me, this is not living but it's what I was dealt. I don't think any 1 of you would take a chance on losing your income and health benefits (medicare) on a job that will pay less than you are getting with no benefits. If I'm trash for that, then you need to rethink your values. Thx again, Steph
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:02 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,019,531 times
Reputation: 30721
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
EE Believe it or not, I don't qualify for food stamps. I am on the section 8 waiting list but it's 5 years long. Thx
You will qualify for food stamps when your SS goes down to $700/month. Section 8 is your only hope. Also look into energy assistance.

And I don't think your children should help you out. They will be 18. Let their helping you out be working for their own expenses. If you need to collect $100 or $200 a month from them to cover higher water bills, that's cool but don't depend upon that money because they will not live with you forever.

btw, sad to say this but getting married would solve your problem.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:06 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,019,531 times
Reputation: 30721
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
BTW it's not actually 700 a month it's 1360 I just took out my car payment and insurances
Huh? Which is it? I thought it was 1360 now and would become 700 when the youngest child turns 18.

You can definitely live on 1360/month in a low cost of living city with section 8, energy assistance and food stamps.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Southern Maine, Greater Portland
513 posts, read 896,755 times
Reputation: 528
@Girl, I'm hoping things will work out for you, don't let others get to you with their judgemental comments. Unless someone has walked in your shoes they don't know your worries. You've paid Social security taxes during your employed years, it's there for when you need it ~ and now you need it. I agree with another poster, sit down with your family and work together as a team. Everyone working together is how it use to be in the good old days Good Luck and all the best to you !!
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:11 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,019,531 times
Reputation: 30721
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
I have thought about selling my car a lot because I did get it while I was still working but in less than 2 years it will be paid for. And as far as am I worse off than the paralyzed person - no I'm probably not. Since it seems that a few people want to know my personal business (although I did post in frugal living and not personal) I will tell you. I have had panic disorder (genetically related) all my life and when my hormones got messed up it get worse. Was told by psychiatrist, it happens a lot. Also stress disorder. I take meds but my therapist (and I've been seeing them since I was young) have tried things and they have all ultimately said that when it's genetic, it's harder to treat. I actually got to where I barely leave the house. Trust me, this is not living but it's what I was dealt. I don't think any 1 of you would take a chance on losing your income and health benefits (medicare) on a job that will pay less than you are getting with no benefits. If I'm trash for that, then you need to rethink your values. Thx again, Steph
I have a family member who is overcoming this. You can't stay in the house. You'll only get worse. You have challenge yourself. Force yourself into uncomfortable situations, force yourself to stay. Get better therapy. Don't let a mental health professional give up on you. Find someone else who is willing to treat you. You need to be exposed to things that cause you panic. You need to understand that the places and situations aren't what cause your panic. Your panic attacks just come for no reason whatsoever. Once you can get your mind to stop associating your panic attacks with places and situations, you'll be on the road to recovery. Avoiding things will only make it worse.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:20 PM
 
4,338 posts, read 7,506,118 times
Reputation: 1656
Why are you living in such a high cost of living area? You could move to Texas. What about the 17 year old working? Is this a 1 bedroom apartment? Why do you need cable for?

Home phone averages out at $64.50. Why do you need this? No cell phone?

You have a car that you CAN'T afford. How much was the car? interest? What kind of car?

$200 a month on insurance? This is very high.

Why are you even thinking about buying a house?



Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
Hi all, I've been worrying for the last couple years about this. Admittedly, I am a worrier but here's the deal - I am a single mom with 17 and 18 yr old. Mom, who is 74 and still working, is also with us. My rent is 900 a month. I get 2200 a month on SS but when son turns 18 it will drop 1000 a month. I will have 1360 a month then. My mom helps with food and electricity. My mom also says Oh don't worry I'll just give you some towards the rent, but I do worry. She is 74 with peripheral artery disease and if something were to happen to her I couldn't afford it. My 18 yr old is going to college and working. I know she would help if she has it but it's so stressful to worry about it. Here is a picture of my situation
Rent - 900.00
TV, phone - 129.00
Car - 360.00 for 2 more years
Ins. - 200.00
I am willing to move, as I live in expensive area, but have never been anywhere and don't really know where to go. Mother just wants to stay here cause of her job. I'm going to have 700 a month to live on after ins. car payment etc. Have even thought about buying but could only qualify for 50-60k and don't know what I could get for that. Nothing around here. I am in Md in the DC/Va/Metro area. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thx, Steph
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:25 PM
 
4,338 posts, read 7,506,118 times
Reputation: 1656
People are going to post based on what YOU say and we are trying to help you here.


Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
Ok, this has pissed me off some. First of all ,you assume things you do not know. I am on SSDI for a reason. It isn't necessarily anyone's business. I have been a single parent for mostly all of my kids' life and I worked (hard I might add) up until a few years ago at 1 and sometimes 2 jobs. I resent the fact that some of you automatically assume I live off the system. Excuse me, I get SSDI that I WORKED for and I pay all my own bills. My mom has lived with us since my kids were babies by HER choice not mine. I come here for advice and I feel I've been attacked. I wish I could work as I go crazy in the house all the time but that is not an option. What judgmental people, who have no clue of my situation. If you are only going to attack and have nothing nice to say then don't reply at all. There are plenty of people in this situation, not just me, and no wonder our country is in the shape it's in if this is what people do. To the Canadian - You obviously have issues with your own mother that has nothing to do with me. I have raised 2 great teens and they would really have a problem with your view of me. To anyone who has anything helpful to say I'd appreciate it. Also, I am not and have never lived off of my mother or anyone else. I would never dream of taking my kids' money. I will come back in a bit as this last poster has me so mad and upset I'm shaking. Steph

P.S. The 200.00 is car and health insurance combined.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 07:39 PM
 
82 posts, read 150,420 times
Reputation: 22
Ty Main, You are absolutely correct. I really appreciate that you see things aren't just black or white. There is a lot of gray. I used to judge and think the same way when I was younger but not anymore. There but for the grace of God go I.
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