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Old 01-26-2018, 04:50 PM
109 posts, read 58,789 times
Reputation: 177


I helped someone I am close to with a DNA test. They eventually matched someone who is a close family member and evidence points to it being their adopted half sibling. The birth half sibling was messaged. They have not responded. The person I helped is totally fine with respecting the other person’s wishes, but I’ve wondered if the adoptee has even seen the message. They signed on after the message was sent so they have been logged in since it was sent. I am wondering all this because I’m thinking that an adoptee takes a DNA test for information on biological heritage. This is especially the case when they have used their real name as their user I.D. The only other reasons I can think of for a lack of response is the person didn’t know they were adopted or they only thought they were getting an ethnicity estimate and were shocked there was a matching system. As back-up, I tried social media and the messages don’t appear to have been read yet. I’m at a loss. Any ideas?
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Old 01-26-2018, 05:41 PM
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
9,637 posts, read 15,086,157 times
Reputation: 12688
What company did they test with? AncestryDNA have an app which doesn't include the messaging system. So if someone only uses the app to look at their results, they'll never see they have a message. Additionally, while Ancestry is supposed to email people to notify them they have a message, those emails often go into spam boxes or just never reach them - and even on the website, the only indication one has of a message is the little blue number above the envelope icon, which is apparently something a lot of people don't notice or understand what it means.

So it's entirely possible, for a number of reasons, that someone might not have even realized you sent them a message.

There's not really much more you can do though. There are ways to find someone's address or phone number, but that could definitely be seen as a violation of privacy and might make them very uncomfortable.
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Old 01-26-2018, 06:05 PM
109 posts, read 58,789 times
Reputation: 177
Thanks for the input. It was Ancestry. I considered the app issue. I’ve run into a lot of people who complain about the availability of messaging through the app. It’s a horrible shame it’s not on it. I also considered the email notification problems. I had never considered SPAM. Good point. I was thinking along the lines of their opting out of email notifications. I’ve heard some people do that. Ancestry needs to strongly consider a method that allows people to see if their sent message has been read. Many other websites do. It’s beyond time.

Right now, there’s no desire to move beyond web based contact. It will definitely stay on that level for a while. The thing that’s puzzling is even if the adoptee doesn’t realize they have a message, you would think they would be on the lookout since the results just posted. Thst’s why I wonder if they knew they were adopted or didn’t realize there was more to the test than an ethnicity estimate.I hope it works out. The relative interested in contact is a wonderful person.
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