Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Dear God, and people say Minnesotans are passive-aggressive.
Just tell her firmly that her work is uninvited and to knock it off. If she does it after that, get the police involved.
Would you say "it's just siding" if OP wrote that the neighbor came over and painted an exterior wall (which would be cheaper to deal with than re-sodding a lawn)?
"Oh, that nutty Mrs. Donegal, there she goes nuetering the neighborhood pets and painting people's houses again. Better get my brush."
I think the best approach is just to be kind and polite, but tell her simply "Hey, I noticed you mowed our yard again. OK here's the deal - we prefer to mow our lawn. Thank you, but please DO NOT MOW OUR YARD AGAIN. I mean it - don't mow our yard anymore." Then say, "But you know what you CAN do for me if you like? You can go with me to the grocery store!" Or "You can promise me you will come over for coffee at least once a week." Or something friendly like that, so she doesn't feel rejected or criticized.
Now, if after that, she STILL comes over and mows your yard, you can actually get more crunk about it - but right now I'd just be really nice. Firm but nice.
See, now I'd change the last part of that to "Right now I'd just be really firm. Nice but firm". It's pretty obvious that the neighbor hasn't taken a direct request not to mow the lawn to heart so far, so at this point the OP is only required to be firm but polite during any further communications regarding mowing.
There is a difference between being nice and getting walked all over. There is nothing wrong with saying to her "Please stop cutting my lawn. I know you have good intentions, but you have actually damaged a few things. So from now on, please don't."
Is it possible that she has the beginning of dementia and is getting confused as to where her lawn ends and your lawn begins?
===================================
If you have told her multiple times and she still is mowing your lawn I would contact the police. A friendly visit from a police office may tell her that you "really mean business".
Is it possible that she has the beginning of dementia and is getting confused as to where her lawn ends and your lawn begins?
===================================
If you have told her multiple times and she still is mowing your lawn I would contact the police. A friendly visit from a police office may tell her that you "really mean business".
That's what I was about to suggest or ask.... does she have her wits about her??
Does she have family that you know of? Maybe, if she's losing it it's not to the point where someone that's not around all the time would notice yet but might be onset.
I would contact family if you have that ability.
I know my mom is fully functioning (almost). I'm around her more than the rest of the family and they don't see what I'm seeing. I can tell her the same thing about 10 times.. and she'll write it down 8 of the times yet she will argue with me that I never told her. She gets pretty defensive. But like I said.. it's just with some things and the others can't quite see it yet.
A neighbor three houses down befriended me when I moved here, and she cuts my lawn often. She is retired and I still work. I tell her all the time not to. I told her I enjoy doing it. I told her everything I could think of to be nice about it. She has shredded a door mat with the mower, chopped up a drain pop-up, and shaved off new grass until it died. Still, I come home to it being mowed. I have tried getting to it before she can, and that just makes her do it more often. I cannot be ugly to her. She is a very kindhearted person and clearly has no clue that it's a problem. So I just consider it my "good deed for the day" and say thank you.
No... if you have told her numerous times not to cut your lawn, she DOES have a clue that it's a problem. She is defying your wishes about your own property, and damaging it in the process, no matter what her motivation is for doing it.
A situation like that would drive me crazy. You need to be very firm, instead of "being nice about it." There is a difference between "being firm" and "being ugly." You're not doing a good deed now, you're enabling a behavior that shouldn't be occuring.
Would you say "it's just siding" if OP wrote that the neighbor came over and painted an exterior wall (which would be cheaper to deal with than re-sodding a lawn)?
"Oh, that nutty Mrs. Donegal, there she goes neutering the neighborhood pets and painting people's houses again. Better get my brush."
LOL, best post in this thread so far!
But you're right, the principle IS the same. What I'm gleaning from the posts so far is that while the OP doesn't like what's going on, and wishes it wasn't being done, they are nevertheless willing to accept it. I myself would not. Now I happen to be very protective of my legal rights as a homeowner and property-tax-payer; that's why I would never live in an HOA where someone else could dictate what can and can't be done with the house and yard that I own. And I certainly wouldn't allow someone to do ANYTHING to, with, or on my property that I don't actually want to have happen, or that I object to in any way.
ETA: If I did find myself in the OP's situation with a next-door neighbor, I would first try a direct "We see that you cut part of our lawn and while we appreciate the thought, please don't cut it again. We want to take care of our lawn ourselves." If it happened again, I would tell her "I'm sorry if maybe I didn't make myself clear about it, but you really must stop cutting any part of our grass." And after the third instance I'd compare costs for having either a fence or a row of shrubs installed along that shared front property line. And then do it. If she then brought her mower AROUND the fence or shrubs to cut any part of my front lawn, I'd have my lawyer send her a letter.
Last edited by BBCjunkie; 10-08-2019 at 10:59 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
