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It's hard to imagine the secrecy that surrounded these things back then, but unplanned pregnancies and adoptions were often kept very secret. The baptism record may well be all that exists.
On the topic of adoptions from decades ago: I recently found out that an aunt of mine (Canadian) had a baby when she was 15, back around 1949... she was sent over the border to the U.S. to have the baby. She stayed with a couple in the States for awhile until the baby was born. They adopted the baby and move elsewhere down south in the U.S., and my aunt returned to Canada. I wonder what then records were? If there were any records, other than the baptism records?
It was kept very hush-hush in the family till just recently (67 years later... and more than ten years after my aunt actually passed away). Some of the younger aunts and uncles in the family didn't even know about it, until it started being discussed by the older ones in the past couple of years.
I feel badly for adoptees trying to track down this sort of information, many decades later. Families went to great lengths to cover up the facts back then. It's sad that adoptees find themselves in these situations now, just trying to simply find out basic information.
It's hard to imagine the secrecy that surrounded these things back then, but unplanned pregnancies and adoptions were often kept very secret. The baptism record may well be all that exists.
On the topic of adoptions from decades ago: I recently found out that an aunt of mine (Canadian) had a baby when she was 15, back around 1949... she was sent over the border to the U.S. to have the baby. She stayed with a couple in the States for awhile until the baby was born. They adopted the baby and move elsewhere down south in the U.S., and my aunt returned to Canada. I wonder what then records were? If there were any records, other than the baptism records?
It was kept very hush-hush in the family till just recently (67 years later... and more than ten years after my aunt actually passed away). Some of the younger aunts and uncles in the family didn't even know about it, until it started being discussed by the older ones in the past couple of years.
I feel badly for adoptees trying to track down this sort of information, many decades later. Families went to great lengths to cover up the facts back then. It's sad that adoptees find themselves in these situations now, just trying to simply find out basic information.
Wow! These stories fascinate me. I think that in these cases, an investigator is useful. I don't know what they charge but I assume that most people cannot afford to hire one. Are you looking for your cousin?
My dads name was Peter neri and his adoptive parents were peter aND enis neri..he was supposedly born in Camden nj on April 8 1952...the story I was told is that a dr who just gave babies to couples who could not have them worked there. He would call the expecting parents and he would deliver the bloody baby to my grandparents. I was told he was never officially adopted because back then they believed that once he was baptized in the church that was his birth certificate. The name of the church was queen of heaven in cherry hillnj. My dad never served in the army. My father has passed and so have his adopted parents. When my dad went to get his license renewed he went to the city of camden and they told him there were no records of his birth.
I found your (adoptive) grandparents and your father's death certificate. Using those you can springboard to find other information. Did you check familysearch.org?
Also, try to check local newspapers and hospital records.
Wow! These stories fascinate me. I think that in these cases, an investigator is useful. I don't know what they charge but I assume that most people cannot afford to hire one. Are you looking for your cousin?
No, I'm not, and I don't know if anyone in the family is looking... I don't even know if the adopted cousin has tried to track down the birth mother or not.
My aunt later married and had a large family. I don't know if she ever tried to look, or if any of her kids have tried to look. But, come to think of it, I don't even know if her adult children were aware of the earlier pregnancy. The way it was kept such a secret for so many years, maybe not.
As I said, it was only recently that the older aunts and uncles started talking about it at all. My aunt's youngest siblings weren't even aware of the pregnancy, or why she'd gone away when she had the baby.
If that adopted cousin were to try tracking down her birth mother, she would still find relatives with the same surname in the same small town where my aunt was from... but, the cousin would have to know her birth mother's name and the fact that she was Canadian to find out that info. Unknown if the adopted cousin would've been told that info by the adoptive parents.
It's hard to imagine the secrecy that surrounded these things back then, but unplanned pregnancies and adoptions were often kept very secret. The baptism record may well be all that exists.
On the topic of adoptions from decades ago: I recently found out that an aunt of mine (Canadian) had a baby when she was 15, back around 1949... she was sent over the border to the U.S. to have the baby. She stayed with a couple in the States for awhile until the baby was born. They adopted the baby and move elsewhere down south in the U.S., and my aunt returned to Canada. I wonder what then records were? If there were any records, other than the baptism records?
It was kept very hush-hush in the family till just recently (67 years later... and more than ten years after my aunt actually passed away). Some of the younger aunts and uncles in the family didn't even know about it, until it started being discussed by the older ones in the past couple of years.
I feel badly for adoptees trying to track down this sort of information, many decades later. Families went to great lengths to cover up the facts back then. It's sad that adoptees find themselves in these situations now, just trying to simply find out basic information.
Not to get off topic on this thread...I have a friend who has a similar story.
My friend found out she was adopted 23 years ago, she is 58 now. Someone spilled the beans by mistake. Her parents had already passed away and for them, took their secret to the grave. But when someone said something they mentioned they thought she may have a sister that was a few years older than she.
Fast forward to just less than 2 months ago when I started helping her look. Bingo! Found out she had a full blooded sister and 2 half brothers (from 2 different mothers). The birth parents have passed as well. She now knows the names of her parents, great grandparents, and gg grandparents - her family tree has grown enormously given the information we found.
No one was looking for her because her sister, as a little girl, was told my friend died at 3 days old. What a shock for her sister to get the message my friend sent her with all the information she needed to know this was not a prank.
Fast forward to this past Thursday - they met!! They had a wonderful time over the weekend. But, a lot of questions are still unanswered. Did the birth family members know about my friend being given up for adoption...they hope in time, more answers will be found. They wonder if some of the younger Aunts that are still alive, or other family members knew and just kept the secret. They are hoping if they do know, they come clean.
But you are correct, it's terrible not knowing your true background. Until my friend found out she was adopted, whenever she went to the Dr., she gave her adopted families medical history. Now, she knows what ailments she needs to watch for, and this can make the world of difference to someone's life.
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