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Old 02-21-2012, 09:39 AM
 
82 posts, read 150,444 times
Reputation: 22

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Hi all, I've been worrying for the last couple years about this. Admittedly, I am a worrier but here's the deal - I am a single mom with 17 and 18 yr old. Mom, who is 74 and still working, is also with us. My rent is 900 a month. I get 2200 a month on SS but when son turns 18 it will drop 1000 a month. I will have 1360 a month then. My mom helps with food and electricity. My mom also says Oh don't worry I'll just give you some towards the rent, but I do worry. She is 74 with peripheral artery disease and if something were to happen to her I couldn't afford it. My 18 yr old is going to college and working. I know she would help if she has it but it's so stressful to worry about it. Here is a picture of my situation
Rent - 900.00
TV, phone - 129.00
Car - 360.00 for 2 more years
Ins. - 200.00
I am willing to move, as I live in expensive area, but have never been anywhere and don't really know where to go. Mother just wants to stay here cause of her job. I'm going to have 700 a month to live on after ins. car payment etc. Have even thought about buying but could only qualify for 50-60k and don't know what I could get for that. Nothing around here. I am in Md in the DC/Va/Metro area. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thx, Steph

 
Old 02-21-2012, 09:45 AM
 
3,670 posts, read 7,162,696 times
Reputation: 4269
Is working not an option?
 
Old 02-21-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: MO->MI->CA->TX->MA
7,032 posts, read 14,479,950 times
Reputation: 5580
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
Hi all, I've been worrying for the last couple years about this. Admittedly, I am a worrier but here's the deal - I am a single mom with 17 and 18 yr old. Mom, who is 74 and still working, is also with us. My rent is 900 a month. I get 2200 a month on SS but when son turns 18 it will drop 1000 a month. I will have 1360 a month then. My mom helps with food and electricity. My mom also says Oh don't worry I'll just give you some towards the rent, but I do worry. She is 74 with peripheral artery disease and if something were to happen to her I couldn't afford it. My 18 yr old is going to college and working. I know she would help if she has it but it's so stressful to worry about it. Here is a picture of my situation
Rent - 900.00
TV, phone - 129.00
Car - 360.00 for 2 more years
Ins. - 200.00
I am willing to move, as I live in expensive area, but have never been anywhere and don't really know where to go. Mother just wants to stay here cause of her job. I'm going to have 700 a month to live on after ins. car payment etc. Have even thought about buying but could only qualify for 50-60k and don't know what I could get for that. Nothing around here. I am in Md in the DC/Va/Metro area. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thx, Steph
With so little income, I'd just focus my efforts on earning more (as a family).. your kids should try to get jobs as well (and it'll build their resume early on.)
 
Old 02-21-2012, 09:52 AM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,357,132 times
Reputation: 26469
Sorry, no one "needs" tv and phone. You can get a cheap land line for $10 a month. Your insurance is $200 a month? Is that car or health or both? Apply for food stamps. As for your car, what on Earth do you have for that high of a payment? I guess you have had it for awhile, may as well pay it off. Can you get a job? Even on SS you can work some, as long as you are still below SGA (substantial gainful activity), go talk to vocational rehabilitation about it.

Well, all I can say is just live one day at a time.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Ka-nah-da
253 posts, read 557,950 times
Reputation: 338
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlwithnolife View Post
Hi all, I've been worrying for the last couple years about this. Admittedly, I am a worrier but here's the deal - I am a single mom with 17 and 18 yr old. Mom, who is 74 and still working, is also with us. My rent is 900 a month. I get 2200 a month on SS but when son turns 18 it will drop 1000 a month. I will have 1360 a month then. My mom helps with food and electricity. My mom also says Oh don't worry I'll just give you some towards the rent, but I do worry. She is 74 with peripheral artery disease and if something were to happen to her I couldn't afford it. My 18 yr old is going to college and working. I know she would help if she has it but it's so stressful to worry about it. Here is a picture of my situation
Rent - 900.00
TV, phone - 129.00
Car - 360.00 for 2 more years
Ins. - 200.00
I am willing to move, as I live in expensive area, but have never been anywhere and don't really know where to go. Mother just wants to stay here cause of her job. I'm going to have 700 a month to live on after ins. car payment etc. Have even thought about buying but could only qualify for 50-60k and don't know what I could get for that. Nothing around here. I am in Md in the DC/Va/Metro area. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thx, Steph
Your 18 y/o who will be going to college should not have to help out, do you understand how stressful going to college and working is, esp if she's in a full time program? You are an adult I suggest you look for a job instead of depending on your mother and daughter. This post makes me so angry, my mother was exactly like this, only she did work (the bare minimum).
You need to get a job, if you have problems getting one, seek help from social services. There is no reason why you should not be working when your children are this age. no wonder people btch and complain about people on welfare in America, this would never happen in Canada, the government would make you look for work and there is no way you'd be seeing $2200 a month.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 01:24 PM
 
82 posts, read 150,444 times
Reputation: 22
Ok, this has pissed me off some. First of all ,you assume things you do not know. I am on SSDI for a reason. It isn't necessarily anyone's business. I have been a single parent for mostly all of my kids' life and I worked (hard I might add) up until a few years ago at 1 and sometimes 2 jobs. I resent the fact that some of you automatically assume I live off the system. Excuse me, I get SSDI that I WORKED for and I pay all my own bills. My mom has lived with us since my kids were babies by HER choice not mine. I come here for advice and I feel I've been attacked. I wish I could work as I go crazy in the house all the time but that is not an option. What judgmental people, who have no clue of my situation. If you are only going to attack and have nothing nice to say then don't reply at all. There are plenty of people in this situation, not just me, and no wonder our country is in the shape it's in if this is what people do. To the Canadian - You obviously have issues with your own mother that has nothing to do with me. I have raised 2 great teens and they would really have a problem with your view of me. To anyone who has anything helpful to say I'd appreciate it. Also, I am not and have never lived off of my mother or anyone else. I would never dream of taking my kids' money. I will come back in a bit as this last poster has me so mad and upset I'm shaking. Steph

P.S. The 200.00 is car and health insurance combined.

Last edited by girlwithnolife; 02-21-2012 at 01:28 PM.. Reason: not finished
 
Old 02-21-2012, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,229 posts, read 30,028,651 times
Reputation: 27688
First of all, everyone goes to work. Your teens can work part time after school. You can get any full time job you can. If you are all making minimum wage @ $8 per hour, you will make about 1K per month(take home) and if the kids work about 15 hours a week each, there's another $800 per month into the pot. Immediate problem solved. You will actually be a little ahead.

There's nothing wrong with the kids getting a dose of reality. They are old enough to work 15 hours a week and could easily do weekends only. It's not great for the social life but neither is being homeless.

Long term you have more issues. Get a cheaper phone and a digital antenna so you can get rid of cable. Your Mom is 74 and reality says she won't be working that much longer so get ready to have to make up for her share of the expenses. As soon as your income drops, have your application ready for food stamps. You live in a very high COL area. Why? If your Mom is the only one working I would be thinking real hard about some place that's cheaper.

I am just guessing your SO died. Did you know you can get 1/2 his SS when you turn 60? Providing you were married for 10 years or more.

My biggest question about your situation is the water under the bridge. Why have you NOT been working and preparing for this day for years? You should have had an extensive work history and a career by this point in life. Ideally, your should have been working all along and banking(investing) a good portion of the SS money. What will you do in another year when both the kids are over 18 and there is no more SS?

You are going to have to work twice as hard now to make up for your choices.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Ka-nah-da
253 posts, read 557,950 times
Reputation: 338
To withnolife, if there were a legit reason for you not working then why would the gov't be taking such a large amount of money away after your daughter becomes a legal adult? You haven't told the whole story so the only thing people can go by is what info you have written. If you knew you couldn't work and knew the government was going to cut $1000/month from you why didn't you think about this earlier, that's probably why you are worrying so much.

Jasper12 had some great advice.

Don't take things so personally, it's just a forum and I'm tame compared to some other people around here.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 01:39 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,357,132 times
Reputation: 26469
You could get a job working under the table, lots of people on SSDI do so, one guy does sales, he has TBI, is in a wheelchair, and he does this job for cash. Another woman I know does babysitting, and takes in 2 foster kids, they don't look at that money as "income". Sure, it may not be what you want to do....but maybe something you should consider.
 
Old 02-21-2012, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Southern California
3,113 posts, read 8,378,530 times
Reputation: 3721
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
Why have you NOT been working and preparing for this day for years?
In the post above yours she explains that she did work and only recently stopped, because she's on disability. These things happen. I wish we could all be completely prepared when bad things happen, but that's not the reality for everyone.

girlwithnolife, I agree with the advice above to get rid of the TV and phone, and get a cheap cell phone. And moving to someplace cheaper, once the kids are at college, is a good idea - a place for just you and your mom maybe?
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