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Frugal doesn't have to mean "miserly" and yes, there is a difference. It means knowing how to prioritize what's important. Putting money into savings and planning ahead for retirement, maintaining an emergency fund, and deciding where money goes before spending it. I splurge plenty on things I want, but I make sure I have the money first so I'm not getting into debt to have the splurge.
There are those who take frugality to the extreme where they are phobic about spending any money and do live a life without much pleasure or creature comforts. That's one end of the spectrum. Making smart choices with your money and learning to delay gratification so you can pay something in full is my personal favorite frugal technique.
But I wouldn't tell someone else how to manage their money and certainly not if they didn't ask first.
Frugal doesn't have to mean "miserly" and yes, there is a difference.
Very true, and you are preaching to the choir here, BUT -- and we've seen it here, and I've seen in it in real life with us -- the minute you say anything about thrift, the spenders spin it to miser so they don't feel bad about themselves. And that's sort of what you have to deal with. You might be able to talk about it a little, but never try to teach.
It took us YEARS to get our friends with kids to shop at the Grocery Outlet. What finally did it was while we were out for dinner with them, we had to "stop there" for something. It was literal -- we had to drag them kicking and screaming there.
It's now the first place they go.
They haven't picked up anything else, but we know this really helped them.
Generally, they are just wishing out loud that they had more money so they could spend more. Its rare that people are wanting advice on how to make their money go further.
I used to have co-workers ask me how I could afford to buy a house and they couldn't. I'd tell them that I didn't eat in restaurants, buy lots of clothes, or put anything on a credit card so I wasn't spending a lot on interest. . All I would get back were looks of incomprehension. I suspect they wanting to know what source of extra money I had found.
No. It's like teaching a pig to sing - you frustrate yourself and annoy the pig.
When I see people I know blow their money like this, it irritates me, but I am just learning to let that go. The only life I can control is mine. I've got my own goals, and if my friends want to live like paupers in their retirement age because of some handbag addiction, that's their problem, not mine.
I like to think I am maybe "not wasteful" as opposed to frugal, but whatever we have done over the years must have worked. Now in retirement we have our house fully paid off and both late model cars are paid for. We have never been in a high income group and most of the time both of us worked. I think that being careful with credit cards is very important. Some seem to take pleasure in complaining that they "can't afford" certain things but it is just a matter of priorities. Now that we are retired it is nice to be able to eat out (not just fast food) every few weeks and take an occastional real vacation to a place we have never been. I do feel badly for those that have mega medical problems and have to spend huge amounts of money on that. I know there are some that are in financial straights because of misfortune and not because of how they handled their money.
To clarify, my opinion of wasteful spending is not just on clothes and eating out. That is an individual choice.
One friend was complaining that the bank kept charging her for insufficient funds because her car payment was set to come out the day before she was paid every month. She couldn't be bothered to call the bank and change the car payment date. $50 down the drain every month... That is when I really have to bite my tongue.
I agree - offering advice unsolicited is not a good idea. But when you have a close friend always complaining that they don't have money, it is so hard to hold back. I just want to see them happy and succeed.
If you have a very close friend always complaining about lack of money, you could certainly offer to support them in working out a better budget.
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