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I know that I already have a thread. But the problem is that people stopped responding and I really would like some more insight, so please excuse me.
So I have used ancestry to meet some awesome relatives. But there's a little bit of a dilemna I have. And that is that even though most of these relatives are related to my grandpa and great aunt and uncle, they wouldn't all be related to each OTHER...
It's kinda complicated. My great grandma had a huge number of children. And this is where a lot of the important people come from. However, she had 2 marriages. And so the descendants are split on both sides. There's all these half cousins, but BOTH sides are very important parts of the family. I've recently met up with some of them and they are very knowledgable about our family history.
Here is where I'm split. I met relatives that are related to the HUSBAND of my great grandma, which would be my great grandpa. However, because half of these cousins belong to her other husband, they would not related to the cousins on my great grandpa's side. And I'm meeting all these awesome relatives on this side. So most people would be related to each other, but then up to a quarter might not be due to the different marriages that my great grandma had.
So I'm really torn on this. My great aunt made family charts and books and everyone would be related to her and myself, but not necessarily to each other. Would this confuse people? I really want to invite all these people, but I don't know what to do. If I don't invite them I will feel bad, especially since we are talking now regularly.
I can't find any information about this online. Every family seems to have a straight tree where everyone has the same last name or maiden name. It's not like that with my extended family.
If I were to invite everyone, HOW would I explain it? When we do family history, one thing might apply to one and not the other. I'm really hurt about this. Now obviously, I wouldn't start inviting both my dad's family, and my mom's family, and my mom's cousin's family. That would make no sense. It's just my great grandma had multiple marriages and all the half siblings were close.
I'm not sure there's a WIN WIN situation here. Then again, some people have no clue about family trees and even if I explained it to them, they would just assume they were all related, just because they have no concept of trees.
Do you have a sense of how many people would be coming to the reunion? If you can handle the numbers, then invite them all - and be sure your invitation gives a listing of what families you are inviting. Some will decline if they feel their relationship is too tangential. Or send out a pre-invitation, explaining that you are planning a reunion and ask who might be interested in coming. Include the family listing and give a general location of where it would be held. You could also ask your pre-invitees to let you know about any other relatives they may know about.
Only my opinion but it seems you are over-reaching a bit. I would start smaller and see how it goes before going full tilt. Enlist some help from family members who are enthusiastic and then expand if it makes sense and there is interest in including shirt-tail cousins. You could have a couple hundred people show up with jello salads or baked beans. Other than getting everyone at one event, what is the outcome you would like to see? Is this going to be a one-time event or something that you want to repeat on a yearly schedule?
I think the pre-invitation is a good idea if you decide to go for the entire extended family.
It does not matter what other people have done, you do what feels best for your family. Frankly, I would invite relatives from both marriages of your great-grandma.
After our parents died my family had several reunions where we invited relatives of my mother AND relatives of my father AND neighbors. My father had lived in the same house for 80 years (and my siblings and I grew up there) so many of the neighbors were almost like family. My parents were married for 50 years, so obviously, her side of the family knew his side of the family very, very well.
Obviously, these were not typical "family reunions" but it worked for us. We did this about four times over 15 years and each time about 80 to 100 people attended.
Only my opinion but it seems you are over-reaching a bit. I would start smaller and see how it goes before going full tilt. Enlist some help from family members who are enthusiastic and then expand if it makes sense and there is interest in including shirt-tail cousins. You could have a couple hundred people show up with jello salads or baked beans. Other than getting everyone at one event, what is the outcome you would like to see? Is this going to be a one-time event or something that you want to repeat on a yearly schedule?
I think the pre-invitation is a good idea if you decide to go for the entire extended family.
Well what you have to understand is I'm closer with my distant cousins than my close cousins. I only have 2 first cousins.
Do you have a sense of how many people would be invited (less will actually attend) if you do one group vs both groups? Are you looking at a total of 50 people or 2000?
Here is where I'm split. I met relatives that are related to the HUSBAND of my great grandma, which would be my great grandpa. However, because half of these cousins belong to her other husband, they would not related to the cousins on my great grandpa's side. And I'm meeting all these awesome relatives on this side. So most people would be related to each other, but then up to a quarter might not be due to the different marriages that my great grandma had.
I just re-read this part. If I understand correctly, there are a group of half siblings from two different fathers. But they all have the same mother. They are all related. I don't understand why you see them as 2 different groups/families.
There are always tangential relatives -- everyone who marries into the family is not a blood relative, but they and their children ARE relatives. I guess I don't understand why you see them as different families. Example: If you have an aunt who is your mother's sister, she is a blood relative. She gets married. Her husband is not a blood relative but he is your uncle. Their children are your cousins(blood relatives). You wouldn't invite the aunt and cousins and leave out the uncle, would you?
In your description above, ALL of these people are descendants of your great grandmother. They are all related through her. (unless I am mis-understanding you)
I just re-read this part. If I understand correctly, there are a group of half siblings from two different fathers. But they all have the same mother. They are all related. I don't understand why you see them as 2 different groups/families.
There are always tangential relatives -- everyone who marries into the family is not a blood relative, but they and their children ARE relatives. I guess I don't understand why you see them as different families. Example: If you have an aunt who is your mother's sister, she is a blood relative. She gets married. Her husband is not a blood relative but he is your uncle. Their children are your cousins(blood relatives). You wouldn't invite the aunt and cousins and leave out the uncle, would you?
In your description above, ALL of these people are descendants of your great grandmother. They are all related through her. (unless I am mis-understanding you)
Okay for the MOST part, yes everyone is related. But I have some people on a side that isn't related to my great grandma. They are related to my great grandma's husbands sister. They are even more related to me than my half cousins, but not related to my half cousins.
And then a very important person coming is my half uncle's half sister, not blood related, but also the niece in law of one of my great uncle's. She remembers the family very much, and is excited to come, despite not being a blood relative. I could never not invite her.
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